you made a woman pregnant and if you're lucky it's your own woman let me be one of the first to congratulate you well done the proof of your manhood has been delivered you get offspring I become a dad you sing to your father your friends your colleagues and your sport team members the next few weeks everywhere you come you will be shoulder tapped and complimented for the quality of your manhood so that was that you think my job is done just wait eight months and into me while you read some parents magazine when your woman watches fig that you also think it's also important that the color of the crib fits the closets go into a buff scores with your woman and then the delivery and you are a dead you are right much more you can do and much more there is not to be done that grows a baby the belly of your woman and that's it the reality is rather different everything in on and around your woman changes the only thing that does not change is you her man she sees that you think it all goes on its own with pregnancy and she does not like it she does not like it at all that you seed is different and that this biologically and rationally is doesn't matter the following months only the perception of your woman counts you are the guilty one what please don't become mad at me I am on your side I also knew that the baby grows on its own and it absolutely is no contribution when you also don't eat raw meat don't drink don't smoke and don't get out with your friends how unrealistic it sounds but the next month's there are other logics that rules your life and it's not woman logic it's pregnant woman logic and this one is completely understandable from now on you are not on a other wave than your woman you are only complete other planet for your woman that is not a disaster she can go to her mother and all other women on the world who were or want to be pregnant she will be very popular with the flock of other women but for you it is totally different your pregnancy doesn't interest any other man they only talk about football the new BMW or the new secretary on the department be real you also don't wanna know about pregnancy stripes clamp delivery leaking nipples if your woman wouldn't have forced you to read a book about it you would have never done it you would have thrown it in the trash already well don't be frustrated I will help you to know all about your tube opponents your woman and the baby inside her and in a way a man can understand with examples you relate to and tips you can really use and the information i get from from our own experience but also from a best-seller enough netherlands of a book that every man gets from his friends or family when his woman is pregnant the things you will learn in this video are the basic rules to help you the pregnancy calendar for men hormones pregnancy complaints sex during pregnancy the prenatal depression what not to do during the delivery when your baby is born how the martin et visit routine goes when family and friends come to visit breastfeeding and the day of the loved one the basic rules rule number one use Eastern martial arts techniques dealing with pregnant women can be compared with Eastern martial arts when you get a hit physically or verbally the best thing you can do is move along with it like a straw or grass in the wind this basic rule you will need the next month because women will be highly sensitive out of than nothing she can start crying or shouting remember don't hit back don't freeze don't break just move along and Ben back because patients is the number two basic rule rule number two use desert politics did you know what bad winds do when there is a sandstorm coming they lay on their belly and don't move no camel knows how long it takes until the storm gets calm again the only thing they know is that it will pass use this tactic to it will benefit you Eastern martial art techniques and desert politics are the basic rules you must use the next month when your woman explosive n and her hormones fly around move along and bend back and wait relaxed until it passes and never never start a discussion the first side effects your woman will get is nesting instinct and information on enos let's talk about the last one everything she can lay her hands on she will read about babies when it would depend on her she would go every day to the giant ecologist and ask new questions she will study leaflets as if your life depends on it and after a while she will have a file knowledge that a advocate would be jealous about after a while she can tell you week by week what is happening with the little alien inside her you and I know that this information is very irrelevant but I can't tell you enough stick to the number one and two then and be patience the pregnancy calendar for men okay now i will give you the pregnancy calendar for men we start with the first months because of course you want to know that your seat is doing well and after that we will speed up and go very fast through the other nine months the first month let's start with where it all starts your ejaculation from the millions of seeds that you have injected in your woman a few thousand will end within her womb and again a lot of your little warriors will die for the good cause just like all men it is one for all and all for one and with the risk of his own life one will attack and penetrate the female egg and explode inside mission accomplished the woman is pregnant the second month your son let's go it for now a son because deep inside you hope it will be and also your father hopes to get a grandson to play ball with your son is getting bowels eyes toes and a spine his length will be two or three centimeters and his weight will be like a slice of bait meet the third month your son gets more body parts this month a nose ears teeth kneels and not unimportant his genitals links 7 centimeters like a snooker ball wait a chicken nugget the fourth month your son has a head the size of a golf ball hands like models your wife gets her first belly pains length 18 centimeters like a small volleyball wait is like a smoked sausage the fifth month your woman begins to feel the baby your son uses her belly as a drum kit and it can hear sounds now in this month you can see with an echo if your son is really a boy if not you will have four months to get used to the idea of a daughter length 25 centimeters like a basketball wait a giant stick the sixth months no more turning around in your woman's belly he gets stuck length 30 centimeters like a beach ball wait a kilo the seven months your son has now the weight of a six-pack and about 35 centimeters like a steering wheel of a car and if right it goes head first to where it all began you can hear it when you put a toilet roll on your woman's belly and hear through it he eight months your son can get the hiccup this is because he drinks fluid that is in the belly of your woman but don't panic that is normal length 40 centimeters like a car tire of a middle-sized Japanese car and wait 2 kilo like a watermelon the ninth month your son is ready length 50 centimeters like a skippy ball wait free kilo like a magnum bottle of champagne and then so that is all there is to tell all other info is just waste of your time hormones humans Orion whole nado trope in sounds like a poison doesn't it HCG is the pregnancy hormone and it's fucks up our marriage friendships and our country hormones are brilliant made of alibis to justify a a social behavior from a whole population group namely pregnant women what would your woman say when you very eight from crying have burst out eating moods for months as if it's the most normal thing ever hear a man say to a friend no sorry I won't come fishing because I don't feel so well impossible science fiction when a man doesn't feel well he takes a shower and still world fishing and after three months and miracle happened the war moans went away just a sudden as they came my woman smiled again and she even talked normally and finally I got my woman back pregnancy complaints now her breasts start to grow and hurt even when you only look at them her emotions feelings tastes smells and hearing everything changes she can get allergies she suddenly likes ice creams candy flowers cuddling sex is getting very popular but also she gets snoring gastric acid varicose veins bad hair days back lanes thick feet and fingers strangers who suddenly think they may touch her belly and last but not least pregnancy dementia and yes it does exist for the first weeks she forgets appointments keys you birthdays etc sex during pregnancy I want to draw a lot of blank pages to illustrate it what that would not be nice sex is still possible physically spoken because the woman won't be in the mood and no the baby doesn't feel morsi's anything luckily after the first three months your one gets naughty again and then for manic like even but cause of the big belly they event it the wash ashore whale position she on the side and you go see behind me the prenatal depression we now managed to get through the first eight months in about a week or two or three and no more than four or tomorrow there's also possible the water will break and your son will be born admit you shit in your pants sometimes you have visions about a sex and sleepless life and a woman who has only time for her baby your friends will tell you that you have changed cause you don't come by them every week this is all going to heaven and still these coming weeks people tell you that your child will bring you the happiest moments in your life that the fatherhood will enrich your life that you will love your child even more than your woman there will change much and luckily you will too in these weeks you will become soft and you will enjoy the smile of your child more than the new CD of your favorite band what not to do during the delivery five things you should never do doing delivery say something like what a hot woman that nurse or hey you shit in the bed or hi mom with me it will still take a while now oh it's not my fault or shit I don't know if that will go well or five whew I get muscle pains from pushing you in your back what should you do is do everything she asks you to do don't ask why just do it and don't think she won't appreciate that because the doctors will run to you and don't give her the necessary attention during labor constructions when your baby is born your smile almost splits your face into one hour ago your baby was born while you drive from the parking lot of the hospital you are screaming with this song that people you trust look where that you and you start calling everyone you can think I have a son or I have a daughter and his name or her name is went home you walk to the refrigerator take a beer seeing the photo of your woman on the chimney pick it up and give it a kiss and say I love you down and then you go and sit on your couch alone with your beer start crying the happy tears the maternity visit routine the maternity visit routine is the same for centuries and knows 12 faces one the visitor coming to the bedroom to the vases tell that your woman looks good at least under these circumstances free the baby is being judged and they make a decision on who the baby looks the most for when they really think it's a pretty baby they will tell you otherwise they say things like our sweet funny cuddly and again you will be told on who the baby looks the most 5 you give you socks bears a rattle a baby suit just like to visit before did and also the visit that come tomorrow will do 648 time you get some biscuits with pink or blue mice on it 7 the men that are there try to get a glimpse of the rest of your woman when she feeds the baby ate you and your woman tell for the eighth time the story of the delivery while adding stories from other women who have gone through the same what worse 9 the men that are dare try to start a normal man conversation with you about something like the recent football game but you haven't seen it so you keep on talking about how great your woman was doing it all then the men that are there start to look out of the window nervously sit on the chairs as if they have to go somewhere 11 your woman starts moaning into yon and 12 the maternity care lady walks into the room and does the thing you did not she releases everyone from their suffering and says that your woman now has to sleep breastfeeding breastfeeding is better than bottle feeding cause for example atrovent certain allergies it also helps to bond with the modern and it's scientifically proven that your child gets a better IQ by it but let's be honest the real reason why we promote breastfeeding is you don't have to go out at night to make a bottle for your crying child but you can stay in bed and your wife goes out to give the baby is needed breastfeed and lovely you get support from an unsuspected corner namely the girlfriends of your woman eighty percent of the Dutch woman at least try to do breast feeding just to prove to their girlfriends that they are a brute mother the day of the love somewhere in the sixth or the seventh week you hang above the cradle and try once again a radicular face to get in contact with your offspring and then it happens it smiles it smiles to you he's dead well again congratulations you are dead of a beautiful child in the man of a beautiful and strong woman

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