IVF πŸ˜₯ πŸ’” My personal heartbreak

hey guys um so that's going to the chest I realize this video might have a lot of questions for those might not bring up a lot of question so just feel free to any questions you want in the comments below and I'll do my very best to apply two more for you hey guys um this is going to be a little bit of a different video um this is going to be quite hard video for me to make um but I think it's quite an important video for me to make for a number of reasons um so we are Marcin and I are coming to the end of our current IVF cycle so on the do this video I'm going to talk you through everything um um so the reasons I'm making this video and apparently because I'm a science teacher and it comes up in the specification and and the way they portray teaching the specifications oh you do this and it about you turns up know doesn't know what happens completely illegally not what happens um other reasons are that you know a lot of you are going to watch this video and infertility not being able to have a baby um it's gonna reflect about one in six couples so that's a lot of you but it's something that we don't ever tell you we don't ever like teach you in school or PhD eleven lessons that sometimes when you get to my age also your age you all need to use condoms when you get to my age sometimes having a baby can be really really hard um and it and it's really really hard there were lots of different pressures because I really want to have a baby but I can't and and the other reasons are that you know I love you guys so much that sometimes you're not the most sensitive Bunch in the world um the number of times I've been asked if I'm pregnant or not because I can't get pregnant and every time someone asks me if I'm pregnant what I really want to do is cry I need to shed load chocolates it hurts it really hurts every time you ask me that question it hurts okay the Oh myself welling up now but for me is if you ask me a question in the middle of a chemistry lesson then I can't cry I have to keep teaching chemistry and so please stop asking your teachers if they are pregnant and the worst thing ever please stop complaining when your teacher skip pregnant because intellectual GCSEs we do not plan our lives around you so I like you met some of you may know that I already have two old spent four years trying to have my first baby I do not plan my life around Yul Evans really sorry guys but I don't um I can see this video being a bit waffling I apologize for that so um what we're going to talk about this is talk about the science bit first of all um in either in knocking normal a normal cycle and follicle-stimulating hormone FSH is going to act on your ovaries to like produce or mature one egg because a woman is born with all of the eggs that she's ever going to have and each month like one grows up the middle of the cycle luteinizing hormone is going to be released and that's going to do kind of right the final maturation of the egg and that's going to pop out and then the sperm will come along and it will hopefully fertilize their egg and then they'll implant in your uterus so in an IVF cycle things are really quite different and what I'll do is I'll show you my drug schedule which is honestly really quite brutal so for this cycle I'm doing a donor IVF cycle which means half of the eggs that's um collected from me because one of the good things I can produce produce a load of eggs I'm going to give to somebody else you can't reduce load of their eggs so um I have to address off with so I started up by taking the pill for a couple of weeks so I said 10 pill for every weeks and the idea of that is it just stops your hormones just just stops them dead so like no FSH no lah note is junior gesture it just like puts everything at a baseline level and then I had to start taking another hormone which another drug which turns off my hormones now that is as brutal as it sounds it turns off a shed load of hormones so it's kind of like going through menopause very very quickly and very very brutally and so I lost all ability to regulate my body temperature I mean it was ridiculous and if you've ever seen someone having a hot flash you know like how quickly they can come on and how can look we want to do is literally just strip off all your clothes and drink loads of cold drink now I was doing this and collect started in August I'm going through into September we're now in October um but literally I'll be sitting there like at home or in the office absolutely fine then all of a sudden like that raging hot just like so hot that I mean like they're taking me close up as I could patting myself I am like trying to have lays notes cold drinks just look absolutely no warning just like sudden onset heat everywhere I'm ridiculously thirsty just so so crazy thirsty all the time you know when you're like really thirsty and you just you just need huh some and you drink just like that all the time but the problem with being like that and thirst till the times that you drink like they need me to we all the time now lesson in my school around hour-and-a-half a conduit for an hour and a half it was really bad look really bad so uncomfortable so painful um and then so that went on oh I'll put the drug schedule later on in the video that goes on for and then I have another drug which is called gonal-f now going to laugh acts like follicle-stimulating hormone it sets I'm having shed loads of it like the loads and loads and loads of it so your error is are normally about the size of like a Walmart so about that big and there's kind of like but here in here and so there's two of them have like either side your belly button they're very very small and one egg a month matures and pops outs um except I'm having loads and loads and loads of this drug so my ovaries have gone from being this size each to being this size each they are massive absolutely massive and they're actually touching each other I found that out the other day that's great by touching each other at the moment there are 21 little follicles sitting in there and the follicles bit where the egg grows up and 21 little follicles sitting in there um and I look about six months pregnant I am absolutely huge um which but you know I can see you're looking and whispering by hands you will think I'm pregnant um but I'm not and when you don't want you to ask me if I'm pregnant because it hurts when you ask me if I'm pregnant so don't do that um and then what's going to happen in a few days time is that I'm going to do like a really big injection which is going to stimulate likely luteinizing hormone and that's going to cause all the eggs to release and then just before they release so those six hours after I have this injection I'm going to go into surgery they're going to insert a needle and I you're going to go kind of like and collect all the eggs then the eggs are going to be fertilized they're going to stay in an incubator for five days and then they're going to get put back in um so that is where we are up to at the moment and I respected G my uncoupling time I'm just going to do my like injections her release all the eggs so let's talk about some of the like pros and cons of IVF that you need to know for not only biology but you need to know for army as well I say that advantages are um it gives you a baby yay there are some videos on here is my toddler and he's adorably kids like he's a really good baby like a really good baby um I know I'm slightly biased but he is very very he's very very good one and it gives you a baby um the downsides are um and you said earlier a lot of people a lot a lot of people are going to be affected by infertility in their lifetime um and it's about half and half male factor about half and half female factor so it's not just like something just what may happen swimming it happens to men as well the reason behind this could be talk about men and they could not be producing lis sperm the sperm could be going the wrong direction and they could have really poor swimming sperm and the sperm could have abnormal morphology so they could look weird and or they could not be able to burn like get into the eggs so those are all things that's a male factor female factor obviously is a lot more going on so a lot more things could be happening but it could be to do with the eggs so we're not producing eggs not producing very many eggs and not producing very good quality eggs um it could be to do with their chips though the fallopian tubes that connect the ovaries to the womb so those could be blocked and my problem was with my own uterus so I have something called endometriosis which means the lining of the uterus which I'm you know falls out every month when you have your period um mine grows everywhere so like all over not like 11 on for everything but all over the main part of my body there's like in like cysts full of blood just basically at the price and there's lots of problems because it gets in the way of stuff um and what this means in reality is that when I have a period I have a period which we write in capital letters and underlined in but in italics and some capital like an exclamation marks after it it really really really hurts um you know it hurts I should take like reloads and writes pain killers I like things all the time um you know if you get to like your twenties and you haven't grown out of home rebab here is just don't see you doctor I mention it just maybe um maybe they can do something about it um if you went to school any periods that bad go and see your doctor and mention it because my periods are so bad I was missing so much school because of them and that I just went on the pill when I was like 14 15 or something and just took it so that I didn't have bad periods I was like I'm waffling now why was I saying oh yes so they can be important with the the womb and there could be a problem with the blood there could be a problem with they're kind of like oh there are so many different things that I could be a problem with and so many things easy to fix and some of these things aren't easy to fix and so we had one manned by the F which resulted in my toddler and what we had two embryos which would put in the freezer we had those put back in and unfortunately I had a miscarriage with those ones and again miscarriage is something that happens a lot but it's something that we don't ever talk about and the one of the reasons I'm making this video one of the reasons I've been so open in school about the fact that you know we're having IVF and I've had miscarriages is because the first time I did it Alaska like this is really where it doesn't happens very many people but it does absolute lowest people the one thing that you really really want is someone to talk to someone who's been through this experience and knows where it's going on so I'm kind of like when so I've no remove the stigma Dimas try this a little bit to try and say look this happens a lot you're not the only one out there I'm really sorry this shitty thing has happened to you but you're not the only one out there and sometimes it does work out okay now sometimes it doesn't work out okay sometimes it just doesn't work and sometimes we will never know why it doesn't work and that's really sad it's really sad okay so some of the disadvantages or the the cons of IVF um if we're talking about religious respectives so your RA some people believe that it is right creating life so going against God they don't like it for that reason um it is very very very expensive we're talking between five and seven thousand pounds and there's absolutely no guarantee it's going to work you get about a forty forty five percent chance that it's going to work and that's a lot of money for basically a 50-50 chance and the drug regime is long it is brutal um I'm having to do like two injections not like little injections like big injections each night I don't home shake load tablets I have Chinese are quite strict and time so I can't go out in Rome in the evenings anymore not like did because I have a two-year-old and because I have to be near a fridge because that's where the drugs have kept the kept in the fridge okay I'll show you the packet that's like ridiculous amount of drugs the problem is I feel tired and ill like the whole time and I felt like this for about a month now literally all I want to do is like sitting so far just curl up shut my eyes have a little cry eat quite a little chocolate and just sit there safer I can't was I going to work and I teach you which is quite and I love it except something I really want to do is go home the simple cipher but don't feel very well um and this isn't going to end anytime soon these drugs are horrible they are brutal they're doing really really nasty things to my body and really nasty things to my mood like whole things I'm not a very nice person at Romans not only the drugs brutal armed with immediate side effects there are also some longer term side effects of IVF so it can increase your rates of cancer in the long term so I have 21 little eggs singing inside me at the moment and we have decided that if we are lucky enough to have an embryo we are only going to have one put back in because that's the safest thing to do but Pez some people have two or three or if you remember like a few years ago Octomom sheer like eight put back in there's a lot of baby is to have at once and that brings risks to the babies this is an increased risk of miscarriage and stillbirth and to the mother as well so tell you having one baby hurts two three it's gonna really really hurt like we need really hurt and I'm one baby was hard enough but I literally cannot imagine having twins like I can't imagine having twins that must be so hard I literally anyone that is a twin just needs to go and give them a dad a hug because oh my god I just it would just be so much hard work so that's one way only have one foot back in hey guys so it is the 14th of September today and we're just off or I like the MOT first big one of many big appointments at the IVF clinic it's kind of appointment where they tell you it's going to take about three hours and you should bring some painkillers would be hey guys so everything on a case right I have my messy buy the drugs on one massive drug schedule so I'm going to actually that so here we go so I had to start taking very concept a pill and that was in August now that was yesterday the appointment that had so had to take and the next started drugs I had to take some antibiotics and painkillers the concept of hell either had to have my first injection the injection will go on so when you stop taking the pill then and that's start the injections I used to keep taking injections all the way up until like two days before egg collection because this seeker here this stuff turns off your hormones it's not very nice and then like I have an ultrasound to just check what everything looks like on the inside and that some of the stimulation start so that'll be going from one injection day to two injections a day and that should be on the 29th and then another what drives on so you check how many eggs I've got growing and to check and what they inside or like the thing with my womb looks like then this is going to be the Monday I just can have loss it will look see how many eggs I've got see if everything looks ok then we're going to do the trigger shop in Monday evening that's like 36 hours before egg collection that's like simulating am luteinizing hormone and which is going to release all the eggs and then like just for the eggs would like do to naturally be released they go in and collect them all on the Wednesday you hey guys so um it's a few weeks later and um have an embryo back in um so they collected it right so let's start with my lack trigger shot then luteinizing hormone now I lit this up in the textbook no textbook this kind of like one needle and an ovary know like how hard it is oh no what happen for my derivative shot I had to have five injections totaling four mils of liquid now I don't know if you ever like had to do injections before that is a lot page like so much and I have straight tablets as well I was kind of like I'm bruised I'm bloated I'm so uncomfortable and I'm in such a foul and horrible horrible movies they witless you don't want to be anywhere near me at the moment and then I drove this dog to where I so I'm starting to feel like a lot better but like last week was just just bad and one's really lucky that I knew our two days a week now because it was just not not a fun week and anyway so I went in to have my surgery to collect the eggs the other thing textbooks don't tell you they're in total for this IVF now I have quite a lot of things done but I have had five operations um that's quite a lot obviously with each operation there's a lot of risk is not massive not a massive risk but there is risk death with each operation so that's another downside to IVF I didn't mention earlier not big risk but still Grammy risk um so they collected 16 eggs and eight I kept and eight I donated someone else you can't reduce that own eggs my husband's sperm was injected into the eggs and seven of the eggs survived five of the eggs fertilized so that then nucleus from the egg and a nucleus from the sperm fuse together and started dividing three of the eggs survived three two day five which is when they get put back in one was put back in and two have grown in the freezer for youth in later date and then I have to wait um a week before your pregnancy test fingers crossed

35 Replies to “IVF πŸ˜₯ πŸ’” My personal heartbreak”

  1. I'm watching this after I watched your baby's video….Honestly, I'm soooooo happy:):):) you'll always be in my prayers. You're such a wonderful person who is helping sooo many people. I really hope everything goes well for you.

  2. I'm 16 and my doctor said I might have PCOS however she said that I could wait to have an ultrasound and blood tests. I decided to wait for 6 months to see how things go but my mum wants me to have the blood tests because its better to be safe than sorry if i want to have children in the future, but I really don't know what to do or what I want in 10+ years time..

  3. Genuinely wish I had teachers like you at my school. It's amazing how you're so comfortable within yourself and can open yourself up and seem to genuinely love what you're doing

  4. Crying tears of joy for you when I saw the positive result at the end.
    I now realise that this was posted last year and you're due very soon. Wishing you all the joy and happiness in the world.
    Thank you so much for making videos x

  5. I wish we had teachers like you when I was at school, that doesn’t mean to say my teachers were bad, far from it but perhaps not as good at explaining things as you appear to be. Although having said that I did get 8 GCSE at A-C, including double Science but not unfortunately Maths. For every subject apart from Maths I was either in top set or middle but due to my disabilities coupled with a teacher that didn’t really seem to care I got a grade F in Maths but strangely two C’s in Science and I did do an equivalent qualification at college to give me enough Maths to get me into Uni.
    I studied computing and graduated with a first class degree. I am now studying a PhD related to design research and I’m doing okay but I would love to re-sit my GCSE Maths one day. I think I just need a lot of specialist teaching where that’s concerned.

    Anyway I’m in my final year of my PhD and am managing to do it despite my physical disabilities and my mental health problems. I just wanted to say keep up the good work and I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and future endeavours.

    Kind regards,


  6. Good Luck! Thank you for being strong and making a video on the topic. I feel much more aware and I'm sure it will help do many people xxxx

  7. Prayers to you and your family. I wish you all the best but CONGRATS MISS, YOU'RE AN AMAZING SURVIVOR. LOTS OF LOVE❀️❀️

  8. Awh miss congratulations I hope it all works out well!! Thank you for sharing this emotional journey x

  9. Thanks for sharing your emotional and painful journey of IVF with us and congratulations on the positive outcome.

  10. Thank you for sharing this…it must have been very difficult. Both you and your husband have obviously been through some very difficult and emotional upheavals. As a science teacher myself it is amazingly important to make that human connection with what science can make possible. I wish you and your family health and happiness for the future. πŸ‘Ά

  11. Congratulations!! My mum had me through ivf but has had 2 miscarriages! – they say money can't buy happiness but it really can:) congrats x

  12. Yay…. much love to you. The ex and I couldn't have a baby so he found a woman who could give him one I won't drone on about that he was a fool. People would say to me when you having a baby?! Your the only one without a baby! Don't you want babies?! Are you baron?! Like people would post ultrasound pictures of a turkey or pretend they are pregnant as an April fools joke and I would come home a cry. I just accepted that it's not meant to be for now I still have time. This video will help so many. I too am a twin and my god I don't know how my mum didn't run for the hills. She has terrible back pain and hip pain and I'm not surprised my sister was a meaty baby. Hahaha. I'm so pleased for you. Put those feet up relax and enjoy this time.

  13. Good luck! It's honestly amazing how you've been basically teaching AND doing videos and dealing with a bunch of insensitive teenagers, I'm shocked towards how amazingly you're handling this!

  14. I'm so happy for you, congratulations! I understand the process so much more now so thank you. I wish you all the best too πŸ’•

  15. Stay strong, I'll pray for you and hope everything works out. Even using your own experience to help others is so lovely πŸ˜€ tysm!!I'm really confused about my period in winter my period Stops from October until about January/February every year but during this time I get really really sharp shooting pains for like a second that's sometimes make me yelp because it hurts and happpen's fast and it's making me wonder weather it could be something to do with fertility ? What do you think ? Xx

  16. As someone who's a product of IVF, I'm really thankful that you made this, helps me to understand the pain my mum went through trying to have me. Stay strong x

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