I lose my breath whenever I see you you stole my heart what is it that you do life was great till you added colors money system we don't care about the others good morning everybody today's Tuesday June 18th yesterday they called Jared's phone they said that our twin boys ashes are ready to be bagged out so I thought I would document this day and just um yeah just have that for us um yeah so today we are gonna go pick up the rushes and bring them home so we we are now on our way to pick up our boys ashes and feeling a lot of emotions I'm feeling really anxious really my palms are really sweaty are you yeah anxiety well I think I'm ready but it's just I guess it just because it's like now I expected to bring rain that's how I ain't kind of feels weird we held their little bodies we need a border those plaques though we just pulled up to the funeral home it's under Jarrod's name so he'll be the one going in there feeling a lot of anxiety right now my stomach is in knots No what did they make me do I just had a sign disagree and I said that they got certificates and I think because they're done they're said that Thursday so they basically came boxes I can show you you look what they look like on the inside we've got little labels here that's tayden Hayden learn Alexander Glenn you were cremated on the 11 you need to show the little boy the box looks like there are they and then it has a label but we're gonna get plaque speed for them I'm not sure yeah because I see if it has the bear here then we could do a clock of the top of their names but they are labeled it just this just feels like surreal right now you could feel like this is not this is I don't know I thought I was gonna feel like like closure it's just weird really like thought this was gonna be like the end like where I just feel tight beautiful baby just got cookies all over this I'm what gave me those cookie oh my goodness you're mad joy back down we put the smile on that thing package definitely bus nice country the way you talked about taking a long time to take him on a plane like that's what you could need to touch each other but you'd have to check it in at TSA that actually I guess that's just something I didn't go in there I just wanna know what did you send anybody to my friend so what happened the scene and she death certificates so like he said they couldn't wrap cause he went in there GSA No and those situations they buy the death certificate but I wanted to did you feel when they brought whoever came to you did they have the boxes so we just got home and we have our boys urns and we're gonna find a place for them here at home and we're thinking in our loft because that's where we spend the most time I think yeah it's a little more intimate up there possessed yeah like we don't really come downstairs not much yes and company everyone usually stays downstairs and upstairs just family yeah we have these shelves and just over the couch and I think that's all gonna ring you see how it looks yeah so this is where we spend most of our time here in this loft just on when we relax or whatever watch TV and these are the shelves are talking about I'm thinking that one word I'm thinking to her thought that one too these are just as jarred things stuffy likes to I guess collect together right I was thinking together cuz we can keep them together like they always were who is that and these urns were free due to Jalen's gift foundation so we appreciate that so much alexander's on the left and aydin's on the right do you feel better when we first got them I like I said I thought I was gonna feel like some closure or something but I don't know if I was like all the emotions that we're running through my body my mind or whatever no just kind of feel a little bit of peace but they're here now and that journeys over and they'll always be with us comes to mine just grab your home can you do it took a long time almost a month it took a long time yeah so like 34 weeks 3 3 weeks right yeah these three weeks it took three weeks so if you have been following us you know you know we started in May 22nd and then yeah so we'll just end the video here thanks for watching um and we'll see you in our next video

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