we have to go in and make sure everything cleared I think we have a winner if you guys won't play a guessing game at some point are we gonna go back into the adoption world so my doctor messaged me and said and we went in faith and started buying baby stuff good morning you guys we are back in the parking lot of a very familiar place these familiar clinics we have to go in and make sure everything cleared and that's that's that a feeling I feel okay they do they had a few days off of logging we've had a few days off of kind of just processing and yeah and just having the alone time of getting together and I feel we feel rested do you feel rested yeah I would say going off all those meds I can't even express how much energy I have I feel back to myself I feel happier again I don't feel tired anymore I like don't need to sit down I'm just like running all day and I love it so that part I'm really enjoying but but there's a lot of people that do IVF and that it's not as difficult is the journey that we've been on and I think we have a very rare case and I think we've a very specific case and I think that's what we need to remember and that's what you guys need to know is that infertility is like a case-by-case basis when I think we're in the middle of the grant I think we're in the middle of the road like some people have a much longer more difficult journey than we do and then some people they do IVF and they get pregnant their first time and then they do it again and they get pregnant again and that's just kind of how it is and that's I mean I think that was the hope for us we were like oh my gosh like my eyes didn't work and regular didn't work and all that stuff yeah for sure I just thought who's just gonna work and it hasn't but you know what I love her and I'm so grateful for her and this journey has challenged us and this journey has left us better mm-hmm I'd say I'd say so we've learned a lot we've grown a lot but we got to go inside now all right hey friends so Phil and Alex have gone to the doctor so we get to hang out with Kinsley and Callie this morning and Kingsland Callie are starting the morning off by playing some piano they're gonna be musical geniuses by the time this morning is done this is piano lesson number one so let's see where we're gonna start we can choose between A Tale of Two Cities probably not the last five years probably not Beauty and the Beast I think we have a winner piano lessons didn't quite go as well but that's okay and now we made juice I put way too much ginger in and it's very spicy so the girls luckily have their own juice yes we're gonna meet her that too so the universe is totally clean see that it's like no it's like totally good there's a little bit of blood there but this is Tim Phang check you know so we're good from that standpoint how are you thinking either we're gonna get away we're gonna focus on other people this summer we are at the park now we are doing some swing action and Philip and Alex will be here momentarily it's a new day it's a happy day we're gonna play hooray all right you guys we just got the girls from Jason Alicia and they are sitting in the car with Daddy so I am going into the consignment shop but do you guys a guessing game so have these two bags full of clothes these are all things that Cali grew out of and I'm not in love with them so much that I want to keep them for future babies so let's take a guess they will give me a cash price at how much they would give me for cash or store credit and I usually take a store credit because my kids are still growing and I still need to buy them clothes okay they took way less items than they thought a lot of our clothes were in really good condition but I'm a little bummed they changed owners and the store looks different and but hopefully it will all be the same but I was a little bit in a little culture shock when I first went in there but these are the bags that I left over so this one's like almost full and then you know they took a little a few things okay who guessed so they offered me $17 and change of cash or $22 and change of store credit I'm happy with that I took some store credit and then I got Kenzie a couple cute little things she got this little shirt first summer I was on the clearance rack so this was two dollars from Old Navy and I think I was eyeing this actually last year to buy for her like full price and then I got this cute little like denim dress with a cute little zipper up the back and it's gap I spent a little bit more I spent $7.99 on it but it's gap and it's like really like good condition so I know it'll hold up through kinsley and through Callie okay you guys do you like how I haven't put on makeup in days I kind of like it actually mostly like running out of the house but sometimes I would like to have a little bit of something on my face and my eyes I am just getting the chiropractor I haven't been in almost three months I've just been having fill up kind of pull on my neck which isn't good so I'm trying to go like get adjusted again and be in a good spot so just a recap of this morning's ultrasound she said I looked all clear that was what the ultrasound was for to make sure there was nothing left over from the miscarriage they just need to make sure that you got everything out and I did they're gonna check my HCG level just to make sure that I dropped fast enough and I'm not like lingering I think that also helps you know if you everything out I believe anyways they're just tucking my hormones they did the ultrasound so it wasn't until I left that I felt I'm just reminded that we are always going to be a couple that struggles with infertility it even if when you're done having kids like if you went through that season of infertility like that's still part of you that's still a season you went through and I'm just sad that I'm still in this question mark I'm still in the weight it's hard because I have friends that are there done waiting and they are pregnant now and it's just a reminder of where we're at I'm not that sad and I'm very thankful that I'm that I've been doing okay I'm just kind of disappointed that this is like the season we're in right now I liked having my girls close together in age it was so fun and we dream of having a bigger family and what I like to experience pregnancy yes that would be a fun thing to experience in life is it the end-all be-all for me personally no I just am obsessed with adoption I love my girls I love just growing our family but adoption definitely has a lot of emotional roller coasters as well and so infertility and adoption are both difficult journeys are difficult roads and you just have to kind of go with your heart and feel you know what is my heart ready for right now what season of life am I going to be in right now and we're comfortable being in the infertility journey at some point are we going to go back into the adoption world absolutely there's not even a question in my mind we will definitely be adopting again um how soon I don't know but right now I'm just bummed that it's been almost a year since we did our first transfer we did our first transfer last summer and we would have a baby right now if that first transferred worked which is crazy so we're just still in the wait period and that's okay but I want to tell you for those of you who are in the wait period and you're like oh boy this is a bummer yeah it is it is a bummer but my biggest encouragement is trying to focus on like the good happy things going on in life it's simple as like I came up with a really good meal for dinner tonight you know just those little things really help and that's what I'm gonna be focusing on this summer and I'm just excited for the little things I'm excited for the sunshine I'm excited to be outside and play and hike and I'm just excited for that it doesn't change the bummer side of not being pregnant and it's not working but life is still good there's still positive things like having a beat on my windshield he is like right there baby yes I am in a wealthy with monkey beep I bought this for Phillip but it was a little touch too small and he doesn't like to be warm and I'm always cold so now it's my so my doctor messaged me and said that my HCG level dropped down to five so she said I am all clear it was a good day it was definitely like a bookend to the last three months Philip and I were just talking tonight and we're just bummed because we'd love to have a bigger family and we just don't know when and if that will happen we also were talking about we were totally happy with having our two girls but I think in the long run we definitely desire to have a bigger family so let's have to wait and see how that happens well we're gonna try to go to bed now kind of early because tomorrow we're gonna wake up nice and early and go to the garage sale of entire city or town in our area the entire area puts on a garage sale so every house that wants to put it on a garage sale they do it that day and it is crazy we went three years ago we were entering the adoption world and we went in faith and started buying baby stuff even before we knew kinsley being excited that yes we haven't gotten pregnant yes we are never like it felt like we were never gonna have kids to all of a sudden oh my gosh like we're starting the adoption process like we're gonna have a baby like we thought it was gonna be like a year not just a few weeks but we did that garage sale in faith and this is the same garage so we got all of our decorations for our wedding there's something about getting a deal that makes me like an item even better so tomorrow we are going to the garage sale and we're very excited to see all the fun things that we're gonna get well I hope you guys had a good day and like always you guys go let your love multiply good night

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