Miscarriage: A Story Of Hope | 5 Ways To Choose JOY!



everybody welcome to another miscarriage video this is going to be another video in the miscarriage series and I'm really excited about this one I'm excited to share this with you guys I hope that you find it very practical and something that you can kind of apply to your day-to-day life so in this video I'm going to be talking about 5 ways to choose joy something that I really kind of had this realization of when I miscarried why is joy a lot of times does always come easily and it doesn't come naturally and I feel like I had this realization like joy is a choice and it's a choice that we are either going to decide to fight for or to let go of and and before I miscarried oh it's on myself you know it's a very joyful person I love my life I love i I just have so much to be thankful for and thankfully I've never struggled with depression or anything like that and so to me joy just came naturally and of course it doesn't mean I didn't have hard days right but overall like when I look back on my year I would think that was a good year and so when I miscarried I realized you know and it kind of gave me heart for people who are struggling with depression to excite joy doesn't always come naturally to the noise I don't know I feel like I want to be joyful and sometimes I in fact want to be the very opposite and so I hope this video gives you guys practical ways to choose joy on a day-to-day basis and like I said before that doesn't mean and you're not going to have pain and brokenness along with the joy but I do believe that those two things can code best and coincide with one another I'm going to go ahead and get into the video and I hope that this really blesses you guys I hope that no matter where you're on or where at in your water you can find this to be something that you can apply to your day to day life no matter if you are feeling horribly broken right now and you're in a lot of pain or if you even find yourself feeling joy and I hope that this just kind of gives you a deeper way to dig into joy and to really fight for it and to choose it so the first way that I found to choose joy might seem kind of coloring to and the first way that I would say is to acknowledge your pain because I felt like and I've mentioned this in a video before where if something painful happened I'm the first person to admit that I would and try to throw distractions in my waist that I wouldn't have to feel it I wouldn't have to focus on it that kind of a thing I was always like my coping mechanism growing up and and this like I I think I've mentioned another video this was something you know having a miscarriage or something that I could ignore that I couldn't have enough distractions to where I couldn't feel it so I found that when I started feeling like all of a sudden the tears we're about to start streaming out because before I would just bite my tongue try to move on try to be strong and I found that when I really acknowledged the amount of pain that I was in and I just allowed myself to really feel it and allowed myself to cry it out make gave me so much like a breakthrough and I just felt like that I could really grab on to the next thing worse if I continued trying to distract myself or you know that kind of a thing I just felt like there was no moving on like I was going to be fighting it all day I would be fighting the pain all day long whereas when I acknowledge the pain I could just feel it I allow myself to feel it allow myself to cried out if I needed to allow myself to you know land bed for a minute if I needed to but when I when I truly acknowledge the pain and just felt it that's when I could kind of fill it and then keep going that's something that I hope that makes sense to you guys but it was such a life changer for me cuz I just realized okay okay to feel this much pain it's okay that I you know I'm completely broken right now that's okay and I don't want to ignore that I don't want to pretend like it's not happening I just want to feel it I know that that's okay to be feeling and like I said when when I truly felt it I truly acknowledged the pain that's when I it would take me you know however long would say 30 minutes or an hour to just feel it and to be sad and to cry and know that that's okay but then I could go on with the rest of it's like almost like I don't know it just gave me like this freedom to be able to like get it out there and then you know keep going on with my day the second thing that I've also talked about another video but is very very important is I saw like a really strong way to fight like sorrow and sadness and pain is to come at it with a spirit of thankfulness and to start listing out because when you feel super low and you feel super broken you know like I said first off acknowledge that you're feeling that way acknowledge the pain know that it's okay and but then you know you don't want to get stuck there you don't want to um let that be your and resolve right and so the so the next thing would be to start and I felt like even out loud just starting to say things that I'm thankful for things that are going right in my life rather than focusing on the things that aren't and that really really helps I've encouraged you to do that even just to speak it out loud even if you can only think of the fact that you are breathing right now you know start with that and let it kind of flow from there and it really will shift your heart into into a better place so the third thing which I've kind of already touched on but is to realize that joy is a choice and sometimes you have to fight for your joy and sometimes and it doesn't always come easy and you have to know that that's okay and if you're in a place where you're really feeling like you're struggling to fill that joy or should I'd like to find your joy know that that's okay but I saw it I felt like when I was struggling with this when I realized the fact that I have to make a choice if I want to pursue joy because that takes a lot of strength when you are feeling broken you're feeling weak and naturally I wanted to just land that all day and that was that and there were days where I had to do that because there was nothing else that I could do but when I wanted to continue on you know with the healing process and I just realized you know joy is a fight and it honestly it can be a hard fight sometimes and you know we hear that verse the joy of the Lord is my strength and so when you feel like you're just emptied out of joy you just still weak and so if you're feeling that I know what you're going through but I want to tell you that fight for it because it's worth it and when you know when you pray and you ask God to you know renew your joy you know that was one of the main things that I was praying for the entire time from day one I'm finding out that I had miscarried you know it was a few month process where I really felt like I had gotten my grounding again but that was one thing that I really declared over this year and really ask God for was to show me a new level of joy and I can tell you that today you know months later that I honestly never I didn't know if I was going to fill the full capacity of what joy is but I can tell you that now today like where I'm at right now I feel like I laughed deeper I the joy just runs deeper and I felt like brokenness that's a beautiful gift that comes from brokenness is that when you feel joy fill it to the fullest capacity and so know that it's worth fighting for and when you have to when you're feeling sad and need to acknowledge the pain and you've you know been thankful and said what you're thankful for but you're still not feeling maybe that great then just just acknowledge the fact that joy is a choice and that you're either going to have to put up a fight or you're going to have to fall back and it's kind of one of the other and so I'm encouraging you to fight for it because it's so worth it and pray for it because God is faithful and he will renew your joining the fourth thing I want to talk about which is kind of fun is to give and there's something about giving that really transforms your heart especially I feel like when she went fighting for your joy I found calm I both found that win you know we were hurting and when I was hurting that when we were able to go give something to somebody it just like it just like washes over you this like feeling I just happiness and of joy it's like you can't even help it when you give to somebody when you go bring a meal to somebody or you go bring flowers to somebody and when you see the smile on your face doesn't have to be something extravagant right it doesn't have to be I'm going to give you this tag alone I'm just giving you know your time your presence or just small gifts to let somebody know that they mean a lot to you and when we did that it just got the focus off of what was going on in my head and like my own pain and when you get to somebody even if you get to somebody who's also in pain and it really just brings out unity and that communion and I just would encourage you you know even if it's going to spend time a food kitchen or a soup kitchen or you know going to give out things to the homeless or even just going to bring flowers to a friend that you've been thinking about or even writing a letter in the mail you know that barely costs anything but a stamp right writing letter in the mail you know really encouraging somebody I just would encourage you to get creative doesn't have to cost a lot of money but to give because I promise you that when you give you will just have so much joy and you're not only blessing that person but it's such a blessing to you as well the fifth thing is more of a practical thing and this one can kind of go to the wayside if you're not careful but this one is to make sure that you're taking care of yourself because I swear there's nothing like getting out of the shower feeling all clean even you know putting on an outfit if you've been in PJs for the last week you know whatever it is just make sure that you're taking care of yourself make sure that if you're you know indulging in desserts like I was like indulging in chocolate make sure that you're giving yourself you know good nutrition to say you can actually feel like your body feels good and because you don't want your body to be feeling all like groggy and horrible and while you're also in all this emotional pain so really take care of yourself I felt like for me that it wasn't something that I was like I'm gonna go get the shower and get dressed like I wasn't super excited about it at first but then when it was done I was like ah looks so much better so really take care of yourself and don't forget to be nice to yourself be nice to your body also exercising is a great way to kind of you know releases endorphins get your body feeling joyful again so make sure to exercise even if it's going out for a walk like I mentioned my small group video this week there's something really really really healing about morning light so go take a walk in the morning go just even if you have to just step outside your doorway for ten minutes in the morning and I mean any time of the day is fine but there's something really like special about morning light and so I would encourage you try to get some exercise and even if you know it doesn't be going to the gym because I was like pretty much the last thing that I wanted to be doing during that season just going for a walk or you know even laying out on the Sun now that it's getting to be summertime or going out in your backyard or whatever you can do you know going out to a coffee shop and just sitting outside just something where you're getting outside you're feeling the light you're not feeling you know all like crammed in your house or your apartment or wherever you're at so that's the fifth thing is to take care of yourself make sure you're taking care of your body and and your health because like I said you don't want to be feeling physically tired while you're already emotionally tires if you can physically feel good and that's going to really help in this healing process um so those are my five things and I just want to wrap up by saying ultimately that your joy is sourced from Jesus and if you feel like you are completely lacking in that area right now if you're going through a hard season obviously you know I've been there I stole your pain and if you've gone through a miscarriage I know what that feels like and I'm here to tell you that today I am walking with so much more joy than I ever thought possible and like I said I really prayed that God would just show me a new level of joy this year and a deeper level you know something that would just blow my mind and I feel like I'm walking it out and it feels really good and I just want to give you hope that if you maybe just found out that you miscarried or and you're right in that beginning stage of the healing process I just want you know that it will get better also I just want to tell you too that you don't have to feel guilty about having joy and a hard time I think that's a pretty common thigh of feeling like I shouldn't fill I feel happy but I probably shouldn't feel happy because this terrible thing has happened don't feel guilty about feeling joyful like I said acknowledge the pain acknowledge the brokenness and then fight for your joy because it's worth fighting for so all of those five things really encouraged you guys and it's something that you could kind of take home be practical with even if you have to write those five things down I'll put them in a list on the description box below but even if you have to write them down and stick them on your fridge just to remind yourself I wouldn't really I would really really encourage you guys to do that because I wish that I did that from the beginning but I'm obviously happy that I watched through it I had to learn those things because now I can share them with you guys so thank you guys so much for watching I hope that you guys are able to find some joy from these tips today and I will see you guys in my next video bye

3 Replies to “Miscarriage: A Story Of Hope | 5 Ways To Choose JOY!”

  1. I just found your channel! I absolutely love your videos. You are so encouraging and I have added your videos into my daily Jesus time!

  2. Thank you for uploading this video. You are so brave and give me so positive energy. It will not be easy to fight for the joy but I'll definitely fight for it and find thankful things. ❤️❤️

  3. Hello! This is the first time I have stumbled upon your channel! There is an infertility/adoption conference called Choose Joy!! 💗. We experienced a miscarriage last year after years and years of infertility 😢

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