First Ultrasound at 7 Weeks After Low Betas | Pregnancy Journey [CC]

Last week.
There’s not much else I can do other than wait until the ultrasound. I need an attitude
adjustment. So, I’m going to take today to kind of figure out how I want to feel about
this, how I want to approach the next two weeks, and then make it happen. Okay. So, it is a little while later and I
did a little bit of work, but I also planned out a few videos I want to film. And for two
of them I need this chalkboard behind me, which means these lovely, lovely 4th of July
themed drawings have to go away. So, it’s time to cue the time lapse.
[Music] It’s Sunday and I’m a few days into this wait,
which was wait for an ultrasound and I realize it’s kind of like a 2-week wait all over again.
I thought I wasn’t going to have to go through this cycle, but it turns out I’m just doing
a weird other waiting game. So, it’s torturous; absolutely torturous. I’m having a really
up-and-down time dealing with it. Like some days I’m being pretty optimistic
about it and those are also the days that I’m just like really productive and I’m like,
“Alright, I can’t do anything about it. There’s nothing I can do to affect it one
way or another”. So, I am pretty productive and getting work done and in other days, I
am just… it’s not other days, it’s other moments, other hours within the day that I’m
just really not feeling optimistic about it, and worrying, and just wanting to know the
results one way or another. Other than that, other symptoms, I guess I
should be giving symptom updates. Nausea, just like last time. It’s okay in the morning,
and then in the morning it always kind of feels like you had just a little bit too much
to drink; like you’re not hung-over but your stomach’s a full. That’s how I wake up feeling.
And then as the day continues on, food becomes less and less appealing and the nausea starts
to just build and build and build. So, dinner is always a struggle. If I can,
I just skip it. Can I just not? Because it doesn’t sound good. I couldn’t make it through
Friday without a nap. So, the exhaustion is starting to set in.
Oh yeah boobs; they’re growing, they’re sensitive, they hurt. This continues; it continues.
Digestion system is just at a complete standstill. That’s where I am right now. That’s my week
5 update. I don’t know ladies. This is pretty hard. Okay, check it later.
Alright, well, ladies you’ll forgive me for being so shiny; right? We’ll have those days.
Oh, well. So, it’s been a {indistinct 03:30} since I
gave my last update, mainly because I’ve just been a sad panda for a few days and also,
because me and the husband have kind of just not been talking about it. We can’t be excited
and I don’t know, we can’t talk about next cycle, because there’s about a 15% chance
of us getting good news in a week and an 85% chance of getting bad news.
So, on one side, like those were the odds of us getting pregnant, like it was either
that or lower to get pregnant on our own {indistinct 04:25}. They stayed in my system clearly and
helped out, but I don’t know. As you can tell I am struggle bussing with
not being able to tell anybody and would prefer some support. Obviously, we’re not going to
do that because that’s not what we agreed upon for this cycle, but we’ll see. We’ll
see hopefully, fingers crossed. This works out, and then I can do some cute freaking
surprise videos, but I’m kind of like, “I don’t know, once you have a channel about
trying to conceive, the surprise is kind of gone. Okay, check in later.
[Music] Hey, good evening ladies. It is now Saturday
and I’m getting ready to go to a friend’s birthday party, but I just wanted to check
in with you all and let you know kind of what’s going on. The husband is away for a long weekend
bachelor party for one of his. He’s the best man. So, he like coordinated at all.
Anyway, so he’s away and this is the last few days before the ultrasound. Ultrasound
is on Tuesday. So, 3 more days. I kind of waffle now between like, “Oh, it’s just
for sure not going to work because like our betas are so low” and then I’m like, “Well,
they’re only 1 percent below like the 66 percent rate” but I keep thinking about it working.
Anyway, I didn’t mean for this to get all downtrodden. Anyway, picking back up. All
my friends think I’m not drinking because I am just not drinking for my next three cycles.
That’s what they think is that for the next three cycles, I’m just not going to drink
to help egg quality. That’s what I’ve told them. Frankly, I think that would be my game
plan. So, I think that’s going to be my game plan
going forward. I think I’ll just not drink because, I don’t know about you guys, but
not drinking and then drinking for 2 weeks, I don’t know, I feel like it’s harder to like
go back and be like, “Wine is wonderful” and then have wine taken away from you.
So, I’ll just let my mind slowly forget the wonders of wine over the next few months.
But yep, that’s what they think. Hard to keep lying to everyone and it’s hard to like not
just fall off the precipice of depression when I know on Tuesday I might be told the
most devastating news of my life again. I mean, it’s just how it goes. That’s just
the infertility battle. So, I know I’m not alone; not the first, not the last, but it
sure sucks to go through it, man. Alright, well, even though I feel rather crappy,
obviously, I did my face. Let’s be clear. The husband is not home and I have had no
responsibilities too. I’ve been in yoga pants most of the day, like this cute outfit, like
hold on. This is like oh, look at these cute shorts. Something {indistinct 08:24 – 26}.
The top and everything, like this happened within the last hour to be real honest.
So, I’m going to go make an appearance at this party and then just be happy that were
one day closer to that ultrasound because I just need to know. I need to know. I’m not
a good waiter, if you follow my vlogs, you’d know I’m not a good waiter. Sorry, that all
of these updates are just me whining. Okay, please forgive me. Send good thoughts my way.
Alright, I’ll check in later. Alright, morning ladies. It is three hours
till my ultrasound and I am so ready to get it over with. I am just kind of resolved.
I slept really awfully last night. I woke up a bunch. I can’t record in the room, but
I might try to get audio. [Music]
[Audio] Okay, so it’s been a while. It’s the evening
now. I kind of needed a hot minute to deal with what happened this morning, because I
was a little bit in shock because look, we have a blob and the blob has legs and arms
and more importantly, a heart rate of a 139 beats per minute.
The technician that was doing my ultrasound thought I was an absolute freak. She was so
confused because I was just being so silent, and nervous, and unhappy, because she did
all of the other measurements first. She told me how long the baby was and how long the
gestational sac and the yolk sac and everything, and then she finally got to the heart rate
and I just sighed and she’s like, “Okay, are you happy now? Are you okay? and I was,
“Yeah” and then I broke down obviously because obvious….
Oh man, then I was in shock for a little while, like I said I didn’t quite believe it and
still don’t all the way. I have my first OB appointment in less than a week. So, that’s
great. But I graduated my fertility clinic; how exciting. I know I’m just really happy,
because the stats are just completely reversed with that one ultrasound. We went from just
horrible odds to less than a 4 percent chance of miscarriage. And by the time we get to
our OB appointment next week, and it’s like less than 2, which is wonderful. Wonderful,
considering the odds we’ve been playing at. She did say that I do have sub chorionic hematoma;
double-checking myself to make sure that’s the actual right term. She was really small,
like 1 centimeter. So, if I have a little bit of brown spotting, no big deal, because
it’s in a good position, so it’s not going to interfere with the baby, but I was glad
she pointed that out because obviously, you want to know if any bleeding’s happening,
what’s going on. Oh, my God. Anyway, oh, so excited. I’m really,
truly excited. I’m still a little nervous, but I am not so much excited, but just peaceful.
I’ve been so anxious and so downtrodden every single day and obviously trying to not be
that way and trying to be hopeful. But it’s hard when you’ve been doing this for over
a year and a half. So, I just feel really calm now that I’ve
had a few hours to let everything settle. So, I’ll get proper updates up and we’ll go
from my. Bye.

9 Replies to “First Ultrasound at 7 Weeks After Low Betas | Pregnancy Journey [CC]”

  1. AHHHHHH, I’m so happy for you! I am actually crying. Yaaaaayyy! Thank you so much for sharing with us. I hope you know we are all celebrating with you ♥️ I want to hear about you and your “little blob with arms and legs” as you go through your pregnancy!

  2. I cried through your entire ultrasound. I've been praying and following you and now I can breathe with you! CONGRATULATIONS mommy❤

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