5 Things you need to know Before, During and AFTER IVF



welcome to the egg Whisperer show a program exclusively designed to promote reproductive health awareness and discuss fertility preservation options here is your host a harvard-educated fertility specialist dr. Amy she's known as the egg whisperer fertility expert dr. Amy positive and you have yet another success story just launched by an East Bay fertility doctor hi everyone thank you for joining us tonight on another episode of the egg Whisperer show tonight's episode is on the five things everyone should know before during and after IVF this is how I think about it when you're doing an IVF cycle you can never be too prepared you can't be overly prepared and everyone should be in the know so the first thing that I think everyone should know is why why are you doing IVF what are the fertility factors that are playing a role in your case and the reason why that's important is that if there's something that you could possibly do to improve your chances what don't you want to know that before you actually started your cycle I'll give you an example for example let's say you're dealing with a sperm factor 50% of every embryo comes from a sperm cell 50% comes from an egg cell so if there are issues with the swimmers believe it or not it's true having good sperm does make a difference so if a guy is taking supplements eating right drinking less avoiding other toxins like marijuana cigarettes things like that that might give you a better chance with your precious eggs so find out the why and do everything possible to give yourself the very best chance get into the best shape of your life and take advantage of the IVF cycle as an opportunity to learn as much as possible about your personal health so that when you go through your cycle you also have not just the best chance of pregnancy but also the healthiest pregnancy the second thing I like all my patients to know about before during and after their IVF cycle is how relationships can change we know this all too well from the story of dr. meaning li and this is a story of a wonderful woman also a doctor who went through IVF with someone that she was engaged to and eventually married their relationship changed and then they got into a dispute over embryos I've seen these disputes they're not always in the news though where couples get divorced and a woman as we know we run out of our chance to have pregnancy most of us in our early 40s and if you're divorcing and you want a second child guess what you may not have the opportunity to have that child because you guys agreed that if you were to split up you wouldn't use the embryos or those precious cells would get discarded so if you're in a situation where you're having doubt about your relationship please make sure that you realize that your IVF consent forms are a form of a legal document if you have any doubt about the status of your relationship go to counseling seek assistance from not just a counselor but an attorney to help you draft a type of IVF consent form that is acceptable to you and if you feel like your relationships on sticky ground hold off on going through the cycle and what I tell people to do is consider doing an extra cycle if you're not quite sure but you still want to move forward do a cycle where you freeze eggs for you just in case something happens in the relationship so that you still have options in the future down the road so that goes along with this third thing that everyone should know and when you're going through IVF this third thing seems like the last thing everyone wants to think about or talk about and that is having unused embryos when I meet with my patients I always ask them one what do you think the problem is and two how many kids do you think you want and most people look at me like you know I have two heads because they always say I would be so happy if I could have at least one child but I know that when patients go through IVF they end up with extra embryos and how you feel about those embryos it changes over time and once you actually become a parent you actually realize what those embryos mean to you and what they mean to you as a parent is so different compared to what they meant to you when you were thinking about having at least one child so talk about those things with your partner before you go through IVF talk about what would you do with unused embryos would you donate them to another family would you want to discard them would you want to donate them to science and we heard of that pretty amazing story not that long ago about an embryo that was born after 20 years of being frozen so we know that embryos don't get freezer burn so be sure to think about these things because once you've discarded or destroyed an embryo that decision is irreversible but it can potentially help another family or maybe most science further along so the fourth thing and I think this is really really important is that pregnancy isn't always easy and so when you've had a really hard struggle most of us feel really guilty about complaining about pregnancy about feeling awful about being sick about being emotional pregnancy is not always enjoyable for a lot of people they don't feel like these sexual goddesses they don't feel beautiful they don't feel like they're glowing I like to think that all my patients look I was absolutely gorgeous pregnant and and but my patients sometimes don't feel the same and so the depression and anxiety that a lot of patients carry as they go through fertility treatment it's not unusual to carry that in pregnancy so it's really important to have a team have a fertility therapist make sure you're in a good spot with your partner and if not seek therapy seek help and there are a lot of books out there and I'll post one along with this video about how to cope with anxiety and depression in pregnancy so if your feeling that you're feeling guilty for hating every minute of pregnancy I can tell you you're not alone it does get better but sometimes it doesn't for some people and sometimes those feelings actually don't go away after you deliver and sometimes and I'm gonna go on to number five and number five is that those feelings that you had when you were having a hard time getting pregnant they can sometimes continue after pregnancy and beyond even if you've gone through IVF and it doesn't work years later the trauma of the treatment that you went through can continue so let's say you you were successful with your IVF cycle it isn't unusual to still feel pangs in your heart when someone announces their pregnancy you can be happy for your friend but you can also still be sad that you had to work so hard to get pregnant and that's totally okay so what I tell my patients those feelings are totally normal so I want people to know that they're not alone when they're feeling like that so these five things are important figure out why you're doing IVF make sure your relationships are solid realize that you may have unused embryos and you should talk about what you're going to do about those ahead of time pregnancy isn't always a fun ride and the fifth thing is that the trauma from failed treatments and even treatments that have worked is real so work your feelings out talk to a therapist and as always talk to your doctor so I hope you learned a lot from this show tonight and I hope you'll join us next week also hope to see you soon have a great night welcome to the egg whisperer show a program exclusively designed to promote reproductive health awareness and discuss fertility preservation options here is your host a harvard-educated fertility specialist dr. Amy she's known as the egg whisperer fertility expert dr. av+ and you have yet another success story just launched by an East Bay fertility doctor welcome to the egg Whisperer show a program exclusively designed to promote reproductive health awareness and discuss fertility preservation options here is your host a harvard-educated fertility specialist dr. Amy she's known as

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