36 Replies to “8 Ways to Cope with Miscarriage”

  1. Currently going through a miscarriage and it has been the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with. Finding your video has helped me out so much tonight. This has been the first night I've cried in a really long time. Thank you for sharing.

  2. I would like someone to share the physical healing part of it I to miscarried in December on the 12th and I still don’t feel normal I’m hoping that after I get my period I’ll start to feel more normal sigh 😔!

  3. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I'm dealing with it right at this moment. I pray that it gets better for you. And that it gets better for any other women or couples who are watching. Seeing your video is helping me to cope.

  4. Any time a body goes from being pregnant to not being pregnant, there is a significant shift in hormones that can affect brain chemistry. Postpartum depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders can affect a mom regardless of the point at which a baby is delivered. You are likely in a position where you need to process through grief while also having a vulnerable brain chemistry. This can make the experience of healing feel impossible for many. Grief is a normal process and includes a shifting of emotions such as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Grief felt after the loss of a baby from miscarriage or other event is not necessarily depression and while there may be some overlap, it should not be treated as such. According to what my therapist at bio tex told me. If you feel angry one day and dissociated from your loss the next, this is normal. If you are not aware of a shifting through the stages of grief and continue to feel debilitated by your suffering, there may be an element of clinical depression or anxiety that needs to be addressed. “Healthy” grief moves, but sometimes it can develop into relentless depression that requires more specific treatment. Many moms will experience depression that includes feelings of guilt, shame, self-doubt, and sometimes suicidal ideation. Regaining a sense of self, hope, and trust is important to one’s healing after a loss such as this.

  5. Coping with miscarriage is a difficult process and, because of this, many doctors recommend that women with a history of miscarriage not perform the physical activities listed above. The reason doctors often recommend abstinence from such activities is not because the myths are true. For instance, exercise can cause uterine contractions. When this occurs, the contractions may help to expel an already unhealthy pregnancy-one predestined to end early. Exercise merely brings about a miscarriage sooner, helping the body to expel a pregnancy that would have ended anyway. My doctor at Bio tex really enlighten me on this that I am now at a better place to understand it so well.  Instead, doctors offer such advice so they may shield their patient from the guilt of a recurring miscarriage. Even with a doctor's assurance, a woman may still believe her miscarriage occurred because of her physical activity. By abstaining from such activities, the woman who repeatedly miscarries frees herself from harboring more guilt if subsequent miscarriages follow.  Coping with miscarriage may prove a more difficult task when compounded with the knowledge that substance use potentially caused the lost pregnancy. Many women are unaware of their pregnancy until weeks or months after conception. During this time of unknowing, the mother may have engaged in excessive substance use (caffeine, cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs).

  6. I struggled to even get out of bed for my third blood draw this morning. This is hard and everything hurts. I know I'm not alone because I remember my mom suffering a miscarriage when I was a kid. But your video helped a lot. I go in for my ultrasound tomorrow to find out what's going on. My first ultrasound was supposed to be a happy thing. This really sucks.

  7. I understand that this video is over a year old now but I wanted to thank you so much for saying this. I miscarried at 5 weeks and had someone I trusted, the first person I told, say to my face that it didn't matter because it "wasn't a baby anyway". Ever since that I've felt guilty about being hurt over it since so many go through later miscarriages. Hearing you say that my hurt and disappointment are real and okay means so much to me. Thank you for this video ❤

  8. I’m watching this now as I am preparing to go in for a d&c tomorrow morning. I found my little one no longer has a heartbeat when it did 2 weeks ago. I’ve literally been crying for 7 hours. And I’m scared. Infertility is hard as it is but to lose a baby you worked so freaking hard for is the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I’d like to know where these communities are that you speak of. I honestly just need a real hug right now.

  9. I really needed this today. I found out I had a miscarriage from my first pregnancy. It was so hard. Yesterday I had my D&C. And now it’s so real, it’s horrible and hard. Thank you for this video.

  10. Thank you for sharing this video. It was the first one I found when I so desperately searched for a way to cope with losing our son at 13 weeks only one week ago. I've never felt so empty before and I felt like I wanted to die too, just to see him again in heaven. I don't know how I would have lived through the first days if it were not for God's love, my blessed husband's support or a Christian friend of mine that helped me see the situation in another perspective. I only saw the trauma over and over again how we didn't get any help at the hospital and I had to sit by myself at the hospital's toilet while my husband went for help because I bled so much. Then moments later, I gave birth and held the tiny lifeless body in my hands and I was so utterly shocked and traumatized that I hardly could cry or do anything other than just stare at him. My heart broke completely, so did my husband's when he returned to hear me say that I've lost our beloved baby. The doctor asked what to do with 'it' and I didn't know other than to lay him in the trashcan, asking over and over again "Isn't there anything we can to?" while the nurse only told me not to look at him. After that, they put me on heavily drugs to ease the pain and puke, so I didn't recall much before the day after. Then I woke up to having enormous pain in my stomach. When I came to the toilet to see remnants from the placental, I finally understood what had happened and was able to cry. And I cried until I was so depressed that I wanted to take my own life. Not having a tomb to go to and the thought of him being taken away in a trashcan made me so angry with myself, thinking that I should have known that we could have taken him home to bury him. I should have fought to get a proper place for him to rest in peace. In all these thoughts, God showed me a vision of flowers, telling me to bring them to the woods and carve out his name on a tree. This was going to be his place of memory. I cried so hard, getting this light in the darkness. And so we did. My husband carved his name and date, and we gave him roses. A hope started to burn in us, thinking that the boy's soul is safe with the Lord and we should not be afraid. One day we will be reunited with him once again. Also, my friend in our church told us that many people lose their loved ones at sea, others get bombed, burn up in fires or have other reasons that their bodies never get to be buried. I should not think about where his body were placed, because his soul was safely with our Lord and his memory would remain in our hearts. She helped me to pick out the happy moments, the gratitude of the months we got to love this child in my tummy, the opportunity to listen to his heartbeat and see him alive at ultrasound just hours before he passed away. The appreciation of being able to hold him in my hands one last time before saying goodbye and give him a name. A name we will treasure and call upon him when we meet again. Having my Christian faith in Jesus Christ was my rock and cornerstone through this hardship. Time doesn't heal any wounds, but His love for this child and for our family will put every broken piece back together. I don't blame Him for anything and I know he's been calling out for me over and over again to help my thoughts remain positive. Though I'm still on a rocky road, I'm not angry with myself or the hospital any longer for not being able to do anything about the situation. I've forgiven myself, and I've forgiven them. I wondered for so long why this had to happen, but I had to accept that he most likely was sick and that I'll never know any reason as to why he wasn't supposed to get a chance of life. But I remain hopeful and calm in God's promise to us that we will have children. And I pray that they will be healthy, happy and feel the love of God pour down on them. We will never forget our firstborn or lose our love for him. We will always remember our little Lucas, because a child is a gift from the Lord. And his love is always ready to excuse, trust, to hope and endure whatever comes. Again, thank you and God bless you and your husband so you can have His peace in your hearts in the waiting, and the joy of holding a child in your arms before you as well reunite with your precious child. Sincerely, Ester.

  11. I just lost mine at 8weeks.. ur sharing realy helpful n make me to feel its ok to be one n not ashamed of anything happend.

  12. I am so thankful you made this video! I have sent you a message on IG. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

  13. I’ve been dealing with miscarriage right now, I’ve been emotional and don’t wanna go out at all. My baby Is supposed to be 10 weeks when I went for an ultra sound but my baby died at 6 weeks and there’s no heart beat at all😔😢, after a day I found out that my little bean had no heart beat, she/he came out naturally while I was driving.

  14. I had a miscarriage 3 months ago at 19 weeks. Great points! One thing i can add for myself is Faith in God has helped me recover. If it wasnt for Gods comfort I would be depressed.

  15. Every single emotion I’m feeling you explained. I miscarried last night and I needed this video to cry through. Thank you.

  16. Carissa, I lost a baby too, even though I'm young, it still hurts me, when it happened I didn't even know, I've been crying for 3 days

  17. Hello, sigh…I just had a miscarriage at 19wks and 3 days pregnant. Which was this past Tuesday. My life has changed for the worst I was suppose to go for our ultrasound & to do other testing the next day & then this happened. I blame myself for this I'm hurting so bad I wake up everyday thinking it's a dream but it's really not I lost my first child. My boyfriend has handle it better than I am I just need help cause I keep holding my tears & shaking it off. I feel like I'm losing my cool.😢😢😢😢😢😢 I don't question God cause he has brought me through soooo much I can even write a book about it. I always wonder if I could see what the problem was to lose my baby.

  18. I've never been pregnant, but you're story was so raw and beautiful that it made me tear up. I know that God will Bless you with your Rainbow baby, as He did for one of my friends. You are so strong, and I love you for it ❤❤❤

  19. Just made a video about my third miscarriage :(. These coping mechanisms are so helpful and so right on. Wonderful video. Nice work and best of luck on your journey. x

  20. Such an inspiring video, thank u for sharing this…it's been nine months since our loss (I should have an almost five week old baby now) there are days when it's so hard to stop thinking about our loss, other days are easier…I know God is walking along with us thru the trials we are facing, He has shown us pregnancy is possible, and we will meet our little one in heaven one day 🙂 they are up there waiting for us 🙂

  21. i know you mentioned it, but i think the husbands / boyfriends need an own point,
    so #9 is, don't forget that your husband / boyfriend lost a baby too and he needs your support as well !! As what THEY feel too. Of course we have to go through the pain and everything but for the men it is horrible too because they can't do much and feel helpless a lot.

  22. I just want to thank you for sharing your story and in particular, this video. My husband and I struggled to conceive for fifteen months before conceiving our daughter who was born in May 2015 after help from a fertility clinic. We were overwhelmed with joy when we found ourselves pregnant in December of 2016 naturally; only to lose the baby in January. I struggle every single day and find myself referring to times as before or after the miscarriage. We have been trying for a few months now with no success…hopefully our rainbow baby will come soon and I'll be praying that yours does as well. Thank you again for sharing your story. Praying for your continued strength and courageousness through your journey!

  23. Carissa…. the timing and details of your journey grab my heart. My name is also Carissa. Me and my husband found out on April 28,2017 that we were 4 1/2 weeks pregnant. We were ecstatic! I was diagnosed with endometriosis five years ago so we didn't know if I would even be able to conceive. The Thursday before Memorial Day weekend (May 25) we had our eight week ultrasound. And there was no heartbeat. They also found that I had a very large cyst on my left ovary that needed surgery. So the following Tuesday I went on for surgery. Surgery on my ovary and also a D & E.

    I feel like you sharing about your journey was such a gift for me this morning. So many of the things you said I could totally identify with. God bless you for being willing to be vulnerable and honest about what you're experiencing. I will be praying that God will bless your lives with a rainbow baby! Hugs to you my friend!

  24. Thank you SO much for sharing this! This is something that women should be talking about and walking through together. I've experienced two twin miscarriages, and those experiences completely changed me as a woman, wife, and mother. I feel like talking about my miscarriages honors the children I lost.

  25. This was so great and honest, Carissa. Taking time to grieve is so important, I'm glad you are letting yourself be sad but also working on getting out of the house and staying busy. Praying for you guys!

  26. This was so beautiful and raw Carissa. You are incredible 🙂 So sorry this happened, I cannot imagine. Sending you so so so so so much love and comfort. Be encouraged that you are helping so many with your videos💖💖💖💖

  27. You are amazing Carissa 💕 I am also a Queen of comparing myself to others, especially women in our family that fall pregnant & are celebrated & put on a pedestal. I remind myself that a baby is a blessing & one day I can rejoice in the same when the time is perfect. A gratitude journal is my no 1 fav way to heal & de stress. Ohh & please check out a woman on you tube called Nicola Smuts Allsop. She is a woman of faith that can pin point using magic in the stars (astrology) when you will fall pregnant with a healthy child. (A method used for centuries) She has awesome videos & even an app you can download to pin point your best days for your rainbow baby. It is fun & inspiring. She has lifted my spirits in a way I can't describe. Sending you love & magic ⭐️🌈

  28. I had a miscarriage on thanksgiving last year and haven't been able to conceive since. Hubby and I were at a pool party today and I got on Facebook and saw a girl I went to high school with was pregnant.. I couldn't stop crying and we had to leave.. I definitely think I skipped #8 and went straight to #7 and never gave myself a chance to grieve. It's great to have the YouTube community especially living in KC! Thanks for talking about this girl, and I hope I can open up about this on my channel sometime soon♥️

  29. I know this might not be exactly what you want to hear but I truly believe that you having a miscarriage is exactly what God intended for you right now because you are sharing your story and helping so many other women. Stay strong and have hope.😊

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