My IUI and postpartum Journey

I want to talk a little bit about my process getting pregnant I was gonna wait until I looked all good and got my hair done and my nails done the reality is that's not reality shout out a mission went for making sure everybody knows that it's been hectic and I don't want to put out a video where I'm all put together and a month after giving birth and that's you know that's not the truth that's not real I wanted to talk about the process and and a few people have asked me how we went through with it how how well we chose to do the procedure and how I dealt with it it's not just what you're doing it's the journey it's the stress and what you do to get through that we decided to do AI UI which you can do IVF and or you do our UI what we did was I you I I you I what that is is it's more like it's just it's kind of inseminating and then hoping for the best we started our journey in Manhattan and I was getting ultrasounds to see where my healthy eggs were which ovary how many healthy eggs I have and it took the first one that we did I didn't have any and then let me get a better angle one is that means that I didn't have any healthy eggs let's try next month I have I have PCOS so I don't get my period every month I did get it the next month again I didn't have any any healthy eggs not one and buy healthy eggs they have to be a certain size for them to inseminate you and mine weren't growing big enough so they didn't consider them a healthy egg then the third time I went she says listen it's not happening naturally you have to go on hormones which she then told me about clomid clamed I took she said that you know to take him orally Thera pill and they'll help money my eggs grow to a healthy a healthy size and hopefully more than one so I went to my my like I know and I asked her about it and she said oh we do that here and I was I didn't know I was going all the way ahead and so that kind of changed things but I didn't I didn't get my period after that for six months so it kind of I kind of stopped everything it put me in a really sad place just that all the news together I guess wasn't it just I needed a break so I took a break I had met up with an old friend from church and I told her my situation and that I hadn't gotten my my period for six months and we kind of touched it we just took a moment we held hands and we prayed on it she prayed for me laid her hands on me and just prayed that it would happen and I we get my period and probably now we get pregnant and literally the next day I got my period no joke next day and that's when I decided to go to Mike I know and talk to them more about what I can do so they wound up putting the implement and the cool man was for a week they didn't a sonogram to see if I had any healthy eggs and I had one and it's expensive to get the vials it's expensive and I asked the nurse I said is it is it worth it to go through with the procedure after and with only one good egg and she said she said all you need is one and she was right so I said okay we'll go through with it after that they gave me what's called an H CG shot which what that does is it makes sure that you ovulate within the next 24 hours and what how they do which I'm pretty sure it's like standard procedure a lot of most of the people do it this way they inseminate twice so just to make sure that to up the chances because with IU IU only it's only a 20% chance and with IVF it's much higher it's like 80 or something like that so that's what we did and we waited I think it's a blood work done oh my gosh waiting waiting for that pregnancy test is the longest two weeks you will go through the longest and they tell you don't take a pregnancy test I took like five maybe ten I don't know fifteen don't judge me oh it was it was torture and obviously with the they telling you not to take it because with the HCG shot it'll it'll give you a false positive and that's that's that has to be heartbreaking thinking that you know it works and then the blood the blood tests tell you different so I understand but I haven't I don't have patience but hearing hearing them call me and say that my blood work came back and then I'm pregnant was amazing me and my wife were we had just come out of an appointment for her and we were in the car and we just we cried and it was it was nice there's only half you know that's it was only the beginning but it was that's that's like the medical part the medical part is like medical you know it is what it is that's I you I that's what you do that's what you go through but that's the medical journey the personal journey is is a lot deeper it's it's stressful it's stressful it's heartbreaking when you hear news that you know you might not get pregnant you're that you know you're gonna have trouble getting pregnant it's it's stressful it's very difficult to hear these things it's stressful going to the doctor's so often you know your body doesn't wait for you you have to go when you gotta go it's stressful mentally what got me through it was a lot of meditation and prayer I getting through the days before the insemination my wife is is it was very supporting she just was very understanding of the situation and my hormones and the craziness the hormones the hormones are gonna make you tired moody I don't really like exhaustion that's the only way I can accept I was exhausted and then after after the insemination we waiting those two weeks was terrible but I have so I I do hair and makeup and I had a client who told me I went through IVF and she the odds were against her and she told me that she meditated every day every day she meditated and she envisioned she envisioned the whole process from start to end from being inseminated to giving birth to the baby to a healthy beautiful baby and you know taking care of that baby so and and just envisioning every every part through it so I that's what I did I every single morning I would get up and I would meditate and I would envision the sperm hitting the egg the egg from taking to the uterus the the cells growing into a baby and – you know – my ninth month and and me giving birth to a beautiful baby and I do that every single morning and I prayed I prayed Pryor helped me tremendously I pray for a healthy baby and for everything to just work out and be okay and that that helps me a lot that helps me get through the stress and the stress of the hormones being washed in me and my wife argued through through some of it and it's gonna happen you just have to take a breath in and and kind of step back and realize like you know it's gonna happen you're gonna you're gonna feel anxious you're gonna feel you're gonna feel angry at times you're gonna feel sad at times you're gonna like every emotion like there was emotions that I didn't even know that I had but I had that's what it does see you like I I'm I could be crazy but I was crazy and I guess it gets to you I guess see a partner just I would I would have a talk I talked to my wife before we started all the hormones and got pregnant I thought sir I said I'm sorry for what you're about to endure because I knew it was gonna be crazy we didn't think it was gonna be that crazy but it was but it's worth it and in the end a baby I had a few people already hit me up and asked me my process and and what had what I did my first thing that I always go to is it's not about you know doctors can explain the medical procedure and what you're going to go through but mentally and and personally and that that's that's what they don't prepare you for and that's that's what I'm trying to get out there is it's not easy it's not easy physically but mentally it's even harder and it's okay it's okay to be sad it's okay to feel anxious and get anxiety and I'll be talking about I'll be talking about of that I was having anxiety and depression and postpartum and it's real it is it is real we go through it people so I'll be talking about that as well and just getting through that stage it seems like if you don't know if it's gonna last forever it seems like it's gonna last forever but it doesn't it gets better I promise and my story ends with a healthy happy little boy okay and

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