Earthbound #31: The One With the Fetus



hey everybody I'm Zack this is smirking up her and welcome back to earthbound last time we sacrificed our bodies and came here and we have found orb or and it's a teleporter okay so we've got further to go and that's okay we just got to finish these fools it's the final star man yo all right PK freeze let's use our bazooka and let's bash all right final star man prepare to meet your maker okay let's use recovery be on derp everybody else defend and let's get this heal on we might get murder eyes by final star man here yo okay Zeke multi bottle rocket let's go let's go Z we killed him he dead we lived okay well derp didn't live but some of us lived okay let's have Zeke use a cup of night life noodles a cup of knife noodles on Dirk and Smurf it is more worthwhile to just use Omega will save they the PP by doing it that way dude I don't want to fight more of those final star men I tell you what welcome to crap mania it is vinyl star man okay here's what we're gonna do Murray's gonna bash him but derp is going to use shield Omega right yeah you shield Omega I'm doing it I'm gonna use a multi bottle rocket on this guy and then you are gonna use shield let's freaking go please Zeke please go before the the nuclear robot alright we've got power shields let's go he dead okay that is HUGE absolutely enormous we're gonna pray and see if we can get some HP back here and everybody else is just attack this is fine Oh power shields come on now this is all right well the prayer made us cry it happens to the best of us do you have something let's see I don't know just keep bashing I think we'll just take the damage right I should have gotten the neutralizer I should have brought the neutralizer with us now maybe was a mistake maybe it was a big mistake do you yeah nobody has anything that gives for the shields but the shield is gone so it's okay all right now we can just wail on him let's go you know what termites still like you to pray get some free healing going so he can just go into the next fight all right we're all okay we're all okay oh man I'm starting to tense up a little bit start to tense up a little bit oh my god okay it's trying to de-spawn somebody else there may be a way to get no enemies here let's keep trying just for a little bit alright just kidding we're done you know these superstar man man oh this is the absolute worst the absolute worst I'm concerned I'm real concerned let's go that prevents one that's something okay just don't you start storm man I mean we got a try right okay Kaali punched himself and then went back normal we did some damage good stuff oh let's go let's go psychic shield more damage I love it yes yes okay we gotta use shield again okay excellent excellent excellent excellent not gonna work so good all right bash you kill him dead thank you that's huge ah that was actually a really good fight a shockingly good fight offense up to H P 11 P P 1 good stuff I'm curious sorry everybody there we go there is a little window doing weird stuff there alright we're gonna use a magic truffle hunter a TPP that's great dude look at all these freaking enemies this is awful how did I ever win this how did I ever win this okay shield this shoot him no shoot him with the bazooka and bash good stuff so that's and we're safe from this awesome come on see why you got to do us like that why you got to do us like that why you got to ride me like a rodeo I'm gonna make our shield stronger and we're gonna seal off on seat power shield sucks but you know what I love it nice nice HP result happy to have it die please set the shield block this to Holly feels a little strange that's okay what's something we can fix okay yes we got a green that is so helpful okay let's go let's take out this ghost of starmon all right heavy bazooka and outstanding outstanding nice and easy fight that feels good it feels real good okay Zeke has leveled up good stuff HP up 11 I like it we're here everybody we've arrived holy crap alright boom dropping a quick save here and if we go in does it start immediately I don't think it yeah I didn't think it did we're gonna take this little path over here right yeah look at how gross this is it's so gross now we have some healing stuff that we want to use we want to use some brain food lunches at a magic tart we're gonna give the magic tart to Derb we're going to use a brain food launch hunter we're gonna use a brain food lunch on we're gonna use a brain food lunch on dirt she still needs some peepee back I kind of wish that we would have found you know we have a bunch of brain food lunches this is awesome we'll use another one on schmear and we'll use another one just the brain food lunch work on Kali I don't think it does I think he needs water and we don't have any water we're gonna use the Sai Carmel launched murder and a brain food lunch on Smurf okay he's full of peepee we're gonna use the brain food lunch and see if it works on Kali it does that's amazing okay great so we are in the hall of the final battle and I think we're gonna be all right everybody I think we're gonna be okay look at this disgusting anus that is clearly a a sphincter like that's a sphincter am I right or am i right let's see what happens when we touch him oh it starts shaking it Quivers when you touch it in fact I'm pretty foul everybody I'm pretty foul Smarties pokes his head folks is head out of there oh and it's this MF look at this douche bag smell are you surprised it's me Toki I assist only the strong and able but ok you guys look what settings the Apple of enlightenment has already made a projection but I won't let what the apple of alignment projected take place you guys will be beaten by gigas nudity and ass play what's going on here sir found a man that's earthbound daggers will be stronger a more powerful entity than any other boy present me I was led by darkness and now I'm here the Apple of enlightenment couldn't predict this master guy gasps no guy gets is no longer the wheel of an evil he has become the embodiment of evil itself thus he cannot control on his own he is the evil power capital capitalized evil power let's take this fool out all right so the first thing we want to do here we actually want to use brain shock but no big deal so Smurf is gonna just bash pokey here derp is gonna use shield this shield of this seek you are going to use weight is pokey immune for a few turns I don't think he is we're gonna use the multi bottle rocket on the heavily armored boat and we are gonna use brain shock Omega here with Kali um although it doesn't work on gigas can work on pokey though that's outstanding all right here comes the music see you speaking on Joe it's not gonna work buddy it's not gonna work yo nice let's go here's the damage only a hundred and twenty-four give me a break okay now we're gonna start using freeze and Zeke you're gonna start using your bazooka and Kali is gonna keep our shields ganja beta not gonna work my friends alright music maybe a little loud let's turn that down some Khali dodged out of the way what an amazing move by Khali all right Murr you're gonna keep on bashing my friends keep on passion dirt keep up with the freezes and Zeke keep up with the bazooka Khali let's make our shield even stronger ooh let's try a magnet let's see if a magnet works don't think I ever used a shield during my first run of this game years ago Cody do seven yeah yeah um nice I feel like I didn't really need to for most of the game but at the end of the game I feel like there was no you had to you were fighting those freakin starmon alright keep on bashing keep on freezin Zeke keep on bazooka Inge and Khali let's make our shield better right good stuff I died so much nice Oh PK ganja got through alright we're gonna have to use a big heal here no probably all with the smash I understand you guys are already claiming to be heroes well it is a gazillion years too early for you to oppose Dargo you must feel pretty stupid to keep fighting without even knowing what Gargas look like if you were having to see a guy Gus you'd be so petrified with fear he'd never be able to run away that's how scary it is so you want me to turn off the devils machine but pass on the amazed phase to everybody need to play Tetris 99 on stream I could do that I could do that today actually if I finish this soon enough even just terrifying I'm terrified clues daggers said I think roughly anymore he isn't even aware of what he's doing now he's no mind was destroyed by his incredible power wasn't almighty Elliot yep that's what he is and you you will be just another meals to him we're good we're good so this does nothing yeah we actually did some damage to him bonkers alright schmurder is going to use life up omega get everybody a full heal and I think we just need to do damage to him I think we just need to do damage to him I think we continue with PK freeze because it I mean it seemed to work Zeke continued with the heavy bazooka and Kali let's get the shield going all right big heels so good okay the bazooka and Smurf I think we can stand to use a gonzo mega for a whole lot of damage keep freezing keep bazooka Inge and I mean we could use star storm let's do it ma you cannot grasp the true form of his attack all right couple of pair out paralyzed people we can fix that actually with derp it doesn't really matter she can do everything she needs to do while paralyzed so you must be really at the end of your rope in this mental dimension you four are the only force fighting for justice and here you stand waiting to be burned up with all the rest of the garbage of the universe ha that felt sad I can't help but shed a tear you know my heart is beating incredibly fast I must be skating absolute terror do you want to scream for help here in the dark why not call your mommy's mirror say mommy daddy I'm so frightened I think I'm gonna wet my pants I know you have to laugh to see you something so just try and call for help you pretend it's me weak hero the phone call jumped it no one will help me now remember don't worry your pitiful suffering will be over soon so I think we've already moved into the next phase we have so PK ganj is not gonna do anything here and that's okay 478 damaged I mean we can do damage but it doesn't matter so next step Murr please defend actually sure why don't you use healing gamma on Kali derp is gonna pray this is a very important prayer we're gonna use a brain food lunch on Kali to get his peepee back because Kali needs to make sure that our shield stays strong all right you did miss pokey becoming an evil genius now it's not exactly explained dirt prayed from the bottom of your heart please give us strength if it is possible please somebody help us let's go we're getting some help ladies and gentlemen this final boss fight was so much easier than getting here yo it's doctor and Oh nuts he'll help us he'll send his energies our way they're looking around they're like hey derp is calling us and like if derp calls you you need to help mr. Saturn go get all of your friends boeing-boeing away mr. Saturn's boying for justice zoom for freedom all that mr. Saturn's felt a new startling feeling they had never experienced before they all started praying for the safety of summer and his friends oh so damn cute God I love mr. Saturn's I loved him so much gigas his defense it became unstable murder healed Kali good stuff and Zeke gave the brain food lunch to Kali who recovered a hundred and fifteen PP oh my god alright Smurfs um we just need you to defend no just kidding we're gonna use healing gamma on derp derp is gonna continue praying and these two just get to defend this is good stuff ah Goro smash smash you cannot grasp the true form of gigas its attack oh no turf oh no Kali that was clearly lightning though it's clearly a lightning attack give us strength anyone who can hear our plea help us prayer number two who do we got next it's the runaway five check out the drummer macking on the lady down there yo derp is asking for our help we could have that derp a bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum suddenly one of the runaway five felt something stopped him and he prayed fervently for the safety of shimmer and his friends Thank You runaway five thank you for your help oh we did damage 47 damage let's go all right Murr we need you to keep derp alive keep that derp alive keep that tip laughs chirps gotta pray Zeke's gonna defend and Kali I'm a little bummed that our our shield isn't seeming to help us out very much try it again I feel good ah girl our God you cannot grasp the true form of his attack it didn't work on summer but derps crying that's fine she can cry and pray all right good stuff please give us strength speed this prayer to all the people of the earth yo derp is reaching everybody she's reaching out its the Polestar cat let's go what something's going on in my brain peace hey everybody Europe needs our help ah they love her so much especially were the one with the wonky eye derps father thought he somehow heard his daughter's voice and prayed sincerely for the safety of derp and her friends oh very nice very nice a hundred damage to gigas let's freaking go okay let's use recover she doesn't need to cry we're gonna give her a little bit of heals here and she's gonna pray and you're gonna defend and Kali why don't you put up the other shield maybe I don't know sure we'll put up the Omega shield – I feel good it hurts me I feel good you cannot grasp the true form of his attack franklin badge let's go prep the bench Oh Kali took a shot Kali took a shot alright we've got power shields now to everybody you know healing a doesn't cure crying give me a break anyone who can hear please help us alright it's the man of the mana Thole buildings this the monotony building where are we right now who are you oh it's the kids in in Zeke's school of course it's Tony that's his name suddenly Tony felt anxious about Zeke and he prayed strongly for the safety of Zeke and his friends Oh Tony what a sweet boy he is he's here to help 204 HP worth of damage okay Murr you're gonna give a life up be to Kali cuz he took some damage you're gonna pray Zeke I don't know why we haven't been doing this let's use the defense shower right and Kali can Kali can he's got a brain food lunch let's use a brain food lunch it doesn't matter let's save it we might need it let's defend all right dirt pray it again please grant us power anyone who can hear our plea help us it's taken some time but we're taking this fool out we are gonna take this fool out it's de la Oh No something's happening to Kali he's such a beautiful man we can't let it happen get all the women of the town together to pray for Kali and his sexy sexy bod okay a young woman into Lomb woke from a dream in which prince kali died and she began to pray for the well-being of Kali and his friends yeah we're succeeding everybody don't you worry we got it under control 442 HP that's not right not right not right it's not right not right not right ah Goro you cannot grasp the true form of his attack it's lightning dude I get it I understand all right defense up why not sperm why don't you use a life up on Zeke dirt continues praying Zeke can defend and Kali why don't you use a life up on yourself getting some nice heels going here staying alive praying like crazy please grant us strength anyone who can hear our plea we ask for this all right who's next uh it's the the it's Frank it's Frank from on it the the gangster suddenly Frank remote recalled SMERSH a shining young face and began to pray diligently for the safety of summer and his friends we have the power of the sharks on our side now everybody gigas doesn't stand a chance 765 damage go back go back smurfs smurfs smurfs smurfs smurfs smurfs smurfs where where's miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss Mary Smurf Smurfs Smurfs Smurfs he cannot grasp it oh no we've been frozen okay well let's pray um Zeke defend Kali defend we'll get a full yield when smirkin wake up it's not right down right not right it's not right not right down right smack oh boy sixty-two damage to Schmeer dude derp is barely okay but she is praying speed this prayer up all the people of Earth okay we're gonna make it we're okay it's mom's listen to the music it's so good so stardew valley am i right and ur goals derp goals is here everybody suddenly SMERSH mother felt terribly uneasy she threw up all over the dog and began to pray for the safety of her son and his friends Oh gurgles gurgles thanks for the good thoughts man thank you 1585 damage did we win summer was able to move okay we need life up Omega you need to keep praying and Zeke cool this is grating on the ears and the eyes holy crap holy crap Zeke do nothing thank you Kali will also defend please don't kill d'oeuvre I feel good Derr prayed nice I can't think of anyone else someone anyone please help us who's it gonna be Timbo's derps call was absorbed by the darkness smear tried life up good okay um just defend pray you know what Zeke or Smyrna gets to bash we're gonna pray Zeke you can shoot it and Kali why do you bash it to friends it hurts me go back you cannot crash the true form of his attack no okay derp taking shots big smash on the final boss there it was Zeke someone can you hear me please give us strength Oh dhurpa two friends calls touch the heart of ye of Electronic Arts finally someone someone got through to EA and it's gonna start to fix the problem she bird prayed for the kids having never even met them before indeed big damage smirk at upper kept praying this is what praying looks like 5700 damage I'm praying I'm praying for 10000 damage smirking upper kept praying ten thousand damage yes 14200 a mr. Gaius look at this go look at this go smirking uber kept praying two-handed this time he'd add to twenty eight thousand seven hundred damage let's go boss defeated still stuff to go though still stuff to go yo this would make me motion sick if I stared at it too long so I'm gonna do a little this hey pokey man now it's going to seem like I'm running away but perhaps I'll just Nica waves to another era to think about my next pad it's a good bet that we will see each other again alright I'll be seeing you so now with what about cheese dick is the cool guy quick poll and Chad which one is the cool guy is it SH Mraz a pokey you know where my vote lies all right Murr Murr Murr come on shake a leg I guess just die would you Zeke I am the cool guy that's it everybody TV's broke we broke the TV it's over now what can you do the darkness the darkness eventually envelops everything including four little robot children in their spirits dragons I'll come back for you oh look at the crushed up robots the war against gigas is over wake up robots wake up oh oh okay all right not the robots oh there's another okay all right no oh yeah that one's definitely Zeke clearly clearly it could see it in its face there I am there yeah but my red hat will be forever lost in the past sitting there slowly decomposing in front of gigas cave in front of his corpse look at this everybody our bodies are still here so dr. Anna nuts didn't totally destroy us when he switched us to robots but uh oh wait here we go here we go there's Kali there's Kali uh he's up and about oh whoa look at that where did that mouse come from there Zeke I told you it was that one all right and here we go there's uh there's old derp coming back again great music so good and lastly the soul of SHM er we've done it we've done it ladies and gentlemen that's it that's the end of bound our travels together end here I must return to de lama and use this experience for the good of my country smart herb Zeke let me demonstrate a strange power before I go I realized this power as a child PK farewell now I'll see you again someday PK farewell that is adorable adorable Zeke it's been a pleasure my friend derp merr it was great to hang out with you guys it really was I'm glad that I had the chance to use some of the theories that I've been studying so hard it's remarkable if just maybe well if you two get hitched someday maybe I'll be the one that fixes your broken electronic appliances I'm gonna stay here for a while and see if I can learn more from dr. and Oh nuts I mean from my dad so it looks like this is goodbye for now my friends Zeke let's go dude mr. Saturn and Zeke friends forever smear will you escort me home heck yeah I will I'll miss all of you but I have to go back to being just a regular kid I gotta get going dude a letter from mom inside oh dear smear how are you since you left home on your journey things have changed around here for example I don't have as much laundry also we don't seem to eat dim sum as much as we used to I heard that you defeated some universal evil character what was it googy or something like that well that sounds really great I want to hear all the details so hurry home okay Tracy dribbles and I are waiting for you love mama oh thanks mom's thank you let's check this a letter from Tony yo Zeke Tony sent a letter there's fun hanging out together ah Marie you read it already that Tony has a heart of gold I haven't read it already it was clearly addressed to you Zeke dear Zeke everything's going really great here I wish I could have gone with you on your adventure even just part of the way but instead I'm sitting here waiting for you and winners I want to see you again as soon as possible I can't wait to see your cheerful face I bet your glasses are dirty if you come back I'll clean them for you like I said I'm waiting for you yours truly Tony PS don't show this letter to anyone yo Tony's got a little crush on Zeke not gonna lie a letter from kids inside dear derp how you doing I'm fine I find too sore me me also me okay please come and play with us again as a pulse our preschool oh yeah one more thing bring us some presents if you have any sincerely your friends at the post our preschool mr. Saturn zoom was scared now kli strong Boeing oh-oh breathe is so good all right so here's the dilly there's still some stuff to do a miracle that has only happened because of your great courage believe me I went through a lifetime's with him stress while you are gone I wish I could have come with you as a robot I should have used the face distorted what a story that would have been scientists and for kids save the world ha ha ha ha ha ha Apple kid that chance of Gaga's gaining victory this monster's plan it's 99% however your courage is produced a 1% chance Takagi's fails I must try to come to a deeper understanding of this trait called courage ok again there's more so this was the final boss the last real action in this game but there is some postgame content that I'm gonna dedicate an episode to we'll have a little epilogue so thanks for tuning in and I'll see you later I'll see you all around I'll see y'all next time I can't wait to play more earthbound and I can't wait to do with you have a great day bye

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