hi again a thought today I would do a video on ten ways to honor the loss of your baby or a miscarriage when I went through this I found it quite difficult to know how best to honor my baby and so once it helps one out there who might be experiencing the same so number one a ceremony at a special place might be something that would help to provide some sort of closure when I had my miscarriage I had saved some of the tissue to then be tested and then the hospital returned that and I wanted to bury it so we chose a special spot in our garden in order to do that and we had a softer ceremony just because when you go through something like this you don't have a funeral or a gravestone to visit and so I felt like a ceremony would provide me with something as a point of focus that would help for sort of clothes in the chapter the next thing that you might want to do is to have some sight of the altar it may be very small and informal and you may even do this without realizing what it is that you creates him but I had a little space on my dressing room table and I just had a little vials of flowers my scanned photo and then I would put different things though depending on the season and I found that helped me have a place of focus where if I was thinking about my baby I had somewhere to sort of go and look at photo ins I say good morning or just let my baby know I was thinking of them might once pick something like a shelf a window ledge a mantelpiece and I would put fresh flowers there and just changed them over each week and they just provided a special place for me to sort of collect my thoughts when I was thinking about my baby the next thing you might want to do is to light a candle baby last Awareness Week is an October and culminates at the end of the week with the wave of light where everybody that's been affected by the loss of her baby likes a candle and then lots of boats a graph on social media and it creates one sort of wave of light throughout the world so lights in a candle is quite symbolic acts anyway and I tend to like to candle to mark specific dates that remind me of the loss of my baby so I tend to like to candle on my due date now will be the date that I use to mark the age of my baby and so lighting a candle can help us as I've showed that you are remembering your baby I also tend to light a candle on the date that marks the loss of my baby so you may want to do that as a way of remembering and thinking of your baby you may want to write a poem or write a letter to your baby and then keep that within a memory box just to allow you to verbalize are the feelings that you might have still locked inside write down our pot pens paper and say all the things to your baby that you never got to say in person as I've just mentioned you may want to create a memory box and that can be a special place where you keep things like the pregnancy test that you might have kept any outfits that you bought that you want to sort of keep to remind you of that baby it might be the scan throats home that you have and you want someone special to keep it it could be a toy that you bought and you might just want to collect all those items together I did create one of these but I found I could never actually open the box and look at the items in there but I wanted somewhere special to keep other items in one place so that might be something that you want to do the next thing is having some sort of special piece of jewelry mine is this little being here because I didn't know whether my baby was a bi or a girl and I didn't want to name the baby because I didn't want to give them what might have been the wrong gender we knit named our baby baby beam and because of that I wanted a special piece of jewelry that would make me feel like that I've always got a piece of my baby with me so that's why I've got this little being necklace it doesn't have to be something expensive or you might want to Commission something if you have something specific in mind but it's extremely precious to me this necklace and I do always feel like I have something of my baby with anyone to wear it you might want to plant a tree or a rosebush or some sort of flower in their memory in a special place in your garden we didn't plan anything specific but we decided on where we would bury the remains of baby being is in a special place in our garden where we have a rose arch and so it's a really pretty part of the garden and I chose that because I wanted something so special to be associated with my baby so that might be a way of having something special grow and just something pretty as a place of focus for you that you might want to go and sit and have a cup of coffee a stand so I look out the window and remember your baby bag when it comes to special dates for example your due date of the date the way that would matter what would have been your baby's birthday you might want to do something special like a balloon release when I reach my due date this is something I did I tend to buy a really large weather balloon and put ribbons on it a tail and then a luggage tag and write my message on the luggage tag and then we find someone special to go its release the balloon when I did this on my due date I do have to say that I felt a real sense of peace by doing it and it was beautiful to just watch this balloon float off into the air I found that quite moving tribute when it comes to Christmas Christmas is always a really difficult time of year if you've lost a baby and a way of remembering your baby at that time of you to have a special Christmas decoration we put on your tree you'll know that your baby's saw part of Christmas by doing that the final thing that you might want to do to honor I remember your baby is sounds strange but whenever I see a white feather I take a white feather to mean that my baby's watching over me and it's strange how many times I've seen a white feather in the most unusual of places and then just take that as a little sign that my baby is still there in some farm and that might be strange to some but it provides me with quite a lot of comfort I tend to keep wherever I find the feather I tend to pick it up and put it in my bag and I tend to keep the feather so that might be something that you might want to take harness a little habit that you farm that helps it is up think of your baby whenever you see a white feather as you can tell even though my miscarriage was over a year ago I still got really emotional talking about it and if you've been affected by this video then please know that you aren't alone and if you would like to message me then I will try to help you name any way that I can hope this video has been helpful please subscribe if you'd like more videos that discuss infertility miscarriage and motherhood after last thank you bye

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