Doug Stanhope – The Fetus Photo

I got this anti-abortion flier that they were sticking them under everyone's a windshield wiper in the parking lot of this place in Texas and it had a picture of a dead fetus on the front you know how them the pro-life folk are so fond of the dead fetus photo they get a picture of an aborted fetus and they run home and they blow it up large on a placard and they bring it down to their protest rally and they shove it in your face at 9:30 in the morning what abortion does right there don't you turn away I just go to the ATM I'm not going in this place and you clear the sidewalk lady I'm all over whatever it is barb anyway okay they do that the idea is that that picture is supposed to be so disturbing and so disgusting that it will single-handedly change your whole view of the abortion issue as as though live childbirth were really pretty to look at when that living monsters actually you're ripping out of you it's all covered in blood and mucus it spewed him flying everywhere fuck it they screaming at your fuckin scream everybody's screaming your husband's vomiting through a surgical mask while trying to maintain a comforting eye contact now you're smashing asshole have all been torn into one big open septic manhole aah get that away oh yeah you put a picture of that under my windshield wiper I'll frame it and put it over the piano as it's adorable a little sweetheart but this little peaceful freeze-dried aborted fella playing all night time on a comfy pillow next to a ruler he's this rustic Oh same be back like I said I've had an abortion I've been party to an abortion so and we don't know what became of it when we had an abortion we just shuffled out the front door we didn't tang its ear or keep in touch track it on a GPS since the lunar penpals no and fucking laugh so if I see a picture of an aborted fetus there's a party and it's got to wonder a little bit see anything like a dog a little bit I think he's got my scowl if you've had an abortion it really makes the whole idea the whole concept of heaven a lot more disconcerting if you've had an abort as a rational or illogical as that idea is it still it's depressing to think about if there were a heaven and that you fought through the white light and get up to the pearly gates that'd be the first dead relative waiting for you they're all angry and pinched face oh look who's here oh yeah yeah ticket I didn't you look like you were having a lot of fun down there you know make some pictures of me take some pictures of it taking it to a ruler for fighting would you know my name [Applause] so I get the flyer got the dead fetus on the front on the back of the thing it's got the whole pro-life propaganda screed at the bottom the guy who prints these things for a living for fun or profit or whatever his motivation is he puts his name and phone number at the bottom in case you want to order more and I'm drunk with a bone and the guy answers his phone it's not even it's not even a business as no that's a dude and rural Wisconsin and his phone in the bedroom and I want to fuck with him but I want to be original you don't want to just be drunk and trying to throw logic at this problem which is going to waste cellphone minutes that's like trying to kick water uphill you ain't gonna win so what I did as I came at him and I attacked him from the more conservative angle where I accused him of being the worst type of child pornographer on this planet I can't believe what I'm looking at third this is the child in his photograph that's not a choice that's a child and for you to distribute photographs of naked children around my neighborhood they're attracting the most devious type of child predator on this planet right now preterm necrophiliac child molesters are masturbating like frenzied Apes and pages to your heavy work sir don't you just it to me you knew what you were doing you could have photoshopped a bikini onto that little baby you could have airbrushed a tasteful one-piece but you chose not to cuz this is how you get your rocks up and I hope you burn it you

44 Replies to “Doug Stanhope – The Fetus Photo”

  1. Here's how you screw over those ignorant people of religion and lawyers in your family and IRS all in one swoop. If or when you have an inheritance coming your way and you're the only Male in your family brought up in a catholic house hold and have one sister married to a Zionist Jew with 2 test tube babies aka went through in vitro and the other who calls herself Roman catholic andf is a lawyer and member of the BAR association in Massachusetts for 20+years this is what you do. You charge your parents estate for whatever it's worth for VICTIM COMPENSATION for 4 things…1) you claim you're a victim of ASSAULT ordered by your parents or possibly performed by your parents. 2) you claim to be a victim of GENITAL MUTILATION when they performed some archaic religious ritual on you and not your sister's. So a life time of deformity, loss of flesh, loss of nerve endings and feeling. Claim you'll never know what it would have been like and felt liketo have foreskin. 3) Your a victim of violation of your first amendment right. Your parents violated your free of and from religion when you couldn't even speak or defend yourself, how evil and wicked is that to attack and assault a defenceless infant. 4) Claim you're a victim of the violation of your right to have separation of church and state. The state/ government puts laws into effect to protect people and failed me whenI could not speak and defend myrself. Now since you were already squeezed out and no longer attached to your mother you are considered a living human in the eyes of the law and granted all the same rights and privileges that everybody else has regardless of age.
    So you see I'll beat my oldest sister at her own game since she is a lawyer and used the corrupt system she's been holding plus being Roman catholic who lost her son in a custody battle with her ex who's a trust fund baby who gets 1.4 mil a year from a trust fund. I'll beat my middle sister who married a Zionist Jew and who not just abandon her biological family after our father died to go through the unnatural process in vitro because the Zionists have to get their numbers up and she also lead me to believe that the paper work to finalize our father's estate was all filed for four years until I found out it wasn't not true when I agreed to add the lawyer of the family as co-administrator of the estate, so I beat the jew at their own game since they're the ones who want circumcisions to be legal meanwhile it's actually assault and geneticall mutilation and beat the shyster at their own game. And lastly how do I beat the IRS at the same time…. victim compensation is TAX FREE!!!! Hey women want equal rights I'm not as evil and wicked as to demand their clitoris and labias to be sliced off because that's not an atheist thought that's a religious thought. And they wanted to play ther victim and create this "me too generation" men can play that game to. That's how a Male atheist and antitheist shows that just because you have a decent IQ level doesn't mean you're not still weak minded. Moral of the story…. don't mess with an atheist with an IQ in the brilliant range who was a professional/ world class athlete for 20+years of a individualized sport where there's no coaching allowed so you have to figure out your opponents weakness and exploit it because that's how you win in most things you don't play your strength to win you find your opponents weakness and exploit it. After over a decade to finalize my father's estate court date on the 31 st let's see how my legal strategy turns out.
    If need be I have no problem whipping it out and slapping on the table as evidence even through that might be considered contempt of court.

  2. I just used this argument in discussion with a guy who placed a photo of dead fetus as anti-abortion argument.
    Thanks Doug

  3. Not exactly. He had his own experience of the abortion someone close to him had. It isn't correct to say that he 'had an abortion'. If his partner had had heart surgery he would also have his own experience of what he felt about it, but you wouldn't say he had surgery.

  4. I know physically that is correct, however he did experience it with her. While my abortion was just from my body, I do consider it a joint experience to a point, because my boyfriend and I both wanted the abortion, paid for it, and went to the clinic for it. We are both happy about it. He did not actually take the pills, but he participated in every other part. I got an abortion, but he was involved with it, too. I wouldn't correct him if he told someone that "we" got an abortion.

  5. Er no. An abortion is a medical procedure which terminates a pregnancy and is performed on one person's body (the pregnant one), you are not 'having an an abortion' if you are not pregnant (and no, Doug was not 'pregnant' just because his partner was).

  6. What's so special about being human? That's where this logic fails, because there's nothing special about being human.

  7. @Ambrosia 192 — "self-awareness" is how you "distinguish" between "fetus" & "human"? LOL. I'd no idea my 3-wk-old girl wasn't human. Maybe not even my 1-year-old boy (till he starts yelling "mine!" while grabbing his toy from a neighbor kid). Per Science: A human newborn doesn't distinguish between herself & her environment for some time (wiki it). And 1 difference 'twixt a fetus in, say, a horse, & one in a human? One's a horse fetus; the other's a human fetus! "Human" is both noun and adject

  8. Man, this is the funniest piece of material I've heard in awhile. Doug Stanhope is just so funny it should be illegal, like copyright infringement.

  9. @sowhat123
    Yeah, true statement. Hicks was funny, as was Carlin and all the others. I can't stand when people call someone "the next Hicks," or "the next Carlin," or whatever. No, there was one, Carlin, one Hicks, and there's one Doug Stanhope.

  10. @devilchille …Any reason to not execute murderers?
    I mean maybe I will grant you that we shouldn't kill innocent people…maybe not even small, powerless genetically-complete innocent people who are at your mercy… like fetal humans.
    But why not kill murderers? If we don't, how fair is our justice system to the innocent victims of murder? … like fetal humans.

  11. @thejamie42, @davethehostage, @devilchille, @bluefuckinggreene, @torment3d, @sowhat123, @founded1988, @pixelpariah, @mischiefpwns, @zakura616, @notoriousmichal, @itzahazylife,
    Rather like ridiculing anti-genocide activists for demonstrating with photos of the Holocaust death camps. Or like mocking 1950's black civil rights activists for showing the victims of lynchings.
    What in hell is wrong with Stanhope?
    Can a Leftist's conscience, mind and humanity be restored once seared?

  12. @davethehostage carlin said it best "why is it that the people against abortion are people you wouldnt want to fuck anyway?"

  13. hicks was hicks and hes a legend in his field,as is stanhope,different styles with similar subject matter.both great…hicks broke ground befor dougiel.theres many good comedians and few great,these phellas are great.

  14. @sowhat123 yup. In fact I think he's smarter than hicks was. Hicks knew what was going on in the world but Stanhope articulates it with a much higher grade of intellect. Don't tell Doug that though

  15. I'm for medical abortion as its safer than the alternative of putting nearly invisible objects near the top of the stairs for her to trip over. Not that I would ever condone such a thing but its early and your mind wanders…

  16. @itzahazylife. You are an idiot. Despite that abortion is a nasty business, childbirth isn't exactly appealing either. Especially considering the carbon footprint.

  17. We got our 'No Refunds' DVD y-day! Even tho we've seen most of it in clips on here, watchin THE STANHOPE had us in fits of laughter…Again! He's the man! Lol! ;D xxx

  18. @woodywefc He's often on Charlie Brookers shows. In fact he was on yesterday on Charlie Brookers Yearwipe on BBC1 or 2 I think. Look out for it, it's brilliant! lol

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *