Dealing With The Pain of Childbirth!



hello everyone welcome to my channel welcome back if you've been here before and welcome to my channel if you are new probably the most frequently asked questions that I receive as a youtuber are about my unmedicated birth experience and the only reason that I have not answered all of those questions for you guys is simply because I have been planning on doing this video for a long time so this will probably end up being a two-part video I want to first share with you some of the tips that I personally used in my birth experience to go unmedicated and then my second video is gonna be more of a Q&A to answer some of those questions that y'all have been asking me to start off I do want to say that my first two children were born with an epidural this my third birthing experience was my only first and only experience delivering without the epidural I can link my video probably I can link my video where I explain to my actual labor and delivery experience with you guys and that gives more of an insight as to my comparison between my epidural birth experience and my non epidural birth experience I decided to wear my making magic shirt for this video because that is exactly what you are doing as a mother right now whether you are planning to give first unmedicated or medicated c-section vaginally whatever you are personally deciding as a mom you are making magic in your body and that is a hunch percent the mindset that you need to have going into your labor and delivery experience I am a huge believer in karma and I'm a huge believer that you get what you put out into the world and that especially goes with your labor and delivery experience if you are going into this experience with a negative mindset fearful and focusing a hundred percent on horror stories that you have heard of other labor and delivery experiences that have gone awry then there's a very good chance that that is the kind of is that you are going to end up with if you go into your experience the mindset that you are making a beautiful child that your body knows what it's doing and that you are capable and strong enough to deliver this perfect beautiful being into the world then there's a very good chance that you're going to have a perfect beautiful birth experience and that is the very first thing that I really focused on with my experience and that really helps me get into the right mindset of bringing a baby into the world so I do have all these tips on my phone right here if you see me looking down it's because I'm looking down at my list of things I really didn't want to forget anything in this video and I have been working on this list for a really long time the very first point that I want to make besides the mindset point that I already made so I guess the second point is that you need to find a provider that supports your decision to give birth unmedicated you don't necessarily have to have a midwife I personally went with the Midwife because they were a hundred percent supportive of what I wanted from my birth experience but if you personally would feel more comfortable with an OB or a doctor as your health care provider then you need to clearly express your wants from the beginning and make sure that they are on board with you and they are encouraging of your decision because if you are surrounding yourself with people that are discouraging of what you want then there's a very good chance that you will not get what you want which leads me into my next point which is that you need to make sure that you have a good support system that is encouraging of your decision whether that be your significant other your mom and dad your doula your doctor or Midwife just some kind of support person or people that will be encouraging of you throughout your throughout your pregnancy and throughout your labor and delivery and I found that it was very helpful to communicate my wants and needs way ahead of time and just get all of those ducks in a row before the time comes if you have communicated what you want and what you need for your labor and delivery there's a very a chance that those people are going to do what they can for you to make sure that that happens for you oh this Henley wants to join us for this video and that is a-okay with me another good tip is to take a birthing class I highly highly recommend to take a birthing class whether this is your first second or third fourth fifth born child I personally did not take a birthing class until my third child and I know that I didn't have unmedicated childbirth with my first two but even though I had chosen to have an epidural from the very beginning with my first two I still would have highly benefited benefit benefitted would have been a good choice for me to take a birthing class with my first two and they do have birthing classes for low income families we personally are a low income family and we found a birthing class that was just perfect for us so you don't have to have a million dollars to hire a doula and a midwife and have an unmedicated childbirth and take a birthing class you can be low income and still make these decisions for yourself and your family my next tip is to hire a doula I did have a good support system not only are my parents on board with my decision to give birth without an epidural my husband was also on board with my decision and my health care provider was as well at the same time I still feel like hiring a doula was an amazing decision for me to make because my doula had a lot more insight as to things that I would possibly want or need in order to accomplish my goal and these are tips that I wouldn't have been able to get from my husband that I wouldn't have been able to get from my parents and it was just a completely fresh perspective on what it is that I wanted things that I didn't even know that I wanted and I definitely highly recommend hiring a doula another thing that I did was write up or type up my birth plan I had a lot of specifics for my birth plan this time around the first two times choosing to have an epidural was pretty much my only expectation for childbirth I just wanted to make it to the hospital in time and I wanted to have my epidural on time that was it I did not really have a birth plan this time around choosing to go in unmedicated I definitely had a lot of specifics and a lot of things that I wanted or felt like I needed in order to be successful and having an unmedicated birth and having those things written out and typed out and communicated with my midwife and my doula and my husband and being able to hand that sheet of paper to the nurses when I got there made everything so much smoother and I didn't have to answer a bunch of questions I didn't have to stop anybody from doing anything that I wasn't comfortable with it was just a huge relief having that there for me long with having my birth plan written out and typed up for everybody I also pre registered at my hospital not everybody will get this opportunity because some people obviously go into labor a lot sooner than they expect to and in that case you will not be able to pre-register but I personally went into labor at 39 weeks and having given birth at 38 weeks my first time around I was registered at the hospital before 38 weeks and that made my entrance to the hospital a lot smoother they already had all of my information and entered into the system and I was able to get in and get a room pretty quickly another big tip and this is honestly one of my biggest tips if you listen to absolutely nothing else on this video listen to this and it is that you should watch other YouTube videos exactly like this one don't just watch my video go watch thousands of other women who have made videos on the tips that have helped them get through childbirth unmedicated because that's what I did I stayed up late some nights just watching videos trying to figure out what worked for some people what didn't work for other people and just trying to incorporate them into my relaxation techniques and get my mindset right and that helps me tremendously and if like I said if I had done nothing else on this list if I had just watched those videos that would have helped me a million times over so watch youtube videos something that I learned in my birthing class along with watching other YouTube videos is that I needed to learn the relaxation techniques that worked for me there are so many relaxation techniques out there and not every single one of them is going to work for you so it's really good to expose yourself to a lot of what those techniques are and trying to figure out what actually makes you relaxed don't wait until you have gone into labor and you're started having contractions to start testing out relaxation techniques if you are having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions that is a perfect time to sit there and try to relax and breathe through your contractions and work on those different techniques and see what really really helps you get through that Brexton Hicks contraction now your Braxton Hicks contraction is probably nothing like the real thing but if you can kind of get your brain in the right perspective that doesn't make sense but if you can try to wrap your brain around what makes you relaxed in the moment whenever your body is tensing up and whenever you're in a lot of pain then whenever the time comes to actually breathe through that contraction and get through that contraction you're gonna know exactly what works for you and you're gonna be able to help yourself in the very best way when the hundreds of people around you are trying to help you can't help you then you'll be able to help yourself and you'll know exactly what your body needs I made a list of all of the relaxation tips that personally worked for me assuring ocean waves as waves of pain every contraction I pictured a ocean wave oh you don't like that it was the scariest part for me too sweetie I pictured a ocean wave coming in peaking and then going down that really helps put into perspective for me that the contraction was only temporary and whenever my wave Pete was the worst of the pain and from there I could picture my way of just kind of dissipating and rolling over the stand and just going away embracing each contraction I know that that sounds completely crazy and that is something that I saw on pretty much every video that I ever watched that is something that I heard a million times in my birthing class and that is not something that is really easy to wrap your head around us contractions are no joke contractions are extremely painful but if you try to tense up and if you try to shy away from the contraction you're gonna make it a thousand times worse your body knows exactly what it's doing the contractions gonna happen anyway so if you just embrace the pain and just let your body ride that wave of pain then it's gonna come and go so much easier then if you try to shy away from it imagining that my body is doing what it has to do to get my baby out and trusting my body if I picture my labor and delivery as something to be afraid of something that I don't want to do something that is scary then that's exactly what it's going to be if you go in with the knowledge that your body knows what it's doing and that it's going to get your baby out healthily that is the word and safely then that's exactly what's going to happen another tip that I learned and this I heard from a lot of different people and it wasn't really easy for me to imagine until I was actually time to imagine it and I was opening I guess I imagined that my body was opening up like a flower to release my baby that may vagina is a flower and it is blooming to release a beautiful baby there were moments in the midst of giving birth that I felt sort of like my body is being ripped apart okay I mean it is painful despite all of these tips and relaxation techniques it is a lot of pain but I tried to imagine like I said that my body is a flower and it is opening and that my baby is gonna be at the center and it kind of gets my brain back into the perspective but this is magical and this is beautiful and that I am doing something incredible that my body is amazing because our bodies really are amazing and it's like I said if you picture that you are doing something incredible then you will be able to do something absolutely incredible another thing that you need to do is you need to really utilize those moments in between contractions to get your head back in the game when you're going through a contraction there are times where you're probably going to be thinking that you can't do it that it's really really painful but if you kind of scratch that way of thinking and think more that the contraction is temporary and then it always ends and then you have some moments in between the next contraction you need to revel in those moments I am so serious use those moments to prepare yourself for the next contraction and don't sit there and count contractions don't sit there and think about how many contractions you've already been through and how many contractions you're about to go through just get your head back in the game find your peace and get back into a more relaxed state that can gear you up for the next contraction I guess just utilize those moments in between contractions that's what I'm trying to say and you'll probably know exactly what I'm talking about when the time comes another thing that I did this time around is I made myself a labor and delivery playlist this is another thing that might be a good idea for some maybe not for others for me personally I made a playlist of all of the songs that helped me relax all of the songs that put me in a happy place so that whenever I am in my least happy place in the world dealing with this pain I am listening to that music and it's somewhat helping to redirect that frame of mind another thing that really helps especially if you're choosing to opt out of getting an epidural is to labor at home as long as possible don't just rush to the hospital as soon as you start having contractions because there's a good chance that you will be laboring in a hospital setting for a really long time try to stay where you were the most comfortable and if you are the most comfortable in a hospital setting then that's great rush to the hospital I personally am NOT the most comfortable in a hospital setting and it really really helped me to be at home for the majority of the beginning parts of my labor then it was to be checked on every five minutes by nurses and midwives and being strapped up to things and there's just a lot of pressure I feel like once you get to the hospital and there's a lot less pressure when you're at home this next thing is absolutely huge at least it was for me and this is something that I had absolutely never heard of until I started researching unmedicated childbirth and that is the fetal ejection reflex I am no scientist and I'm not a doctor I'm not a midwife so I'm going to attempt to explain this the very best that I can but if you really want to understand it I suggest doing research on this because this is something that really really helped me when I was about to push but basically your body is made to get this baby out your body isn't trying to hold the baby in when your body is officially ready to push the baby out your body is going to start pushing on its own so a lot of women like to get checked regularly for dilation and usually they say once you're 10 centimeters dilated it's time to go for me personally my body's started pushing the baby out involuntarily at nine and a half centimetres dilated and I am telling you I was not trying to push my body was doing it on its own and it is a really crazy feeling but I feel like if I had started trying to push not that I would have because I was nine and a half centimeters dilated but if I had started trying to push the baby out before the fetal ejection reflex it would have been a thousand times harder and probably a lot more painful with a lot greater risk of intervention than it was when my body was already trying to push the baby out on its own when you've been in labor for a really long time and your body is exhausted it is so helpful that your body actually does know what it's doing and it's going to try to push that baby out on its own a fuse lavender essential oil if you have a diffuser or if you know someone who will let you borrow diffuser diffuse lavender oil because that helps you relax and if you're a non-believer in essential oils and obviously scratch this point but I don't know why you're even trying to do this without essential oils it helps me so so much to just relax staying upright bouncing on a birthing ball walking squatting anything that kind of keeps you upright like your baby is trying to come down out of you if you are laying down a lot then you're laying horizontally and your baby can't come out as easily as if you are squatting or walking or you know in the right position for your baby to come down and out so I know that for me there was a point in time where I just wanted to lay down like I was in so much pain and it was getting really overwhelming and my body had been doing so much work for such a long period of time and I wanted to lay down and I did lay down but let me tell you that intensified the pain so much and it didn't last very long before I got right back up and then my baby was pretty much born within the next ten minutes of that so if you are in the right position for your baby to come down and out then you know that you're definitely helping your body along and you're helping your baby along try to keep yourself and your mind occupied as much as possible and for me having conversation in between contractions really really helps trying to not so much to focus on each contraction and the contractions that you have to look forward to and whatever pain you're going through at that particular moment in time anything that can distract you while you still feel capable of being distracted I have seen a lot of videos of women who like to dance through their labor and they have babies in like three hours or something like that that is something that I personally couldn't do however if you can do something like that I think that is fantastic not only does it keep your mind occupied but it keeps you upright it keeps you moving and you are basically working your baby out of you the very last thing that I have on my list is to breathe and I don't know why that's the last thing on my list it probably should be number one on my list but it's just the thing that I wanted to close with just be sure that you are breathing through your contractions breathe slowly if counting your breaths is something that helps keep your mind occupied and away from the pain then counting your breaths is a good thing because then you're making sure that you are breathing and once again you're occupying your mind you're keeping distracted from the pain that you're going through if you hold your breath and you tense up throughout your contraction then it's gonna be a hard time you're gonna have a bad time it's not gonna feel very good and it doesn't feel very good but it's gonna feel a thousand times worse if you're tensing up and if you're shying away from the pain and I believe that is all the tips and tricks that I have for you guys once again those are the things that worked for me some of those may not work for you and that's totally fine but like I said go watch other videos I will look for some of the videos that I watched I don't know if I can be if I'm able to find every single one of them for you guys because I watched a lot of videos on this but I will link some of the videos that helped me down below that if this video wasn't very helpful for you hopefully one of those videos down there can be a little bit more helpful for you Wow repetitive much thanks for watching this video guys I really hope that this helps you get in the right mindset to have your baby unmedicated if it did please give it a big thumbs up and I will be sure to make more videos like this for you guys and stay tuned for my part 2 of this video series where I answer some of the questions the many many questions that I have been asked on unmedicated childbirth thanks for watching bye guys

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