10 WEEK PREGNANCY VLOG(After Stillbirth) & Baby Buys

hi everyone um so obviously this is a different setting and I'm coming to live from my nursery right now my husband is in the living room and I didn't get a chance to record this video earlier this morning so we're in my nursery instead so actually I'm gonna scoot back and hope that you can see me I don't know if you can or not but I think so this was kind of like a hard place to set up but today I am 10 weeks pregnant exactly and my sentence for this week is I found the heartbeat on my own this week baby is the size of a prune and starting to get bigger nails so if you've ever seen Juno you know that's a really big deal that the baby has fingernails and so baby probably has fingernails at this point so that's really cool um I don't have a whole ton of stuff to update you on so I'm just gonna kind of breathe through this video really quickly and I'll probably do baby bias together at the end of the video ok symptoms this week the only new symptom I have a lot of old sometimes I'm still nauseous and still you know having like the uterine stretching all that sort of stuff the only thing that's really new this week is hiccups I've started getting hiccups and my throat burns and I think my throat is burning because I've been more nauseous I've had more morning sickness and I just honestly thrown up more it's been I've been pretty nauseous so yep I mean it's just more the same I'm tired I feel the same I'm nauseous all the normal stuff that we did this week I found the heartbeat in case you couldn't tell by my sentence so as you know if you watched my last week's video my I think I originally posted it and it said ten weeks but it really was my nine week update I bought a sign-up Sunline be a 3.0 feel Doppler this is the pocket Doppler I got this on eBay for $56 and it's not anything particularly special it's not like one of those really fancy like metal black Hospital dopplers and I said when I did my last video which was on Monday because I missed a Sunday's video but I hadn't found the heartbeat yet that was as of Monday seriously Tuesday found it I went actually to a group my support group from for baby lost we met back up again because now she is pregnant the other girl from my group is pregnant and I am pregnant and then the leader wanted to meet up with us and see how we're doing so that was great and I got to see her and literally as soon as I came home from that I was able to find the heartbeat and what happened was I ran and I don't know if these two things are correlated or if it just disco incidental I ran out of the heartbeat or I'm sorry out of the ultrasound gel that came with the Doppler and so I went out and bought aloe vera and I had been watching someone else's video that found the heart be that like eight weeks her video was like nine weeks and five days when she recorded it for everyone here but um she was using aloe vera and hers because she just didn't have the other stuff and so since I ran out I was like okay I'll just pick up some aloe vera because I hear it works just as well and as soon as I got home with the aloe vera I was able to hear it so I don't know if the aloe vera made it easier or if it was just completely quitting the coincidental that I was able to find it the other thing that I found if that it is so much easier to find the heartbeat when I have a full bladder and an empty stomach so most often when I just woken up I will before I if I can handle it before I get up and go to the bathroom the first thing I do is I listen to the heartbeat and the reason for that is just because my bladders full and I assume it works the same way as an ultrasound I know you have to have a full bladder in order to have an ultrasound and it's the same technology just sound waves instead of I mean ultrasounds you sound waves too but instead of popping up a visual you just hear the sound so I assume that has something to do with it and then for whatever reason when my stomach's full I get a lot of gurgling and I think my my body just digesting so it took me a while I had a search for a really long time but I did find the heartbeat and I found it every single day since except Saturday when I woke up and I just I couldn't hold it anymore I just had to go and so I woke up I went to the bathroom and it's just it's harder to find when my bladders not full so I found the heartbeat that was really really awesome I started working on a birth plan I think I have it all done I need my husband to look it over and see what he thinks and maybe I'll do like a birth plan video at some point someone else asked me to do a video about the birth center which maybe I'll combine those into one video because they're kind of interrelated and the way my birth plan is written is related to the fact that I want a birth the centre birth and understanding that that may not happen so yeah I worked on a birth plan it's pretty thorough but I feel like pretty good about it and I've covered literally every single thing I could think of in it from what what our ideal is which is obviously for me to go into labor on my own before 41 weeks ideally I'd like to go into labor a little early just so that I can hold my baby as soon as a safely possible so like 38 39 weeks I don't I don't want to go into labor 28 weeks but so don't misunderstand me but um I just know I'm gonna be very anxious around the time that baby is due and I don't feel like my body is a safe place for a baby to be so as they get older I'm gonna want them out so anyways my ideal straight from going into labor on my own giving birth at the birth center you know having a water birth having all these people there all the way – what happens if I have to transfer at the hospital what happens if I need a caesarean what happens if the baby dies and how I want things handled and I I've covered I think everything that I could cover in it and I hate I feel really good it's pretty thorough but I feel really good about my birth plan oh and then the other thing we did this week is Shark Week this week is Shark Week so my husband and I our anniversary usually falls on shark week because of the Olympics this year that didn't happen so this year we which was fine because Ken's come the teacher and his school started the day of our anniversary so that day we went out we had a really nice dinner but that was all we did and then for Shark Week we got a hotel and you know had a romantic evening of watching sharks and celebrating our anniversary and then that was Friday night which Friday night we got there and shark week wasn't on and I was really disappointed and I called my best friend and she said yeah ended on Thursday it's like that's not a whole week but the Discovery Channel was playing something else it was like gold rush or something like that but then Friday morning or Saturday morning rather it was cleaned so we got to watch some sharks so that was cool and then that afternoon we went and saw Batman again which is a very good it's just a good movie I'm really amazed at the acting ability I don't know his name but the guy who played Bane just did incredibly well it was it was just very well done it was a phenomenal movie so we got to watch that again and then we just spent the evening home just dressed in the puppies and it was romantic and sweet and silly and fun um feelings this week I felt just relief as soon as I found the heartbeat and uh my anxiety has gone down tremendously each morning I listen to this heartbeat and sometimes I look for it in the middle of the day although I do have a harder time finding it I'm a little bit less anxious because I was like I know I found it this morning yeah so I've been feeling just much less anxious and getting really excited um how Ken's feeling Kenny found this really awesome mean I guess it's a picture of Boromir so if you watch Lord of the Rings or know what I'm talking about there's the scene in Lord of the Rings where Boromir is like this and he's got this really intense look on his face and he's explaining that how they're gonna get rid of the ring or whatever and he goes I think the line is one does not simply walk into Mordor and you know dispose of the Ring of Power or something something along lines that and Ken found a really awesome picture of him doing that and it said in it it this the text said one does not simply explain to his pregnant wife that she's overreacting which I thought was really funny which we have not had any issues where Candice explains that I'm overreacting but I just thought it was a joke and I thought it was silly but I was like oh but I don't do that and he said honey you're much more sensitive passively which I guess is really true I have been very sensitive and crying I cry all the time when we were waiting to see Batman there were like two previews that made me cry oh the Timothy green one where they like they're struggling to conceive and then this they put like all these papers of what their perfect kid would be like into a box and then bury that box in the garden and like this boy shows up from the garden the next day that creepy makes me cry um diaper commercials anything like they it all just makes me cry so I guess that's fair so that was what he said to say um but he was excited that that we heard the heartbeat really early he came in here as soon as I heard it we had a bunch of people over in the backyard and I called him into the nursery and I was like hey c'mere and he listened and it was a really sweet moment just between the two of us so that was really cool and I think he's really glad to hear it and the other thing is this week he found his old iPod shuffle that had a playlist on it that he used to listen to when I was pregnant with Adelaide and it had one of the songs that he used to sing to my belly in it and he had he cried a little bit he hadn't like a little bit of a breakdown about that so oh another emotional thing that I didn't write down I've been thinking a lot more about Adelaide lately and I don't know if that's meeting on Tuesday as part of it and I also talked to one of my friends on Facebook who no I guess has subscribed to my video hi Abby I've known her since preschool and she's awesome and she's a labor and delivery nurse now and that's really really exciting and I was talking to her and I kind of told more of the story and and explained and this isn't even my in my stillbirth video but explain what it was that the labor and delivery nurses did that was so kind to us and I thinking about just the kindness of the people in the hospital just got really dark in here the kindness of the people in the hospital and those that I had around me I just get really emotional about it because I I couldn't have had a better support system and I'm so thankful because some some families don't get that when they lose their baby and my midwives and my doctor and my nurses were just incredible and thinking about them has just kind of brought up some stuff with Adelaide and hearing the heartbeat again too has has brought up some stuff because we saw the heartbeat when we had the ultrasound but we didn't hear it and so hearing it for the first time made me really emotional and I cried and then we saw this little girl CIN crying all the time you saw this little girl at Target yesterday and she was playing like eenie meenie miney moe and I just started bawling cuz I thought about how and I know that I have this baby but I'll never hear Adelaide play eeny meeny miny new beau which is just such a basic part of childhood you know and I had a hard time with it but it's good it's the good kind of emotional moving of stuff and I'm just feeling emotional I guess but good and then for baby biases week the only baby guy that I have and after this I'll show you my belly and then we'll be done is one last cloth Baker I'm not gonna buy anymore bakers well I say well Intel until we find out the gender and then I want to get at least one dinosaur one if it's a boy and at least one pink frilly one with like a ruffle on the butt if it's a girl but this is my last newborn diaper this is a newborn all in one diaper it's just really cute bread it has a biblical cord snapped down unsnaps and it's literally an all-in-one it's not like the other ones where they have like a tongue or something it's completely all sewn in so it might take a little bit of time to dry and it has double gussets I got this one on eBay I honestly don't even remember the brand it was just the like cheapo eBay one and this is much nicer than my other eBay one size diapers honestly this is one of the nicer newborn diapers I have I think but the only thing I'll say is that it took a really long time to get here but I'm really happy with it and I think it's really cute so that's it that's my baby boys for this week and then let's go ahead and do a belly shot I'm so bad at figuring out how to configure the camera when I do a belly shot okay so this shirts is small so it's not fitting very well but there's definitely a bump there something's going on so anyways that's it um I will talk to you guys all next week if not before then and yeah have a great day bye guys

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