From Recurrent Pregnancy Loss to Quadruplets | My Miscarriage Story Part 1

hey guys so if you have been following along and you probably know that I'm just about 25 weeks pregnant with quadruplets it's still hard to even get my head around saying that but here we are so ever since revealing the pregnancy and then posting the gender-reveal and our last video just kind of talking a little bit more about our story as a couple the most common question that keeps coming in is how did you guys get here so if you're following on Instagram I've been pretty open about all of my miscarriages and that's obviously sparked some curiosity like miscarrying five times in a row and then ending up with quadruplets how did it all go down so this is not the happiest story obviously it's not really fun for me to talk about especially because these babies are in my diaphragm and I'm super out of breath but I do think that it's worth talking about and I hope that it can give some people some clarity and even hope for themselves okay so conceived in Carson our three-year-old son was no issue at all he was a welcome surprise so we were not even actively trying to have a baby it was in the middle of all of Simon's immigration we were engaged at the time it was pure chaos so even amongst all of that still came a perfectly healthy happy baby and my pregnancy was textbook it was super smooth no complications no issues whatsoever and we were just super blessed with having a son so after you know he turned 2 we were ready to grow our family again and we honestly were just naive about the entire thing and at that point I had no idea what secondary infertility even men I just figured it's gonna go perfect we'll try to get pregnant when we want this time and it will result in another healthy baby so when we first started to try I got pregnant right away it wasn't an issue with getting pregnant but just maintaining the pregnancy so first time we tried we got pregnant my pregnancy test came back blazing positive immediately I'm just like a paranoid person by nature so I continued to test everyday the line kept getting darker I did go in for lab work the lab work came back positive my numbers were super high and promising doubling every 48 hours and I thought that everything would be perfect but then a few weeks into the pregnancy I just got a really bad feeling and everybody told me to just let it be they told me not to compare this pregnancy to my pregnancy with my son and I just knew in my gut that something was wrong I went from feeling pretty sick to just awesome one morning my chest had gone from being super sword to perfectly normal and I just kind of had the feeling that something was off but I convinced myself thought it would be fine sure enough we were ironically watching the Daniel Tiger episode or a tiger Daniel becomes Big Brother and I stood up and just knew I felt the blood sorry that's too graphic for some of you but I knew I was miscarrying instantly and I just looked at Simon I was sobbing and I knew it I knew that was over so lab work was able to confirm that my numbers at that point just weren't where they needed to be I had the medical diagnosis of the miscarriage and the doctors just kind of encouraged us to try again as soon as we were ready and really had us feeling like it was just a fluke it wouldn't happen again the chance of it happening for a second time in a row was like 1% so I was super shaken up from this I was devastated but I was really determined to try again to kind of fill that void I felt like getting pregnant was really the only way that I would properly heal so a few months later we tried again got pregnant again the first time and it was better this time I felt super sick even more so than the first time the pregnancy felt a lot more familiar and a lot closer to my pregnancy with Karson so again i assumed that everything was okay I'm a super optimistic all of my lab work was really good again and then one day sure enough I lost all my symptoms I woke up one morning and I looked at Simon and I said it's over I'm miscarrying and I know it and he encouraged me to just get the lab work the lab work came back that said my numbers were not where they should be and that I could expect to bleed at any time so more time passed I wasn't bleeding in fact I actually started to feel pregnant again the nausea picked back up I had this or chest I was getting regular headaches I was even vomiting so I thought okay well maybe things are okay and naively went into an ultrasound for them to tell me that I had a blighted ovum this time so a blighted ovum is pretty much just when the embryo stops developing right away usually because of something chromosomal and unfortunately they could not give me the diagnosis because they needed a certain amount of time to pass so two weeks go by and I'm walking around feeling pregnant knowing that I don't have a viable pregnancy more than likely and then finally at the two week mark I went into maternal fetal medicine they were able to see that the embryo still was not showing you know any growth or development so after getting that official blighted ovum diagnosis they sent me home with a medication to kind of get things to happen on their own I did not want a DNC I try to be as natural as I can so the thought of an invasive procedure really scared me so that's why we did opt for the medication and I just remember being so afraid to take it I heard tons of horror stories at home from people who you know went that route and my experience with it wasn't that awful I'll be honest but it was just devastating this is a lot harder to talk about and I thought that it was going to be but I can just remember having everything past in the bathroom and I was up all night Simon was right by my side as always just being as supportive as he could be cleaning up after me and yeah I don't want to go into all of that graphic stuff with you guys I'm sure you can draw your own conclusions about what it was like but my medicine was not something that was painful it was just really emotionally hard so after that I honestly just kind of fell into a depression I was just sad all the time I didn't want to do anything I was teaching and didn't want to have any kind of negative influence on my students who I was so close to and loved so much this is actually toward the end of the school year which made it even harder because I felt like I couldn't finish strong with them but I knew I needed time so I was just open with administration who was super supportive and I ended up telling a lot of my students parents so I was very close to as well and we received a lot of support but I just was not myself for a very long time my relationship with God became a daily struggle as much as I wanted to lean on prayer and just knowing that everything happens for a reason and in his time I was very angry I distanced myself from a lot of my friends who are pregnant or had young kids and it was just a really dark time it hurt our marriage in some ways it strengthened our marriage in other ways but we both are on the same page about just knowing that the only thing that would make us both feel okay is to finally have a healthy pregnancy so after the second loss I became really just aware of my body and felt like something was very wrong even though the doctors kept saying that everything was fine and it was just really bad luck it wouldn't happen again and I believed them I was actually going to acupuncture at the time and my acupuncturist is such an angel and she was the only person who took me seriously and agreed that something probably was off for somebody to be only 27 and miscarrying twice in a row once she agreed could have just been a fluke but whenever something happens more than once becomes a pattern so she was the only doctor to order some blood work for me and nothing came back for my blood work that was too abnormal but there was one hormone called the FSH hormone that was slightly elevated so when I took that to the OB OB said no it's fine try again sub e try it again and I got pregnant again this time my pregnancy tests never got darker in fact they started to get lighter so everything online told me that I was having a chemical pregnancy and some people will say that a chemical pregnancy is not a true miscarriage and I will say that it 100% is and that miscarriage hurt more than the first two because at that point I just knew something was seriously wrong to be causing my body to reject these babies so we decided to seek help at this point I was not willing to try again on our own I was completely terrified so he went to an infertility clinic we went to a really well-known reputable place I really liked the doctor and that's when all of the work really started with getting to the bottom of why am i miscarrying so the first thing that the doctor looked for was whether or not my ovaries were producing the correct amount or like a normal amount of follicles so that came back perfectly normal the second thing that they looked into was my uterus did anything look abnormal there were my tubes blocked in any way so he went and had an HSG where they put dye into your uterus to confirm that there was nothing blocked or abnormal and my uterus was con quote gorgeous so we checked that off of our list did a lot of just regular routine lab work really detailed thyroid panels we did genetic testing for both of us Simon was fine I was fine the only thing that came back again was that FSH so just to give you a little scientific lesson on FSH I'm going to rely on my friend dr. Google because I know that there's a better explanation there than what I can probably give you off the top of my head so FSH stands for follicle stimulating hormone and it's a hormone that your body makes to control certain things so men and women make it but for women it's basically what helps us to release our eggs each month so the way that my doctor explained it to me is that your brain and your ovaries are communicating every cycle so in a normal woman when the correct amount of FSH is produced you have an egg that's released and it's usually a healthy egg if your FSH just elevated that's pretty much saying that your brain is kind of yelling at your ovary saying wake up wake up let's go let's make an egg and their communication is what suggests that there could be a problem with egg quality if that makes any sense at all basically if your brain is only sending a little bit of the hormones your ovary it's because your ovaries are listening they're responsive they're producing good eggs without a whole lot of effort if your FSH is super high that usually is indicative of a problem because your body is working super hard to produce that healthy egg so if you remember from the results from my acupuncturist who ran the FSH hormone at that point it was only a 9.2 and I guess anything under 10 is still considered normal which is why my OB said go ahead try again there's really nothing to be concerned about but being that the hormone was at 9.2 that's not super far away from the magic number ten that they want it to be under so I was like at the borderline level of problematic but then when I was with the infertility specialist he ran the hormone again and it can fluctuate month-to-month and this time it came back as 13.7 so at that point that is when I received the diagnosis of you at 27 years old have bad eggs so to be told at 27 years old that there's something wrong with my reproductive system was such a blow to like my ego to my womanhood I was so devastated I was so afraid that I was never going to have a healthy child again I felt like a ticking time bomb I felt so terrible for Simon at this point he really wanted another child and I just felt like am I going to need donor eggs am I going to like where do we go from here there were just so many questions and I felt like a complete failure so at that point one part of me was just super relieved and happy almost to have an answer and some sort of explanation and understanding as to why I was miscarrying then the other part was just pure anger and panic and what is treatment going to look like how are we going to treat this is this even treatable what we need I you I will we need IVF how are we going to afford it like it just created a whole new set of problems in itself to have that diagnosis as good as a diagnosis felt so before I get into all of that because it is a long story in itself as to what the treatment looked like and how we finally ended up with the quads after tumor miscarriages after the three that we already had I just want to leave you guys with I guess something inspirational there's really no words that anybody can say during such a hard time and I thought that after everything I would be this voice and somebody who did have those hard words but I honestly just don't it's a journey that I wished on nobody but if I could offer you anything it's just to not give up people asked me how I got through it and I think that what motivated me to keep going was that at the end of my life I want to be able to look back and say I don't have any regrets and I didn't hold myself back from anything that I truly wanted and I with all my heart feel like God put the desire on me to have a family and to grow my family and if I had stopped when I was miscarrying then I would always regret it so I don't know if this is helpful but I guess just don't give up and keep going until you've truly had enough my friend who's been through infertility told me you will know when you are done and I just never reached that point because my desire to have a baby was always greater than the pain that getting there caused and if we had not done the last cycle I never would have been here now so sending you my love and I'm happy to talk to anybody who wants to talk personally so next time you hear from us I promise it will be all of the details of exactly what treatment looked like and how we found out we were pregnant with quads our reactions our family's reactions symptoms everything that leads up to today so thanks for watching and we will see you next time

27 Replies to “From Recurrent Pregnancy Loss to Quadruplets | My Miscarriage Story Part 1”

  1. my mom went through two miscarriages, both before each of my brothers. her strength was incredible and i see the same strength in you! i pray for you and your quads ❤️

  2. Im so sorry you had miscarriages.. but its a miracle.. congratulations ! i just came across your channel!! i have subscribed. I hope to see your channel grow. much love xoxo

  3. Once eventually you get to the point you should do the " Im in labor prank" And i just realized that yall are new and just want to say welcome to you tube its gonna be rough with editing and etc. also here is another channel who just had a baby and hopefully could give yall some tips or advice for what to do.–g ( Earls Family Vlogs)

  4. Keep pushing through. You are so strong and it takes serious power to sit in front of a camera and share your story with a bunch of strangers!! Praying for you and your growing beautiful family!!

  5. Love ur channel and I’ll pray for you everyday have a nice time with those amazing baby’s ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  6. I’m so excited to see the babies! I’m really excited for the name reveal too! I’m sorry for your loss! I’m glad you were able to have more children!

  7. Thank you for being so open about your story,it’s so sad yet so amazing. Good luck to you & your babies! ❤️

  8. Your a strong woman and blessed. 💕 My first baby was born with HLHS and got a heart transplant but rejected it at 6 weeks. Shortly after that I had a miscarriage and then I was blessed with 2 normal pregnancies. 8 years later had a blighted ovum and then had another 2 normal pregnancies. I knew after my last child now 18 was born that I was complete. I pray all goes well with your babies. Congrats!

  9. I hope you keep up with the vlogs! I have 4 boys, we are done now but we had our issues as well. We have 8 miscarriages all together in between each baby. We are beyond blessed and so thankful. I am so happy for you guys, I wasn’t going to mention the NICU but I know you guys will be prepared. But please know that the NICU life is hard but so amazing all together. It’s probably one of the biggest emotional rollercoasters you will go through. The nurses are amazing and trust them that they will look after your babies when you aren’t there. Don’t feel bad if you can’t spend every minute of your life there, that’s why they have nurses, you need you time and your son and husband need you as well. Know also that those babies no matter how small are so much stronger then people think!! I’ve had two NICU babies now and it still amazes me what they went through and you could never tell now. Keep your chin up and be positive! So happy for you all, and keeping you in my prayers that you will have a healthy pregnancy. 🤞🏻

  10. Wow, God bless you. Your story is very inspiring. I hope you have an easy pregnancy and all 4 of these babies arrive healthy and happy.
    We also have secondary infertility, went through 3 rounds of failed IUI and 1round of IVF last year, got pregnant and had a blighted ovum. We also had a son without any problem/issue…who unfortunately we lost tragically at 6 1/2yrs old. We have two adopted children and were hopeful to have another but after all this…I just couldn’t take anymore loss…i am 38 and my husband is we have some years on you…I still hope that someday maybe we will just miraculously become pregnant ..even though I know the chances are quite slim. God bless your family

  11. Thank you for sharing, please focus on the amount of lives you will touch with sharing your story! ♥️ MUCH love to you and your family.

  12. I'm so sorry for all your miscarriages I know how you feel I went through 4 miscarriages back to back I finally got my rainbow baby in June 2018 best of luck to you I'll be praying for you and your quadruplets

  13. This was so articulate and well put together. Thank you for sharing. I cannot imagine the heartache and break that comes with infertility. Praying for a healthy remainder of your pregnancy. 💜

  14. You are such a strong woman, very inspirational thank you for sharing your pain to give hope to others ❤️

  15. So much love to you and your babies! I know sharing your journey is really hard and brings back heartbreak. You are strong!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *