MOVING ON AFTER A MISCARRIAGE



my god I can't believe I to share that information hey y'all welcome back to my channel so yesterday I basically found out that my husband is gonna whisk me away this weekend he has planned a weekend trip for us and I can't wait for you to see where we're going a lot of you have probably been here before and I've never been it's a really popular thing to do when I tell people I've never been here they're usually really really surprised it's the night before we're leaving Friday night I just wanted to do a quick little update on how I'm doing uh physically I think I'm doing pretty well better than I thought I was the only thing is like I know this can like come from like being depressed or being stressed I just like don't want to eat and it's really like the first time in my whole life where I get what it means to be in the state of mind where you just it's not that you don't want to eat but you genuinely just don't have an appetite for food like I don't think I've had dinner in probably four days now so with that I have lost a few pounds they probably needed to come up anyways but I don't know my I don't know if it's the hormone change that's affecting my appetite or if it's just my mental health that's affecting my appetite also I do want to say thank you so much for the outpour of love and support on my last video like you could probably tell if you sat there and like really analyzed my video my voice was completely shaking like in the beginning my voice was literally shaking I was extremely nervous to upload it I knew it was gonna be really raw and I just kept telling myself nothing bad could come from being honest nothing bad can come from being open nothing bad could come from trying to share your story with others to help others and you guys the comments on video are like I got I texted my mom and I was like you have to go read out the comments on my last video because they're just beautiful like it's literally just people that are being so kind and so caring and empathetic and if you're one of the people that took the time to message me on Instagram or message me on Facebook or comment on my video you have no idea how much that means to me and I commented back to every single one of them because even days after all this happened I'll get like a comment that trickles in and you have no idea what one nice thing will do for me in this state of mind that I'm in right now it's just insane thank you so much for all the love thank you so much for going out of your way to let a complete stranger know that I'm not alone I literally appreciate that so much if you had decided to subscribe and say I'm so glad you're here we're going on this adventure this weekend Matt told me yesterday that he was taking me and the first thing I thought was I need to vlog it like I need my new friends on my channel to see that it's still rough around here but I'm pushing through and I just wanted to share my adventures with you so if you have subscribed and you're a follower and so glad you're here to go on these journeys with me that I'm documenting and thank you so much for your support hey buggy this TV is so loud um so tomorrow I don't even know what weather gonna be like tomorrow Alexa me after you know what's gonna happen I feel like I should wear a flannel where we're going tomorrow I'm gonna be wearing this acid-wash flannel with some black leggings cuz leggings are pants and then I got these brand new Steve Madden shoes better just the quilted black leather and I got them from TJ Maxx actually yesterday they were not $7.99 I don't know where that tag came from they were only 35 bucks and they're super cute so guys I just wanted to share with you something that I read that was really good for before pregnancy during pregnancy and after pregnancy is to take prenatal vitamins I wanted to share which ones that I've been taking and I've literally been loving them the pink stork total prenatal if you look at the bottom there it says four before during and after pregnancy I will probably continue to take these for years to come even though you're not pregnant prenatal vitamins can be very good especially now with my hormones have kind of all been all over the place I just feel like that's what's best for me right now and I'm really loving them another thing that I've changed in my life for my mental health physical health is I'm not drinking alcohol so what you saw me pour was actually a vitamin water zero it's a xxx flavor and I love it I just put it in a fun glass alyssum eyes and I walk around my house like I'm Kim Kardashian but really I'm just sober sali my face is so oily it's been the longest day at work and I haven't showered yet so y'all might think that I'm completely strange and I probably like that's kind of embarrassing that I'm about to tell you this but the day that I found out that I was miscarrying I came home and my cousin brought me this little stuffed animal that was like a cynthy animal so it smelt like really good inside she actually brought it for my classroom and I was just like so emotional and so much was going on obviously that day and it was laying on my counter and I just remember I just like grabbed it and like took the biggest breath of it and it was just so comforting to me and it was so soft it's just weird like what you do when you're so vulnerable it's almost like going back to those like childlike things for like comfort I have been sleeping with it every single night it smells like a dream it's just so comforting the smell even whenever I like wake up in the mornings I like my neck will smell like it and Matt will just like roll over and be like oh my god you smell so good it's just like a really cozy smell I wanted to tell you this because whenever I posted my video on my youtube channel one of my neighbors across the street like we've never actually met in person like came over to my house immediately Matt answered the door and it's a little bit later he came in here and he was like our neighbor just came over here and she was so nice and she had been through not the same thing her situation was much much more heartbreaking she recently lost her baby girl and I think she was like 20-something weeks maybe maybe even farther along it truly is heartbreaking I will post a link to her blog post down below she has pretty raw photos in it it's very raw and very real so I just wanted to let you know that before you click on it anyway she brought this bracelet to me I don't know if you could see I put it around the Tigers neck like as soon as I got it and it says miracles happened and then on the back it says pray for Sadie and on the inside is like the link to her blog and she just was so sweet and it was just so comforting like I posted my video I kind of like retreated a little bit and was a little I mean it's a huge deal whenever you put yourself out there and that was the first response I got it was somebody knocking on my door to come tell me that I'm not alone in that they're here for me at any moment that I need them and they're right across the street I mean that was literally my first sign that told me it's gonna be okay and you putting yourself out there is actually a really good thing also I named him sesame like I call him sesame because that was the size of our baby I was the size of a sesame seed so this is sesame and I don't know how long sesame will be with me but he comforts me a lot and sesame will probably be in my first born child crib one day oh my I can't believe I to share that information all right guys I'm gonna go ahead and shower it so in bed and I will see you in the morning for our adventures I cannot wait Matt really knew that I needed this I don't even know where we are no how are y'all doing

7 Replies to “MOVING ON AFTER A MISCARRIAGE”

  1. Girl, your strength is sooo amazing! You touched my heart when you said "Nothing bad can come from being honest"! I've thought of you all week… hoping and praying that you were doing ok! And, Sober Sally, I hope you had an amazing time on your trip!😉 Sending you BIG hugs, girly!

  2. Omg at first I thought your glass was a punch bowl hahaha it looks so huge on video before you picked it up. I was like wtf, that was a wine glass? LOL

  3. I love that your neighbor came right over 😭💗 The human connection is so amazing. Also, something you said on this vlog was so empowering to me… “Nothing bad can come from being honest.” I needed that reminder so badly. Sending you all of my love still! You have been on my heart all week friend💗💗

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *