A Story of Overcoming Postpartum depression



to come and talk to you about a very important subject because I feel that it's something that isn't really talked about in the community and the community being people it's going to be a postpartum depression I wanted to tell you some of the ways that I am preparing myself for if I do have postpartum depression or even if I just have the baby blues it's something that happens to women and it's something that can hit women out of the blue and they may not know what they are dealing with so first of all I will go ahead and put the definition right here of what postpartum depression is postpartum depression is a mood disorder that can affect women after childbirth mothers with postpartum depression experienced feelings of extreme sadness anxiety and exhaustion that may make it difficult for them to complete daily care activities for themselves or for others I'm gonna put what baby blues is baby blues the baby blues is a term used to describe feelings of worry unhappiness and fatigue that many women experience after having a baby it's got to be what postpartum depression is and that is gonna be what baby blues is when I had ty roughly four years ago oh my goodness I can't believe it's been four years I had postpartum depression and I didn't know that I had it at first things were very hard for me I had just moved to Minnesota I didn't really have any friends I just delivered this baby decided to be a stay-at-home mom and so I'm at home isolated with a newborn there's a lot of things that happen first of all one of the things that happen is once I gave birth it's like I gave birth and then this halo of guilt came over me whenever I would do anything that didn't have anything to do is my baby I feel super guilty about it and I would just be sitting there like why why do I feel so freaking guilty about this today probably around like the six-month period it's when it started to get really bad I remember she would cry and I was because I'm in the mental health field I kind of knew the signs of it so when she would cry and I couldn't handle it myself I would not go into the room I would let her cry and I myself with like going to my closet and cry I remember being upset at my friends at the time because I'm home alone with this baby wanting to talk to someone and you know they're off doing their thing they're working so they can't answer my texts they can't answer my phone calls and I already I remember feeling not only like just really really lonely but also in a place of why the fuck is this happening to me I have a baby I should be happy right now so I put this should an expectation like a reality on myself and it was just like why I would go out with my friends so I would choose like a day to go out I didn't do it very often because I was like oh my gosh I don't want to leave my baby alone with my husband he's been working all day and I don't want to leave the baby alone with him because he also needs some me time and it turned into I was putting everyone before me and that was making me a sad not fun person to be around and I feel like that's what we do as mothers we put everyone else's needs before me and people may not believe this but you come first you come before the baby and you come before the husband because if you don't take care of yourself there is no way that you can take care of your family it's gonna be harder for you to be the wife that you want to be the mother that you want to be I don't say best because there is no such thing as the best mom or the best wife it's what you want to be you be the mother and wife that you want to be or partner that's when I became pregnant with this baby I thought to myself fuck I am about to go through what I went through and I needed to prepare myself for that so that when I get in that hole I already have a bunch of coping skills that I can do so one of the things that I wanted to talk about is start searching for a therapist right now the last thing that you want to be doing is in your in your blues trying to find someone that's going to be able to hear out your story so even if you're like I know I won't have depression That's not me girl get yourself to three therapists on a piece of paper just in case that way you don't have to worry about in the middle of the night worrying about okay I'll get to it with a baby sleep no write it down now that way when it happens go all you gotta do is pick up that piece of paper and call that number and set up an appointment know your benefits I say that because the health care market is changing so much that people don't know their benefits so then they will make an appointment with a therapist and I know this firsthand because by profession I am a therapist and people come in and they're like oh I have that deductible oh I oh I I can't afford to come back and it sucks because people feel they need health insurance they need the therapy people feel they need the therapy but the health insurance they didn't know their benefits and weren't able to prepare for that ahead of time so no your benefits but I got filled you gonna know your benefits because you're gonna get the hospital over after you have that baby and you don't know your benefits self-care Bailey I don't care if that's five minutes or 15 minutes you have time for yourself so if you need to wake up 15 minutes before the baby wakes up set yourself an alarm to wake up and do whatever it is you need to do my routine in the morning before KY gets up I go into the bathroom I like a lavender candle and while that candle is burning I brush my teeth I talked to myself I listen to a daily affirmation I listen to some inspiration I get my face together and then I'm ready to start my day that's my self-care so whatever you need to do whether that's having a Snickers in the closet while your toddler's napping and your babies crying do it self care daily I'd highly recommend at least 15 minutes planned time away from home without the family and that does not mean go grocery shopping that does not mean go run some errands what that means is if you like to go to target goal warehouse target for yourself by yourself add the support trust me what I want you to think about is if you were in a situation and it was an emergency who would you call and that person that you would call give them a heads up hey you know what I might need at least you know like an hour away from the house once a month you think you can that you think you can help me with that there are people in your life that support you're going to want to help you through that time so plan that out ahead of time because you're going to need to get away from your family you don't need to do everything with your family okay you're gonna need that break trust me get dressed this is a big one for me when I thought about me being having postpartum depression I thought about us like I used to wake up I would bathe KY I would take a shower and then put on like some pajama clothes get dressed feel good about yourself do not get back in those pajamas I talked about jeans either cuz jeans are uncomfortable to me but put on some leggings put on a nice shirt that's just for an hour may not want to wear that frumpy nursing shirt that's okay so get dressed because that's what you would probably do if you didn't have a baby feel good about yourself feel good about walking around the house I personally am gonna put on some lipstick or lip gloss because I'm gonna be killing it around a house plan your first girls night breakfast away so after you have a baby we have a tendency to get consumed in the baby get consumed in the husband we don't make time for ourselves we miss our girlfriends you want to talk about your girlfriend's plan that ahead of time set it out a month and a half in advance this day so you have something to look forward to no matter what you are going through you know in about a month you looking at your calendar and you just like yes I already know I'm about to be up there sipping mimosas doing me you have something to look forward to give yourself back give it to yourself also recommend if you can hang out with maybe someone that isn't a mom I know that sounds really really really really like oh well I just want to hang out with moms no no hear me out I'm gonna tell you why because we have a tendency to go out and then talk about our kids while we're out so if you can go out and talk about you usually your friend that doesn't have kids they may ask real quickly how you kids do it but then after that thing we'll change the subject and it's gonna be all about you and girl time give it a try get off social media you don't have to cancer your Facebook you don't have to cancel your Instagram but I highly recommend that if you have the blues get off social media that the only thing that social media is going to do is exasperate that you sitting here down in yourself and you're looking at social media and all you see is we don't make things happy got a raise you are comparing your insights to their outsides that is not going to help you feel better that's probably why sometimes when you feel in doubt and then you go check Facebook you feel like even shittier because people are not their true selves on Facebook so if you are feeling down get rid of social media you'll thank me later thank me later exercise walking lifting weights doing a video that produces positive energy you feel good about yourself so even if you're not something that goes to the gym you're gonna want to work yourself move your body get into a gift let's do some boxing don't you girl last thing that I'm gonna recommend is talk to your doctor of course talk to your doctor about how you are feeling if you don't feel comfortable talking to your doctor talk to some other doctor but this is gonna go ahead and wrap up this video I hope that this was super helpful I myself am a I am a licensed professional counselor so part of it does come from my practice and part of it comes from my own personal experience with postpartum depression and I hope that it was helpful if you have any questions go ahead drop them below I'll answer them as best as I can but for any woman out there that is struggling I feel you better I'm in there I've been there I feel you I wanna thank you so much for watching today now we hope to see you back soon then we appreciate I was pumping like you know like the hand thing but I'm not even gonna live cameras actually quite far away and I'm just gonna sit here on the phone for a little bit

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