My Infertility Journey, Miscarriage & Channel Intro



hi guys welcome to my channel I'm BIC and today I thought I would just start off with a quick introduction around why I've started this channel and what you can look forward to seeing and then I'll do a bit of a recap on my fertility journey so far so the main purpose of my channel is to talk about my infertility journey so far what we're going to do next and hopefully help a few people along the way infertility and miscarriage is still one of those two very topics that nobody talks about after my first miscarriage the doctor explained to me just how common miscarriages and I was completely shocked to learn that one in four pregnancies will result in miscarriage I'd love to get people sharing their stories and connecting on here so they don't have to go through this journey alone so as I mentioned we've been trying to have a baby now for two and a half years we were married in 2017 and we knew we wanted to start a family straight away I'm almost 36 and Petra is almost 45 we've probably met a bit later than most couples do we've been together for six six years now and like when we got married we were like yeah come on we don't have any time to waste let's get this show on the road but we really didn't have any idea of just how difficult it was going to be and then four months later we were pregnant and we couldn't believe it like they say that it takes like a healthy couple 12 months is normal time but what it takes to conceive so we were really grateful super excited we're starting our family I was tracking my cycles on the fertility friend app and using the clear blue ovulation sticks every month and I think it's really helped actually I still remember how excited we were when we first seen those two lines on the stick and I've actually still got the stick now so we went after the doctor had blood tests done then went for our six-week scan which is a dating skin not everybody has this but my first pregnancy I really wanted to go along and get it done and everything turned out fine it was great everything was measuring at the right size and everything and then at 10 weeks we had the nipped or ni PT test done which checks for abner abnormal chromosomes and you can also find out the sex so we had that done got the results back a week later so I was 11 weeks by this stage and everything checked out fine and we found out it was a girl and what was so excited I ever went out and bought like a couple of doctors and stuff because I was just so excited and then we had our 12-week scan and this is where the heartache started so we walked into our 12-week scan thinking like you know everything was great it had a bit of morning sickness but nothing to you know troublesome no problems at all and then I could tell straight away as soon as she like put the ultrasound thing on me and I could tell by the look on her face and unfortunately there was no heartbeat so she'd stopped developing and around 11 weeks I think and it's just one of those things unfortunately and we were just absolutely heartbroken so we had what's called a missed miscarriage I hadn't shown any signs of miscarriage at all I didn't have any bleeding or anything like that and unfortunately just the baby stopped developing and the heart stops beating so a couple of days later at going to hospital and have a DNC or a dilation and curettage and if it's when they remove all the tissue from your uterus to say like the whole experience was one of the most traumatic things that I've ever been through in my life and I would wouldn't wish it upon anybody and it really took me quite a while to get over it and even now thinking about it and talking about it sometimes I get a little bit choked up or I think about dates like oh how old would she have been now and comparing two friends that were pregnant at the same time and had babies and it can be a really really hard thing to go through I was lucky that I already had annually booked in at the time so I got to have a couple of weeks off and just really look after myself and I had some friends actually open up to me that I hadn't realized I've gone through miscarriage themself because again it's like so taboo and people don't talk about it but yeah I had some friends that had opened up and talked to me about their losses and that really helps just to be able to talk to people that are going through similar things with you after the after surgery it took a couple of months for my cycle to get back to normal and by the time that come around we were ready to get trying again and then Feb 2008 in so six months after the miscarriage we were pregnant again couldn't believe it we were really excited but we were cautiously optimistic at the same time having a miscarriage can really suck the joy out of pregnancy don't get me wrong black we were really excited but that still like just that little bit that in the back of your head saying what if so again I went off had the routine HCG test through the GP to confirm the pregnancy and that come back fine and then you follow it up with another couple of HCG tests usually it needs to double every 48 hours I think two days needs to double for it to be confirmed just like healthy pregnancy so given my previous miscarriage the doctors look pretty careful about monitoring that and that was all fine so then at 6 or 6 and a half weeks I went off and had a dating scan done and unfortunately they found that I was measuring behind I was really certain of my dates because I tracked them really carefully and used ovulation stick so I knew like when I've roughly went out ovulation and when we'd had sex and that sort of thing so it was impossible for me to be out five weeks and yeah unfortunately the sack that they measure was there but it was small there was no heartbeat which you do usually get to see at six and a half seven weeks so they told me to come back in another week and check and see what was happening if there'd been any improvement by this stage I just really didn't have any positive feelings and I was gutted that I was on my way to another miscarriage and then over the next week all my pregnancy symptoms started to disappear sore boobs nausea tiredness like all of that just started to go and I started to feel back to myself again and I thought oh this definitely can't be a good sign the following week I went back and seen the special scan like it's a special women's scanning clinic and they tried to do another dating scan and unfortunately nothing had changed from the previous one so the fetus had stopped developing it was very early on in the initial stages probably only at lack for four and a half five weeks or something really and unfortunately I had to go off for another day as a procedure and this time they actually gave me the option to have the tissue tested for chromosome abnormalities I guess because miscarriage is so common they generally don't tell you to do that the first time around but then because I had a second one they suggested that it could be a good idea and that actually come back with chromosome abnormalities which was interesting and is the reason why that it didn't develop into a healthy pregnancy so by now it's March 2018 we've been officially trying to have a baby for 12 months and had two miscarriages in that time and it had taken its toll on me physically mentally and emotionally and my husband Pedro as well and I gained 10 kilos I just really wasn't in a very happy place and we decided that it was in our best interest just to like back off the pressure a bit and let's just try and chill out go on holidays and not think about the whole baby-making thing for a couple of months so then a few months later we were back at it again oh I've been refreshed and trying to put my losses behind me and I actually also started seeing a psychologist to deal with the emotions from that as well what other things happened our life as well we've bought a new house so that was exciting I quit my job that I was in for 15 years that I absolutely hated and stressed me out and I was on my way to starting and new business so it lots of exciting things happening and we just felt ready again so it was probably around June or July 2018 we started trying again like properly trying like tracking every cycle and peeing on ovulation sticks every month and come on babe we gotta go and like this went on for quite a few months and every month it was negative result negative as well negative result and then around March this year we went and saying that JPM we thought I gave her a rundown she was a new GP actually new GOP talk about our whole fertility sort of journey what we'd been through so far and she agreed that it was time to go and see a specialist especially due to our age as well so we agreed that yeah righto let's go and do this so we got our referral to the specialist and rang out to make an appointment it was a couple of weeks wait which isn't too bad I thought but then a week before our appointment I actually got a positive pregnancy test can you believe it um it was quite light and like I'm just really cautious now I'm not sure that I'll ever be comfortable whenever I fall pregnant until the very end but anyway so the first test I did was quite light the next couple of days it got a little bit darker slowly which is a good sign that my HCG is increasing but then it started to get lighter and lighter every day until it completely disappeared and that's what's known as a chemical pregnancy I'm not sure exactly why it's got such a weird name chemical pregnancy must be a reason for it but it's essentially just a very early miscarriage so before you've even gotten to the stage of seeing it on an ultrasound screen you probably couldn't see anything even if you went at that stage because it's so minut so we were like yep it's let's go see this fertility specialist and see how he can help us so we found a fertility specialist that was fantastic and I actually have a history of endometriosis from when I was younger and I had surgery to have that removed years and years ago and the fertility specialist that I found he actually specializes that that as well so after our first appointment he suggested that I'd go back and have another surgery to have double check for the endometriosis have my tubes flushed and just a general check around so I had that done within a couple of weeks that was great he booked me in straight away recovery was pretty I had a few days in bed but that was about it and then he wanted me to rest up for a month and then we went back and seen him in April or May I remember now and so just a few months ago and he suggested that we try a couple of months on climbing which is a tablet that you can take that increases makes your body increase certain hormones to help ovulate now my problem I don't think had really been ovulation before I tracked my ovulating every month and probably 10 out of 12 cycles I had confirmed ovulation but I do have really long cycles as well and varied from sort of 35 to 45 days so he was thinking that possibly some months I'm not actually ovulating so clomid could be beneficial so we're like yep whatever let's give it a go so I took Chloe for one month and then he wanted to get a blood test to confirm ovulation and then go back in theme so we did that had sex on all the right days and still nothing happened so when I went back to seeing he's like now change my mind I think you should go straight to IVF so that's where we are now and I'm actually like really excited about it I don't know if it's normal to be excited about IVF but I feel like it's been over two and a half years now that we've been trying to have this baby and it's just not happening and as I said I'm almost 36 and you wouldn't think that that's old but believe it or not in the fertility world that's like an advanced maternal age which is scary where I've got enough our first appointment tomorrow of a series of many which I'm going to talk about in a later video and I'll take you all through the process we want to document the whole thing so you can along on our journey of IVF so I hope you'll stick around and watch the upcoming videos of our IVF journey which hopefully for those of you that are going through infertility or also going through IVF hopefully be really interesting for you to watch and I would love you to subscribe and drop a comment below and tell me all about your infertility journey as little as much as you want to share because I know that like it is a really personal thing and not everybody wants to talk about it completely get that but drop a comment below introduce yourself I'd love to connect to as many people as I can and yeah we'll see

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