hey everyone I hope everyone's doing okay thank you so much for tuning in again to boat Libre if you are new here Hey Girl hey go on and click the subscribe button I'd love to have you as a member of my YouTube family all right also if you're new here if you're really not sure what my channels about I focus on all things motherhood I do cleaning videos I do hauls I do vlogs I do anything on that spectrum so if that's the type of content that you like please go and hit the subscribe button like and comment below and let me know you're here I love to connect with you in the comment section okay so as you can see today I am kind of just chilling right now okay because I wanted this to be more of kind of like feel like a conversation between you and I okay um I'm sitting on the floor in front of my couch because this is the cleanest area of my house right now and I will let you know why later but yeah my house is a mess so you're probably gonna get a cleaning video here real soon as well but um I wanna go on and jump in so it's been actually on my heart to discuss anxiety and more specifically postpartum anxiety and anxiety and motherhood the reason that I really want to discuss this is because this is something that I have struggled with and when I began struggling with anxiety I felt alone you know it was something that I really didn't feel like I had the space to discuss with anyone because I felt like I had to be strong and that happens a lot in motherhood right there's so many things that kind of are left unsaid or we don't talk about because we're supposed to be strong I mean it happens to everyone everybody goes through it but that is not always the best way to think about things especially something as serious as anxiety as it can have an impact on your for health so yeah I'm gonna go on and jump right yeah I believe I actually started struggling with anxiety as a child not knowing that that's what it was at all I always I remember being nervous in a lot of situations and having stomach pains when I would get in certain situations and it would bring on headaches and there were certain situations that I would actually feel my body trembling I didn't know what that was I just thought I was nervous about something and I really didn't know how to communicate that as a child you know to my parents to anyone so it's just something I kind of just deal with I just felt like that was just a part of me that's something that's something that would just happen when certain situations would arise as I grew older I learned to control it I learned to conceal it and I was able to do that for a while and private I would definitely have some struggles that I didn't share with anyone because the older I got the more I knew about the labels that would be attached to you if you appeared to struggle with certain things I learned to conceal a lot of things and kind of deal with things on my own praying of course and I'm not saying that prayer does not help but I don't see anything wrong with praying believing in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ not accepting that for your life but also having a therapist okay so I am an advocate for mental health in fast-forward on through college you know dealing with all those types of anxieties here and there I got married and had my first child all right so after having my first child you know you always hear about postpartum depression and but you don't hear about postpartum anxiety postpartum anxiety is a thing all right and that's what hit me and when it hit me it hit me hard and it took a long time for me to be able to find control in that just to kind of give you my experience with postpartum anxiety what I deal with what I felt immediately I feel a strong strong sense to want to protect my baby all right felt like I thought of everything that could happen to him and it wore in my mind I felt helpless and I may get emotional talking about this but yeah I I thought an overwhelming feeling that things were gonna happen to my son he had to go to the NICU the day after he was born because he had high bilirubin levels and as some of you know that produces jaundice so he had to go to thank you what we thought was gonna be like maybe one or two days under the light or something turned out to be ten days now I'm very well aware that some parents have babies that have to stand on EQ for longer lengths of time and some don't leave the NICU and when I say that I cannot imagine how those parents feel I can because those 10 days were the worst 10 days of my entire life I will never forget them that was when I realized that I was having a struggle like I cried every day numerous times each day yes I tried to keep myself busy you know talking to family I'm having people come visit him in the NICU and everything and he gave me so much joy because he was trying he was he was not showing that he was sick in any way so but in that timeframe I was just constantly thinking that something could happen to him I called the NICU all night long the nurses were used to me they knew that I was gonna be calling I did not sleep and it's not healthy for a new mom I do not see because I was calling all night because I felt I was just feeling like so many bad things were going to happen I immediately thought what if something happens to him what if something happens to me what if something happens to my husband and these are the thoughts that haunted me for so long and for those of you who've never struggled with anxiety it's like the best way that I can describe it is you have so many different thoughts so many different scenarios constantly constantly playing over and over and over and over and over in your head alright and to some people to at some point it can become debilitating and at one point I did get to that point my doctor at the time was not very I'm just gonna say that his bedside wasn't so great when it came to postpartum care so I'll be honest and say I did not seek help because I wasn't sure that's what I was experiencing I knew I wasn't experiencing postpartum depression if that makes any sense because I didn't want to cause me harm to myself or my baby I just I didn't know what I was experiencing at that point I didn't even know whose Hannam anxiety was a thing so I didn't really know what symptoms to look for I didn't really know what I was experiencing I just thought I was it's really hard to put it into words so I struggled with that for quite some time I was a stay at home mom with him until he was 8 months old and during that time I struggled with going out of the house I struggled with leaving him I did try I trusted you know my mom and my aunts and my grandmother with him but I wasn't leaving him with anybody ok if that meant that I wasn't going to have a social life that was fine with me because at that point I would have much rather been home with him and knew that he was okay rather than to leave him somewhere that I wasn't sure of his well-being and I will be worried the entire time that I would not be there with him so and I believe that standard for our moms but I I can honestly say for me it was it was just cranked up a little bit higher it wasn't that easy for me just to just to leave him with so many people know that I don't feel bad about but that's what I was experience when he was with my mom and my aunts and my grandmother I would still call all day long every day checking on him I knew he was in the best care but that was just that that's the way that I struggle with the anxiety did get to a point where I was able to calm those thoughts down that I was thinking about that I were that I was letting overwhelm me but when he turned 8 months old I went to work I started working and so then he entered it here and that was another beast so I've talked about this in some of my previous videos about the separation anxiety from leaving him in daycare and I truly believe that I had the most separation anxiety out of the two of us but he got sick off time so that hide my anxiety a lot because I just it was so hard I just remember that being so hard to continue to go to work each day no one that was taking my baby to daycare and I was like well he came home with this last week what is he gonna come home with this week are they not cleaning everything properly are they washing their hands when they're touching him are they clean what he eats with are they cleaning his bottles are they cleaning anything why is he getting so thick there was about maybe like a three month time span where it seemed like he was just getting sick all the time and my employer at the time my boss was actually we were actually really good friends and she was very good about letting me go get him and bring him to work with me or take him home or do anything that I needed to do for him and I remember my sister lived in the same town that I lived in at that time in I called her because I was calling her to see if she could watch him for me and I I was not sad at all it's just like when you have that anxiety and something hits and it hits you hard it's gonna come out in some way shape form or fashion it can be a panic attack it can be tears I don't know for me at that moment I remember calling her and saying hey can you watch him for me and I just burst into tears and it was uncontrollable I could not stop crying and I started having symptoms of like feeling like I was having a heart attack like my chest began to hurt I was having a hard time catching my breath and she was on the phone trying to tell me to calm down she's like it's gonna be okay I'm gonna get him don't worry about it and when I got off the phone with her I was just I had calmed myself down that moment I was just like Lord what is this why am I feeling like this like where did this come from and in that moment everything that I had been reading about anxiety you know you hear about anxiety I heard about it didn't really give it much thought I knew I was struggling with anxiety at this point and he was almost a year old okay so this started after I gave birth to him and it's continued at this point I knew what I was dealing with I started of course you know we Google everything that started researching online and a lot of the articles that I was reading in blogs that I reading I'm some written by moms some not written by moms a lot of things were they were aligned with what I was experiencing at that time that brought me to a point where I began to question my own security as a person and I believe that that is the trick of the enemy and kind of the way the world has brainwashed us to not focus so heavily on mental health so I did I went through this phase of I'm just gonna pray this thing off of me I'm not gonna worry about it and I did I prayed and I prayed and of course I mean I so struggled but I did realize that I needed to talk to someone to to get some things out to figure some things out okay so I talked to my husband about any he agreed he agreed 100% with me because he had been through they struggle with me from day one and he just he shared with me how he taught me changed and that was enough for me to want to seek out he really took about another year for me to kind of get everything under control so fast forward he turns to and the anxiety has definitely calmed down a lot I was able to be more active and have my own life outside of being a mom again and I started to feel like myself again I was I was happier alive the negative thoughts calm down I I found ways to dismiss those negative thoughts so when he was getting ready to turn 3 I found out that we were having baby number 2 and I can be 100% honest and say that I did not struggle with those things in my second pregnancy or after and that's such oh my gosh you you have no idea I thank God every day for that because I was able to enjoy it as far as anxiety goes especially in motherhood yes it does still come up on some occasions but now that I recognize it and I know what it looks like I know what it feels like I know how to tackle those things all right every one is different your experience with anxiety may not look like mine all right it may not look like someone else's that you hear about or that you read about but I'm here to tell you that if you have struggled with it if you're currently struggling with it I don't see anything wrong with you seeking out help because your mental health is important all right it can also take a toll on your physical health so if your mom a new mom or a seasoned mom and you struggle with anxiety take care of yourself all right whatever that looks like for you do it I do believe that a healthy mom is the best thing that you can give your babies that you can give your family all right not just your babies your your your partner your husband too so and your health is not just physical that's mentally emotionally as well so in self-care is a part of that so if you need to work out if you need to see your therapist if you need to go on a trip if you need to go hang out with your friends if you need to go in close door and take a hot bag you just go closed or just sit down do that keep yourself together girl do whatever you have to do to do that because dealing with anxiety um can make you feel alone it can make you feel like you are the only person that hears these thoughts and that struggles with this and then no one around you understands you it can make you feel like you're in a hole okay and that's not something that I would want someone to struggle with on their own especially if it's someone that's connected to me I really hope this video provided someone with some encouragement with some inspiration to care for yourself to take a look at yourself in if you're not feeling right about some things see what you need to do to recognize what that is okay if you are I'm gonna tag my facebook page down below but if you follow my facebook page I do a segment called mom talking my date on every other Monday of the month and one of my guest was actually a licensed professional counselor and we talked about mental health and motherhood so I'm going to link my Facebook down below and you can go and check out that conversation the whole purpose for me even starting this channel from the beginning was to provide some encouragement and motivation for other moms because you're not alone in your struggles in motherhood you're not alone and your triumphs in motherhood I would love to celebrate those with you you're not alone in any weird things that you experience in motherhood everybody is experiencing something okay everybody's going through something no one is perfect no matter how it may look on the outside or on social media no one's life is perfect so that's the whole purpose of boli Brit is for me to show you my authenticity and to encourage you to walk in your authenticity so that's it for today's video if you have not already please go on and subscribe to my channel I would love to have you as a member of my youtube family and thank you so much for watching and remember to be bold be you and let your light shine thanks


  1. Hello! Thanks so much for joining me again today! I wanted to sit down and have a chat with you about my experience with Postpartum Anxiety. My hope is that you find some encouragement and reassurance that you are not alone in this journey of motherhood. Don’t forget to SUBSCRIBE!

  2. I am so glad you did this video. I definitely had (sometimes still have) some very similar struggles. Anxiety is a beast. Thank God for prayer and therapy and women like you who share how you’ve overcome these things.

  3. Thanks so much for sharing this !! I had postpartum Anxiety and I still have lots of Anxiety. Just like you, I think I’ve had it since I was a child and never knew it. It is so important to recognize it, take care of ourselves and to know that we are not alone ! I love that you are so honest and relatable ❤️

  4. I didn’t know postpartum anxiety was a thing until now. Wow, I can’t imagine being a new mom and experiencing such a thing.

  5. Wow! Great video! Thank you so much for sharing. My son is 8 months and was in the NICU for 14 days. I was the same zero sleep and postpartum anxiety is real. I was Afraid to go out for Months because I thought I would have a wreck. My Dr knew it before my check up. New Subscriber!

  6. I hope all is well ✨☺️People don’t realize how real postpartum is. It affects you in ways you can’t imagine.

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