Advice For Those With Post Partum Psychosis

the ship we are live on Kandi's pathway I'm here with the gorgeous look at her Olivia Segal listen guys I said where life what could possibly go wrong I'm sick I'm full of cold I've got an eight-week-old baby at home anything could happen but we're just gonna keep rolling throughout this entire episode please comment below this is an interactive experience we can see your comments and we will be talking to you this episode is all about mental health Olivia's gotta dive into her story in a minute but I've got a few stats that I just want to out there now seven in 10 women will hide or under play their perinatal mental health illness what do you think that is such a shocking statistic is yeah a shocking statistic when you think about how that translates across the UK and indeed the world of all the mums at home who is suffering on the road in silence with no how this is it and like I said my son's only eight weeks and I've got a four year old and I completely understand that need to just act like you've got it together well you're in the thick of it like that Frankie frog and you totally get what it feels like at the moment to be their new mum of two eight week old baby in that kind of new mum Falls yeah and the last thing I'll be honest the last thing I'm thinking about is my mental house yeah it's the kids it's dinner it's feeding time it's all of that before me cause you were last on the list exactly but also suicide is the leading cause of death for women during pregnancy and one year after but now that's that has blown my mind and it really highlights the danger of women going into motherhood and not being prepared with all the information they need of what maternal mental health is the warning signs of maternal mental health illnesses are most importantly where to get help if they are the one in five who is suffering after they have a baby this is it and dione I hope I'm pronouncing on I will butcher names to death let's just start there do you only Jackson you said that is shocking yes I am shocked and again it's it's especially mental health really related to pregnancy and motherhood it's shrouded in such a mess no one wants to talk about it and even though we have social media and I love Instagram for discussing certain things it's still very I don't want to say that I don't want to feel like a failure and I think when you go into motherhood everything you read about motherhood even one about the joyous occasions have been a mom and how magical it is and yes it is but it's also very challenging and we need to be able to talk about all areas of motherhood no judgement get it all out on the table and not feel like we're going to be judged that's that that's the only way we can really start to kind of fight down the stigma and the taboo that surrounds maternal mental health yeah for me personally when I had my first child Esme she's now four I was gonna have this natural birth surrounded by like bongo drums it was in my mind and then it just all fell apart emergency c-section I got sepsis after that I was separated from her for five weeks so it was just this ongoing thing which of course led to me getting postnatal depression but even in the midst of it I didn't quite understand what that was I just knew I wasn't bonding with her and I knew that this outpouring of love I couldn't receive it yeah and I finally decided to go to the doctor and I went on antidepressants and it slowly started to get better but I know that your experience is like like nothing I've ever heard you want to tell me about yes yeah we know oh the last kind of five years since I had my little girl we've heard quite a lot about postnatal depression and we've been trying to kind of raise awareness of that amongst new mums and I thing that I suffered with postnatal depression but then it kind of manifested further on going through having a ver into postpartum psychosis which resulted in me seeing having I'm psychotic episodes at home and seeing demons flying around the house threatening to kill my newborn baby girl and it sounds like a horror movie and it was it was like living in a horror movie I don't know anyone at home let us know if you have and that's what's kind of driven me after have you know since having my two little girls who and I five and almost for going gone 24 strong independent girl and that on the road up to having basis I'm not having a ver he's my eldest I'd like yourself I'd read all the books I got all the gadgets going I was totally in Italy my mind prepared physically and practically to have a baby I'd never once in any of the books why don't you think about postnatal depression I've never even heard of postpartum psychosis so when I kind of came out the other side had quite a traumatic bath I find myself in motherhood thinking why am I not feeling the way it was sold to me in the book so I'm not being overwhelmed with joy and happiness and why my feelings low feeling and then when it obviously developed into postpartum psychosis that was them to think I'd never even never even heard of and unfortunately went undiagnosed because we had no information about it we eat just clumped into the fact that I've been diagnosed with post natal depression and these episodes were a kind of side effect of that illness so how did you how did you get to the point of diagnosis because I I would believe that what I wouldn't even want to say that I'm seeing things or you know even if you lead towards saying you're gonna harm your baby or that's how you feel you're scared your child is gonna get taken away for me from the moment Ava was born there was something that wasn't quite right there was something off yeah and I was kind of consumed with anxiety panic attacks self-loathing and it kind of went on for about seven months after I went home with the baby from hospital and it developed into me not being able to leave the house me having maternal OCD weird have to kind of rearrange everything in her drawers every day I'd have rows of nappies all lined up in size order month by month and she was a premature baby but I had Lucky's running the right up to her being a year old or stored in this wardrobe and every day I would go in make sure they're all there make sure all our inventory to leave the house and got to the point where I'd said to my husband I can't anymore I'm really struggling and I need her there's something not right so I went to the doctors and he diagnosed me with postnatal depression and put me on a course of antidepressants advised that I should maybe try some counseling but the shame I felt of going to the doctors and the fear I felt that if I go to the doctors they're gonna take Ava away from me Oh God if anybody finds out I'm taking antidepressants I'm an imam and it should be the most magical time in my life but instead I'm relying on a a tail to make me cope what am I gonna do anybody find out like that and it was kind of few months after being diagnosed with post natal depression that I had my first psychotic episode and then Oh in a lot of cases I've read about with postpartum psychosis the moms have that have their babies and then they kind of psychotic psychotic episodes happen kind of quite quite naturally quite straightaway but we've meet a good seven to eight months and because I'd already we can diagnose he pays ITT pressure and I've been put on antidepressants in my mind I was trying to cope and kind of get over the illness we thought when I had this episode guys just one of those other awful side effects of youth illness that we're already dealing with we're already getting helpful we just need to kind of crack on and get through it and I think that is one of the most dangerous things about motherhood you know the last faxes that we think whenever we struggling we just have to crack on and get through it and not get the right hell yeah if I only I'd have known what maternal mental health was on the run up to through my pregnancy what postpartum psychosis was me and my husband would have been so much better prepared yeah I'd have got help quicker and I don't know about you but something that I even now I find difficult to kind of talk about that I look back over those first seven to eight months of having Ava and look at all those things I missed out on all those precious moments where I should have been really happy mom you know enjoying her to a full extent and instead they kind of shrouded in all this darkness and I will never get those times back and I think by not preparing mums for what could happen to their mental health after everyone having a baby we're doing a real disservice to women know because I've been diagnosed earlier those problems moment they either would have been that I'd last would have been a lot less and I'd had time to get better quicker and had the right help and support that I needed so that's one thing I would say to any mums who are watching it who if any of this resonates with you just please speak to somebody it's not your fault you've done nothing wrong to have this illness from those stats we're learning it's actually really common when you touched on you know you're looking back and you see those dark moments I completely agree my son is eight weeks and the difference of how I feel it's almost I look at as May with a slight sadness because I don't I never had this experience with you because you've seen now firsthand what you're missing out on the first one and that you kind of feel really grateful that it hasn't happened the second time but then also really sad and actually I see what you missed out on the first one around yeah so Charlotte is saying bear with me Charlotte I'm not a tech whiz this could be revised Charlotte is saying I felt like if I shared that I felt down during and after my pregnancy and that I was seeing a perinatal mental health nurse people would think I wasn't a good mom of that I wasn't capable and I totally agree with you there what do you think I totally agree that was one of the kind of the main readings behind me what kind of putting off my illness I don't want to talk to anybody was that I was going to be fear of being judged a fear of having ever taken away from me fear that fear that I wasn't maternal enough thought I wasn't a good enough mom and that really isn't the case because you know all mums out there amazing and mums who are battling with the mental health illnesses with the bravest women I've ever met and you know doing such a fantastic job just turning up every day being a mom and battling with their mind for the sake of their children and their family and I think they should all be applauded yeah so tell me I know that I had to really get a decent support system around me the issue being I found when you're dealing with mental health especially as a new mom I don't want to go to playgroups I don't want to speak to any other new mums I don't want to be around other women where I'm almost feeling like oh I'm I'm going to judge myself against how their parenting and I feel really rubbish but what did you use what was yours what system to get through that time first of all it was my husband he was he's my best friend and it sounds really cliche but he's my best friend and he was he was when you know I think when you kind of you backs against the wall you're off against something like a mental health illness and having the really be able to rely on your husband or your partner to help you through it it's just so incredibly important having somebody who you can talk to who you can have that first initial conversation with to say there's something that's not quite right I need help you need to be able to have that support system in place because once you've gone to the doctor's and you've got the medication you need all the counseling it's your partner who's at home who's on the frontline who if they're picking up the pieces at home who's caring for you probably caring for your newborn baby as well or any other children you have on the days that you don't feel well enough to do so and that is really really key and the ability to be able to talk to your closest friends and family so they understand that you know you're not not returning their calls on purpose it's because you're having a bad day and you need that help and ability to be able to talk with the people about it so I think that's really important no I completely agree you know I spoke about it the other day on Instagram I don't think partners male or female who are on the opposite end or when a mother is struggling with mental health and get enough surprise also because it's almost as if you know their life has to continue as normal and if anyone at home is doing the supporting feel free to comment below because we know how important that is so tell me about your life now where are you now well I can happily say that I am place ly totally well but anybody who's been through mental health illness or who's currently going through one is coming out the other side there are always those kind of scars that are left behind that you need to kind of maintain and kind of cope you keep yourself mentally healthy and well and it's giving me a really insight into what I need to do to keep my mind well I wrote a book about my experiences and I blog about it and say yeah I'm doing really well yeah I feel I feel more like me than I have done for a very long time so tell me about that every mum movement so the everyman movement was something high set up last year which is all about empowering every man to take care of their maternal mental health as importantly as their physical health and it's about us all being able to talk about all areas of motherhood no judgement about sharing stories and not being scared to say you know what I am struggling I do need a bit of help yeah and there is nothing wrong with that yeah I actually went to like a brunch yesterday or a couple days ago and you know it's full of all these mums but in your mind everyone's like really bossing it in their career well they look like they've go down a few memos is in everyone's like I don't know that no one knows what they're doing and it's so funny even in those situations you're like I feel so alone but once you start to talk it's really not the case no and I think that is the key thing that's one of the most important things I find with motherhood I'm with my you know maternal mental health illness that once I opened up and shared some of my deepest darkest thoughts and experiences the amount of people who got in touch saying me too I've been through that or I'm going through that and it was almost like there's this army of mums out there who were all in the same position and I just think that's such a powerful thing for a sort of tapping to and use as a support system and I think that is one of the kind of powerful things of social media is that we can all kind of connect on there but I think the definitely needs to be more of a push towards no not non-judgmental support and things like this today like chatting to you about you know so were the worst times of my life and thinking it's okay to share that with everybody it's so important see right and especially connecting like I said we are live connect with us I can see everything we want to interact with you but tell me about your book so my book is called bonkers which I think sums that motherhood perfectly to me anyway and it's basically based on yourself I tried all the parenting books going all the parenting magazines before having gave up then came out you decide and was hang on a second where'd all this other stuff that nobody's mentioned so it's a book that's a really positive book about powering women to talk about all hours of motherhood no judgment with a big focus on maternal mental health and constrain my experiences I always say it's got everything in there from post baby vaginas to postnatal depression everything in between so it's got suddenly for everybody yes the post baby underskirt now I'm gonna move on to this is one of my favorite parts parts the internet so I'm asking you guys at home as well homework if your work i know you're sneaking this on your phone so if you're dealing with something like postpartum psychosis or a mental health issue get them to a psychiatric facility right away and separate mom from baby during that assessment hmm it's funny because I I can remember a year after kind of coming out to the side of postpartum psychosis and it was had been undiagnosed and to that point I hadn't got a turn for it had got a name of the illness and I watched a video from one of the charities as I'm sharing her experiences and that's when I knew that's why that's what I've been suffering with postpartum psychosis and I went on to the NHS website and they said anyone any moment who goes through a psychotic episode come straight into A&E to get help straight away because it is classed as a severe mental illness why don't we warning moms about this just but I think separating mom's been paid a lot at the time they keep the majority the time they keep as long as it's not a danger to keep mom they want to keep mother and baby together do you ever remember a time where you think a situation was dangerous for you or as if you were outside your own body and for me so after the first episode my psychotic episode I was seeing demons flying around the home I hope them was I and I member phoning him and saying honey you need to come home and there's demons flying around the house and they're threatening to kill Ava and he was he comes on the other end of the phone and he just took time up into bed ten weeks ago and pop type sees friends he came home straight away and what on earth he's going gone I think well he's what I'm going through and I know it sounds crazy but this is what I've seen and that was the first episode but then that kind of developed month or so later into me seeing a dark stranger around the home so I'd walk into my living room on the nursery and he'd be kind of sat on the sofa breathing down my neck as I put over into her car threatening to harm me or harm Ava and all I all I knew was that I had to keep Ava safe no matter what happened now what chills me to the bone is that it was a very real situation for me to be and I believed I was seeing this dark demon sat on the sofa if that demon had been telling me things to harm myself I would have believed it yeah and and that is a dangerous situation this illness can you know can lead us into so we need to be really prepared and aware of it because the consequences otherwise I just yeah yeah and so when you when you talk about that I do while I did think that was a bit much I do understand why they might say separate mum for me yeah and I think I think it all depends on the circumstances the different situations maternal mental health illnesses manifests themselves differently with different people but we need to that's what we need to be talking about all experiences of maternal mental health raising awareness and not being scared of it it is a really scary topic but we can't be scared to talk about it we need to face it front on and get the help and raise awareness yeah the internet goes on to say the goal is to move both mother and baby into a safe situation and then evaluate the mother so she can receive the appropriate medical treatment yeah I know I do agree with that and that chills me to think that I should have been having that but instead I was at home because I had no awareness of the illness I was at home carrying on taking care of my newborn baby yeah when really I should have been getting help yeah the right medical help yeah and they were finally oh I think we got some questions coming in okay question okay hi nurturer hi mark how important do you think it is that weeks like mental health awareness week is for us especially parents I think it's incredibly important I think especially regarding Parenthood for both dads and the moms you know because up until remember I had a van it was never never think anything about mental health regarding Parenthood and becoming a parent he's one of the most amazing but also one of the most stressful times of their lives and as a mom you know your body goes through lots of changes but so does your mind as well and as a father so you know your whole perspective of the world changes so I think it's incredibly important that we talk about mental health around Parenthood for both moms and dads yeah I completely agree with Olivia for me as well it's just I'm so on about the father's getting the support they need because I know my partner briefly touched on especially with our first child Esme and me being sick he went into a really dark place but felt he had nowhere to express himself because of course all the spotlight is on me they've done the carrying or the pushing all the other tugging if you had a sunroof like me you've done the tugging and it's like where did they get a moment to say I'm struggling I can't do this yeah I know I need help not only like taking care of my wife but processing it and and and the changes that I've gone through because I know for my husband he felt like he lost his best friend yeah you know in the place that this woman who you feel really positive and like going was I was a shadow of my former self and he felt like he was living with a stranger because he was it wasn't me there it was the illness and as as a new father how do you process that and how do you then get the right help and think about you know do I say anything can I talk to my friends can I talk to her family about it do I talk to her friends what do I do and it's so important because as I said they the men are on the front line at home taking care of the whole family and because it's riding such secrecy within those four walls it can become quite toxic place and we need to be able to give really the father's out there the right help and support they need yeah for the whole family to come through it together I agree we've got a note from Heather she's saying thank you I suffered years ago unfortunately came through well not totally went on to have other mental health issues although listening to you about the psychosis has helped just hearing so thank you how important is to open up the conversation and not about not to be I don't want to seem like preachy but not to be ashamed of your own truth and your own stories and just share it and own it and I think that was one of the things that helped me kind of get through my illness I had it twice I had it after both of my baby girls and it we've got the turning point came I thought this illness has owned me for so many years now I think children been born I need to own it and I knew the face of fear and it was petrifying and it was the most terrifying thing I've ever gone through in my whole life but by owning it kind of gave me some kind of control back yeah and I kind of viewed the illness as a person that I needed to dislike to to defeat and get over and like anything once you own it it becomes less scary yeah you know once you stand up to it yeah you love that actually I have the power and you took your power back yeah and that is really so inspiring okay the last thing the internet is saying this should be treated as a medical emergency if not treated immediately you can get rapidly worse and could neglect or harm your baby or yourself yeah I think it doesn't need to be treated as a medical emergency you know nobody wants to be seeing demons flying around the home for threatening to kill there they've been thinking that's normal anybody who's going through any kind of psychotic episodes needs to get help immediately and get and we're also given the respect they deserve for getting through this illness and trying to get help it is a medical emergency no woman should have to live their life like it without the right help and support and I'm really passionate about that that we all need to be talking about these illnesses and getting the right help that we all deserve because the or deserve the right to enjoy motherhood yeah and these illness either taking that right away and it's just not on no I agree I completely agree now we're going to wrap up in a second guys it's been so brilliant interacting with you and I just hope that we've given someone comfort today yes because I eight weeks in I'm in the trenches and I know what it's like to have a crying baby in your ear and you yourself want to cry or are crying we totally understand that and with weeks like this week mental health health awareness and wasn't the prior week maternal manners how around athle yeah this is the perfect time for all of us to come together and speak openly about the issues that are affecting more men and women than we could ever think possible Olivia thank you so much for speaking to me openly guys continue this conversation and I'll see you soon

7 Replies to “Advice For Those With Post Partum Psychosis”

  1. I just wanted to thank you two beautiful people for sharing these things. It’s so important for everyone to understand and you guys have wonderful insights!

  2. What an important video! I've never had postpartum psychosis but my daughter is 2yrs old and I'm still struggling with postpartum depression. I'd heard of the 'baby blues' before giving birth but I was under the impression it was hormonal and something that would pass in a matter of weeks. Wouldn't it have been amazing if there was a class available during the pregnancy stage on how to look after yourself after birth?

  3. What if you don't have a partner what if you are all your chaild has you know there are a lot of single moms out there

  4. I had post partum psychosis in 2002. I was in two psych wards over the course of two months. Worst experience of my life. My boyfriend ended up taking the baby and now he doesn't even know I exist. I really wish there was more awareness of this and how serious it is.

  5. How common are mental health problems among parents? Just look up the statistic how common the various mental illnesses are in the general population. That's 1% lifetime prevalence for schizophrenia, a few percents for the personality disorders, how many women who were sexually abused as children end up having children themselves, then rather common mental problems like depression. Then substance abuse. How many % of the population have a drinking problem?

    Okay, some people already afflicted with a mental illness may be less prone to later be parents, for example people with active anorexia and some people get their mental illness only when the kids are grown up.

    But of course it's common that a child has one, or even two parents with diagnosable psychiatric conditions.

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