COPING WITH MY BIRTH – 2 Weeks Postpartum

hey guys and welcome to my two-week post partum update um if you're wondering where my birth story video is I have kind of a funny story for you I'm not sure if it's funny but I actually filmed it and I was editing it and I was just like this is all wrong I'm definitely still processing the birth of Finley both emotionally and physically but definitely emotionally trying to figure out if the decisions I made were correct and so when I was filming the video I really you know talked a lot about you know what happened and I kind of talked about how I was feeling but in the end I was like I'm just telling you what happened but there's so much going on in my mind and so many thoughts that are jumbled up over the process and everything that happened that I wasn't happy with how it turned out and I I realized that I didn't think I was actually ready to tell the story because I'm fairly ready to tell myself the story um I'm definitely just a lot of things happened a lot of things that we didn't actually even fought about to that um I just I don't know I I get really emotional when I think about it if I made the right decisions if and I just I'm not sure if I'm ready for people to tell me that I made the wrong decisions I'm just not sure if I've completely come to grips with everything that happened I don't know I definitely wanted to do a two-week postpartum to talk about how I'm feeling at this moment but I'm not sure again that I'm quite ready to talk about what happened at the birth as far as how I'm doing it two weeks I am so blissfully happy I have a beautiful baby boy I have a beautiful toddler baby boy and that I am just beyond happy my home is calm and sweet and just really really beautiful right now I'm loving life of being you know a mom of two I think we've adapted really really well with it I'm definitely still figuring out ways to you know both bond with Finn and Olli at the same but I'm loving it you know I feel like I am able to do that I was so worried throughout the entire pregnancy with Finn that you know I was gonna lose my bond with Olli or that you know I I wouldn't be able to take care of all a the way I usually take care of Olli and that hasn't been the case at all I've been able to very easily you know take care of Finn and Olli and it's just been really really beautiful I feel like gosh why was I so worried about taking care of two kids we have two parents in this home that are home basically together all day every day and if I'm not taking care of Finn then I can take care of Holly and if I'm not taking her Ollie then Bryan can take care of all this just it's been really really really nice and a super easy transition I talked a little bit about the calmness in the house and it's funny because with ollie me and Brian always look back at his first few days home and his first few months home really and being like it was just so calm and peaceful I think it's because it seems like whenever I have a baby there's like this calmness or this like sort of like a cloud that comes over me that it's so focused on taking care of my babies that I'm actually so scared that I'll become overwhelmed and stressed then I do the opposite I completely like look like just like downgrade all of my emotions and calm down so much that it kind of just brings a nice calmness to the house and it's really then it's really nice and we kind of been able to capture it again with Finn of course it's more difficult when you have a two-year-old because it's not as calm when you're just having a newborn because you're usually like holiday stop or stop doing that or stop grinding over there doing this but it's actually been really nice and we've definitely been able to capture just a part of that really nice columnist that happens when you have a new port so yeah like I said emotionally I'm actually doing really really good I am happy and all that I think I'm just still you know every once awhile I think about the birth and I'm just like what happened it happened so fast and I think I just need a little bit more time to really talk about it with you know the people that you know care about me and my family and stuff to really decide how I truly feel about the birth and if I'm happy with the outcome and I think there's a part of me that isn't happy with the outcome but at the same time I know that it was somewhat necessary but was it necessary because of the decisions I made and so I don't know you know I talked about everyone small with Brian and I get really emotional and I I start to cry and I think in a way I didn't want to just tell you the story I wanted you guys to feel how I was feeling and I'm not able to even explain or express how I am feeling as far as how I'm healing from this c-section I actually think I've been healing really really well I'm two weeks out and I have definitely been going going going I haven't really slowed down a ton I I feel like I'm doing pretty good I think I'm just the type of person that can't just lay there I need to get up and moving in order to heal I only had to take a Tylenol and ibuprofen for about five days I think I stopped on Thursday after I had him I only had to take maybe like three of the narcotic type of medication but I really felt uncomfortable taking it just because I am breastfeeding although it is said to be safe while breastfeeding I just didn't want to take it a lot so it only took it like a few times um but I haven't taken any kind of Tylenol or ibuprofen in quite a long time over a week and I feel great I do have some little bit of slight pain on my incision that sometimes will tend to be a little bit worse maybe and maybe on the days that I maybe push myself a little too far and some days I have no pain whatsoever so I think I am still healing especially on the incision I still do have my stitches and the little tape that goes on there so I'll kind of I might actually show it to you if I can get a good shot it's a little gnarly so just a fair warning but you know I think I I'm healing really nicely for only being two weeks out and I definitely for even have been a week out I think I was doing pretty good as far as how breastfeeding has been going it has been going it's so so so beautifully I am very happy with breastfeeding and I usually am I think that my my prayer is always that you know I may not have the easiest pregnancies or the easier easiest burst but if I could just breastfeed my babies that would just be the best and that is actually um definitely what's happened Finn is a very very good breast feeder and I think my my boobs are just really good as well I definitely don't ever get any chasing or um like the bleeding or anything like that um I don't know why I always expect it like okay come on I can't be that lucky but for some reason I definitely don't have any of that of course I get the engorgement which is definitely uncomfortable and a little bit of that like bruising feeling just because they're so big and they kind of like get big and small so much that it kind of tends to hurt around but other than that honestly I think I've already started to adjust to his what he needs for his milk so I haven't even been engorged that much these days and so I'm really happy about that and Finn is a very very good breast feeder so that is really nice all right I'm gonna quickly try and show you my incision again this might be a little gross so just skip ahead if you don't want to see it all right so I'm going to show you my belly so far I am wearing maternity pants because my incision is so low any kind of pants that touch it does kind of hurt all right so here's my belly two weeks postpartum still definitely got a little flub there as far as the stretch marks I think there's very bad I've definitely had a few stretch marks there and I'm not that worried about them all right here is my incision it is definitely hard to tell because I have the these strips on them still they haven't fallen off and I'm just supposed to let them naturally fall off but it's definitely looking good not too bad no bleeding or anything like that so that's good all right guys I hope you enjoyed this two-week update let me know if you did and I will let you know when I am ready to you know refill my birth story and hopefully tell you guys a little bit more of what happened on that day give this video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it and I will see you guys in my next video bye because I do not like giving him medicine as far as Finn's little features he is such a cute little baby he has brown hair it's very light I'm guessing it'll end up probably falling out and my guess is that it will turn blond just like Olli he does have a stork bite type of mark on his forehead right between his eyes it could also be considered a angel bite or

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