A Day in My Life With Postpartum Depression

welcome to a day in our life mama sees it like in the camera right now is 1101 so almost exactly 11 a.m. we kind of had a rough morning because she woke up I like a million times last night and I got no sleep so we are very tired I am she's not so I'm trying to get her tired so it's keeping that she hate this she always thinks it huh mamas all I've done today is literally put my contacts in I didn't even brush my teeth eat none of that so we're gonna head to the kitchen and eat and then probably do I don't know do some work with her try to get her to play with toys because she is very uninterested in toys doesn't grab the toys doesn't pay any mind to them so he's trying to get her to learn how to grab things and put things on stuff like that so yeah let's go eat cause I'm starving this is my dog baby baby I struggle hard to stay awake during the day so I think I'm gonna start drinking coffee and more water for sure but I need some energy let's make some coffee hung up hopefully that's some day today at some point today I can brush my teeth I can take a shower so we have a whole coffee maker and everything but I have no idea like how to make the coffee I have no idea like what the ratio to water coffee whatever so I don't happen to me excuse me miss okay we had to take a diaper break so anyways like I said I'm gonna make this a fit oh yeah it's like instant coffee from Mexico and when they drink it's all they mostly drink over there so yeah I like it do you like anything and we wait of course oh this this is my life you guys okay we're gonna try this again okay is 309 already I don't think I'm gonna have a chance to like do my makeup and all that but I'm definitely gonna try to shower and hit the gym today I'm again in my wrap so this is gonna be an ugly video basically let me tell you right now our teachers are like one of the specialists that sees the baby came and I thought she was coming next actually tomorrow but apparently she's coming today too so it happens to me all the time my life was such a mess right there for a second but yeah my drink is coffee it doesn't taste that good but we're gonna force it cuz I'm tired and I need energy and I need a at the gym today too so why I need to put some vanilla I'm going to try to nail prep some nails because maybe for like two is because I'm trying to eat healthier and I'm trying to go back to the gym and like get fit and stuff like that but I need to melt prep because I won't eat healthy otherwise okay that's better if you guys see me looking off to the side that's definitely me looking into the viewfinder so I got the baby to sleep let's go look at her and it'd take me a few moments that she's asleep to drink some coffee and then I have to do some laundry and some adult that does some adult team have to call an insurance and have a blast so maybe hear me whispering mess because the baby so right now I'm milk prepping and I'm making this is some sweet potato so I have nutritionally salt pepper garlic powder I think that's all I put and I just cut it in blocks and I'm gonna put it in the oven at 400 degrees I had a little bit careless almost me use that and then I had some tofu left as well you can't really feed in there but I'll show you guys I'm gonna just pan fry my tofu and the veggies I have some broccoli Brussels sprouts I basically just went to my fridge and thought like what do I have little feetsies okay let's do some tummy time look at that big head you're lifting up the warhead oh you're so cute so right now it is currently 627 so basically 6:30 I think the last time I talked to you guys it was like four but I fed the baby let that fits it out for a few hours just let it it'll cool down and I could put it in the containers email prep for my dog like we make her her own food and then we put it in these containers so I'm just doing some hard containers and I have these veggies the babies in the swing over there had a put in here for a second so I could get something done around here and I'm watching Teen Mom but yeah we have tofu and there's just like tumeric pep paprika and nutritional yeast I've been interested only east on everything so you'll see like when I put everything in there I'll probably put nutritional yeast on it before I eat it this is nutritional yeast it's basically what vegans used to have like a source of b12 and it's really cheesy so it could use it as like a cheese substitute kind of you know like something that you would put cheese on and you just throw some nutritional yeast and it's actually healthy and nutritious so it's kind of like a vegan steeple and then I have this pasta it tastes a little weird like the sauce um but this pasta a crying baby and then in here I just have some sweet potatoes yep those are just oven baked so now I'm gonna put those together a year ago once I found out I was pregnant I stopped going working out super hard like I used to because I was scared you know I had a lot going on and then I was also scared that I wasn't like harm her or something so I stopped going last February and it is not January so that's kind of great but I'm ready to get back into it and I'm ready to have a nice body and that feel good and feel healthy and have more energy so hopefully everything goes good I don't know so I'm gonna just get ready and I'll show you guys what I wear before I head out okay so this is what I'm wearing all those clothes needs to be like super loose on me last year so it's like kind of embarrassing but it's fun I'm working progress so yep and then my things and then I'm just wearing this like I'm not like shiny materials stuff and then a sports bra of course but guys this clothes are specially so tight any studio needs to be big like this is really loose on me like loose no I'm I'm gonna brush my teeth and then put some shoes on and I'm gonna head out and then I'll catch up to you guys afterwards probably cuz I'm not gonna take my camera I might film some clips on my phone I might not I don't know but I'll catch up with you guys when I'm out of the gym I'll let you know how that work out the brush might keep two still I still have to brush my teeth so different yellow but it's yeah I'll talk to you guys but when I'm out at the gym well you know how that way we just got back from the gym so good happy Wednesday yeah that's baby's dad I don't think he's ever been on this channel okay so we're gonna make an egg waffle so it's two servings so four bananas this vegan protein powder and chocolate fun okay do find it in Costco and then we're gonna add almond milk okay milk and almond milk and peanut butter this is like natural peanut butter from Costco ignoring the music in the background on my mom babysitting the baby and I like this I like this almond milk because it's fortified with some like vitamins and minerals that are hard to get is this your first time tasting vegan protein powders yeah I don't know no tell me what you think really is it good I Tyson for you ah doesn't it taste like his – nowhere No one out of ten solid 3.75 well no salary living I love it well it's only because the baby and I don't like I don't like a lot of light like I just like it to be naturalized in not like overhead light like that but yeah just worked out tonight my mom watched her while I went to the gym and then I ate some chips and salsa I drink it slowly and yeah when do it again tomorrow so every day is very different for us you know it just changes by whatever we need to get done that day there's a lot I didn't get to today that I needed to or wanted to but yeah I'm just very tired in case you can't tell I workout was really good that was our first day going to the gym so we're gonna start going everyday I can that's what Smallville goes well I just took a shower right no that's I mean here's what it's getting long it's getting long but I want to shave me it's all dead and I dyed it last year actually I bleached it indicted last year so I wanted to kind of get rid of like that damaged hair and just kind of start fresh and also like I've been going through a lot of life changes so I just kind of want to I don't know like have a fresh start being you me and like I don't know there's just like weighing me down and I feel like I just identify as my hair so much that I just like it's part of my identity now and I want to be I'm kind of transforming into a different person and a new person so I just kind of want to start that change with cutting off my old hair you know so thank you guys for watching my vlog I hope it was interesting I haven't watched it back into the clips so I don't know yet but I tried really hard today it it's really hard to vlog if you've never done it then like try it because it's a really hard way harder than you would think especially about the baby and she'll be crying and it's hard to remember to pick up the camera and you're tired so yeah hopefully working out and drinking water and eating good will help with my skin as well because I've always showed that I can you believe it's really really bad right now I've always struggled with acne since I was in 12 like it's really bad right now stressed the way I was eating it wasn't working out so I just feel like I feel like some life changes will help with that but anyways I'll talk to guys my next video if I shake my head smile I'll definitely film it and

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