Good Cop, Pregnant Cop


Ok, we’ve been over this a thousand times.
Are you going to confess, or not? No. Ooh!! I was totally hoping you’d say yes just
now. Alright, I didn’t want to have to do this, but if you’re going to keep acting like
a tough guy, I’m going to have to pull in the big guns. Linda! Enter! Sorry I’m late, Searge. Damn OBGYN ran late.
Good news, though. Four centimeters dilated! Ah, sweet, up top! See, all the pamphlets show the ripping and
tearing that can occur. Ew, no thanks. Yeah, look, let me show you. Here, grab the
other end of this. See? Right there. Wh- No, no, no. You can’t do that! What are
you doing? No. Do you have a problem with the beauty of childbirth? Look there’s nothing beautiful about that. Nothing beautiful?! Linda, calm down. No, no, I’m calm. I’m calm. Let’s get down
to why we’re here. We all know you robbed that hotel room. No, I didn’t. Yeah, you did, so why don’t- Ohhh, my God.
That feels real. Maybe she should go to the hospital or something. I’m not going anywhere until you confess. I’m not going to confess to something I didn’t
do. You lying, sack of shhh- Linda, you shouldn’t get so upset. It says
right here,. Look at that. Ughh! Yea you should be listening to him. Don’t tell me what to do. I’m not. I’m just- You know what I’m trying to do? I’m trying
to keep this baby from ripping from the very uterine lining that’s’ keeping it inside my
body. How about trying that? I, uh- I don’t want to try that. Just like my husband. Dude, why’d you have to bring up Greg? Not
cool. The same husband who’s never going to look
at this vagina ever again without picturing a giant human head rushing at him like a crappy
’80s 3D movie! Ugh, I did it! I did it! Way to push, Pregnant Cop!

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