How I Handled Life After A Miscarriage

I don't know like why are you able to you know first of all support what kind of support did you get were you able to share this story with your family oh my my family I think the only person I told was my mom mm-hmm I called her the following morning yeah I sold them in a cocoon hospital mmm and I didn't tell her anything else just soda she knew expecting so yeah she came to see me and when she came that's when I just told that mom I lost my baby and that was all mm I couldn't see the shock inna I could feel the mother's pain you know and we didn't get to talk much I was discharged the same day so when we went home that's when now we we talked to our best couple actually we came the night I lost the baby they came to the hospital so they were with us or through and you know she led asked me are you comfortable with letting your close friends known since we hunted the same psycho friends I just stood on it you can return might be half yes I do have this friend I do have the courage I was still feeling the shame I'll still blaming myself like is there something I could have done yeah and I could always remember the Sunday the rifle I saw their fastest boat it was right why did I believe the doctor why did I not seek a second opinion you know why did there was so many whys of why did I do yeah one two three things so that was it she told me she communicate through a number of them and about a friend's new expect you it was the first pregnancy he was so excited so those who knew she told them and I just told my other my colleagues few of them and that was it okay I didn't I'd be like now talk get the strength to talk about it I I didn't even tell my sisters I didn't I was just feeling no it's fast it I was feeling it's shameful like and not had any woman speak openly about it so Who am I to speak about it and I'll still so what happened after that is of course now as home I was given bed rest yes they no sister left China a house girl was pretty young and so there's nothing we could share okay so and then my husband would go to work so basically I'm left alone sleeping mm-hm and cry yeah so I realized the roads actually now sinking in depression okay slowly by slowly because I remember there is one day told my husband mm-hmm I don't understand why I'm still alive yeah I just want to follow my baby and I actually made a prayer to God but just take me away I was like I can't face the shame I can't face you know the reality oh yeah so was your first one baby it was my first pregnancy okay so did you seek any counseling did you are you were you able to you know get any help out there that could help you deal with the process of healing and being able to just deal with the pain that you are feeling immediately of at that point I didn't like seek any help okay apart from the the hospital reviews diode cool all right I just was unto myself okay I didn't know who to talk to I didn't know who to run through I was feeling that I've let my family down I've left my let myself down so I didn't open up to anyone yeah and probably out of opened up to friends mhm but then I think when they got to know they also kind of took a back seat like okay you know they're friends you used to all of a sudden knows without friends yeah the only person would call me and find out how I'm doing was lady caught freak okay um she was our best mate and at least her she would call me and find out how I'm doing she would also talk to my husband but I've but from that he's none of my other friends but then there was also another lady was my colleague okay God Mary Mary was very supportive Mary actually remember one day she took a taxi all the way from walking she just came home and spent with me yeah but then since by then she's not a mother maybe should not really understand that and I could tell shows their fear yeah yeah those are the two friends I mean and then at that point when I had the miscarriage I was actually supposed to be sitting for an exam okay the the Wednesday the the Mandy remember I told you I stopped and started spotting on a Sunday so the money I was supposed to I was supposed to that my study leave okay and then that week that's when I was you know the miscarriage and everything so I will I'd taken three weeks Sunday leave all right which ended up being you know sick leave I didn't sit for my exams yes he forfeited my exams because I could not concentrate I could not read okay but one thing that really helped me I have a Christian and a believer is when I had almost nobody to talk to yeah but from very few people and even that I felt like you know they don't understand what I'm going through now no payment being what what you had could they've not been through I've gone through and nobody would understand me so I resorted to the pipe own okay I remember one day I read Sam's 43 okay was one too and I told myself even if I walk through these waters the fire will not you know burn me here and I suppose those ones to myself and I told myself you know what if flame you have to rise up above these and I think that was my turning point so I resorted no no more to reading the Bible and I would speak the ones to myself okay so that's how I was able to get up and then now the challenge was going back to work yeah remember hunt colleagues when you I was expecting okay going back to you know friends and everything that was the hardest one okay yeah alright but right now you have to and I have two boys mother of two boys so that just means you are able to get back that strength to even try again yeah know what boy with that kind of response there must have been actually after the miscarriage yet the pain and everything I told myself a little my husband I don't want to get another bit it's it's a done deal yes I don't know what caused a miscarriage and I don't want to go through that again

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