Opening up about our Miscarriage: Finding Hope || Savannah Lewie



hey everyone welcome I don't really know how to start this video this is the hardest video I've had to make and it feels almost wrong to be sharing this with you guys but I've seen so many other youtubers actually going through this at like the same time as me and so I know that a lot of you guys out there might have gone through this before and like the whole purpose of my channel is to like share my life with you and hopefully encourage you guys in the process so let me just start off this video by saying that I don't want this to be like really sad I want it to be encouraging and uplifting so I'm gonna try not to like focus on all of the bad stuff that happened but kind of just get through that part really fast and then talk about the goodness of God through it but on October 19th Braden and I found out that we were pregnant and we were so excited we weren't really trying to get pregnant yet but we weren't not trying and you guys know from my video before that I wasn't taking birth control or anything so we got pregnant and we were so excited like so excited if you didn't know we've been married for four and a half years now so it just seemed like a good time to like start thinking about having babies and starting a family and stuff and so yeah we got pregnant um and we found out that Friday and then we told all of our family right away because we were so excited and then one week later actually on Brandon's birthday I miscarried I was at work and I went to the emergency room and they couldn't really you know confirm anything but we were really hopeful that like everything was okay and then things started to not look so okay and then they couldn't really tell me until two days later so we you know went home and I actually had like a trip planned for brain and I like to get away for his birthday so we decided to go anyways just because I don't know just to like get our minds off of things and whatever I'm glad that we went and so when we came back I went to the doctors again and then they basically confirmed that that's what was happening so it was kind of like we had to find out like twice like the first time like something was not okay but maybe it was gonna be okay and then the second time like things were not okay and so yeah that's what happened so I guess did this whole thing like I've just been kind of thinking like you know I'm a child of God and my life should look different from other people's lives so this whole time I've just been kind of thinking like when bad things happen to us as Christians like our life should still look different it's not like we're like robots and just everything's fine and we never cry and like nothing ever goes wrong but it's like we have hope and it makes a difference and so I'm just gonna share like what God has been doing through this time in my life even though something really really bad has happened it's hard for me to talk about because I don't really talk about it we kind of just don't talk about it and so throughout this whole time that this was going on we were really just praying and staying in faith that like the baby would be okay I'm sure a lot of you out there have gone through things where like you had faith for something and you were believing God for something and like it didn't happen and I know that it's hard but something our friend actually encouraged us during this time while he was like believing with us and praying for us was like that God wants this baby to live more than you do and so from that we kind of just like concluded like this is God's baby like it's our baby but first it's God's baby and that kind of just helped us to just like take all the pressure off and just like stay in faith believing God that he would just take care of us and so unfortunately the baby was not okay and bad things happen in this world and you just have to know when these things happen that we can't explain we just have to know that God is good and that God does not do bad things it's so clear in the Bible that God has a hopeful and prosperous future for us and that the thief which is Satan he comes to kill steal and destroy so it's so important that no matter what's happening even if you have unanswered prayers or you were believing for something and it didn't work or you experienced a loss like this it's important to draw a mirror to God as opposed to your run away from him because it would be really easy to believe the lie that God let this happen or God orchestrated this to happen to teach you a lesson both things that are not true but it would be so easy to grab a hold of those lies and then back away from him and so I don't really have the answer as to like why this happened because I know what the Bible says I know that the Bible says if you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can move the mountains I know that the Bible says that if you lay the hands on this stake they will recover and I know that God is good and that God has good plans for his people and so when something bad happens it's really easy to try and just come up with some excuse for God or come up with some theology that like makes it work out but the truth is that we just don't know we don't know and the that's okay we don't have to have the answer as to why it didn't work but the things that we do know are that God is good that God loves us that God only has good things in store for us and that Satan is a liar and he has no hope and he wants bad things for you so we know these two things so if something bad happens to you and is not God's doing he loves you his heart is breaking for you and he is there for you and he wants to father you through this so our whole focus Bradon a nice focus through this thing has just been like drawing near to God and just seeking his face it's not for the purpose of so that nothing bad ever happens to us ever again it's just like God while we need more of you in our lives we need more of your heart we need more of your understanding and so in like two videos ago I shared this verse but I'll share it again it says in Psalms 84 6 even when their paths winding through the dark valley of tears they dig deep to find a pleasant pool where others find only pain and that has been such a testament of this time it really has been even like well it was happening like Braden and I literally just like laid on the floor and we turned worship music on and we just worshipped God because what else is there to do just don't run away from God no matter what you're going through guys he loves you he's not doing this to you just worship Him because he is good he is your hope he is your peace he is your joy he is the only thing that's going to get you through this and so you really can find God in your situation no matter what you're going through and I remember just thinking like god I see you in this situation I can see you even before we knew if we were actually losing the baby I was like God I can see working the situation if the if the baby is okay like wow god you're so good and if for some reason the baby turned out to not be okay I can still see you in this situation because I somehow still have hope joy and peace despite what's going on yes there were tears and there was a period of grief and experiencing a loss but at the same time Braden and I were able to just have peace and to cling to God and worship Him and Luke 6:23 and the passion translation it says when troubles come you will dance and celebrate with overflowing joy so true the past few days in particular I've literally been taking the time out of my day to dance before God in my living room I'll just turn on some worship music and pray in spirit and dance and just celebrate his goodness because he's so good and I can celebrate his goodness even though this happened it might be like why would you celebrate his goodness when something bad happened well I'm celebrating his in this because even though something bad had happened somehow I still have joy and peace and I'm okay and especially right after it happened like I can I could see out of the corner of my eye like like the lives that the enemy was telling me like it was always just right there for me to grab a hold of and for me to just sit in despair and hopelessness like there's a difference between grieving and lose something and being sad about it and going into despair and hopelessness and I definitely heard the lies I felt like at first like I had no purpose anymore I was like what is the purpose of my life I was so excited to be a mom and like the favorite my favorite part of every day was taking my prenatal vitamins and putting on my stretch mark cream every morning like just to prepare for when the belly did grow and then not having to do those things anymore and just losing the pregnancy symptoms like so quickly where I didn't feel pregnant anymore and then having to go back to work like where before I was going to work knowing well I'm pregnant I'm pregnant I'm pregnant that's all I could think about so then when you don't have that anymore it was hard for me to see my purpose through it but I'm probably gonna make a video on this come soon because gods really been showing me what my purpose is and I just know that he loves me so much I wrote down like six different things or so about like God's purpose for me and like did you know guys that God wrote down your entire life like in a book in heaven somewhere like before he allowed you to exist he wrote down the plan that he has for your life like that's wild and like I've heard people say that and then I read it in a book and then I was like I'm actually gonna look this up because it sounds too good to be true it's in the Bible it really is and like Jeremiah 29:11 Ephesians 2:10 Psalms 139 16 he wrote down his plans for your life and I guarantee you that they did not include hurts and losses and sadness and pain all of the things that he wrote for you were good and joy-filled things more than that he gave you the entire kingdom all of the authority and the kingdom has been given to you and so why would we pull away from God when something bad happens when we know that that God is good so another thing if you're going through something like this is it might be hard to deal with like people's responses to these situations like people don't know what to say when something awful happens to someone so don't get upset at people don't get offended at people if any if someone responds to you in a way that you're like well that's that's interesting just listen to the heart behind what they're saying because I'm sure that they love you and they want what's best for you but no one knows how to cope with these things and if you do know someone who's going through this time I think the best thing you can say is just like I'm sorry I love you and I'm here for you that's it that's all anybody wants to hear Luke 723 B and the passion translation says the blessing of heaven comes upon those who never lose their faith in me no matter what happens why are you gonna do when something bad happens in your life when circumstances don't look so great what are you gonna do don't lose faith in Him he loves you the promises in the Bible are there for you they are true they are good they've been shown so many times time and time in my life and so just because something bad happens to me and my circumstances don't look that great for a second doesn't mean that I'm just gonna like discount everything that God's ever done in my life and been like Oh God must not be who he says he is there is evil in this world and you know we pray and we have faith and we go full force into stopping these things and staying in faith and believing God for things and if they don't happen we know that it's not because God is bad because God is good it's okay to not have the answers of why you're going through what you're going through but what's not okay is to pull away from God the one who loves you who wrote your purpose before you were even born he decided why he would let you exist so there's probably reason there's probably a pretty good purpose filled amazing reason that you're on this earth there is not probably there totally is so don't believe the lies of the enemy he is hopeless so he wants you to feel hopeless he doesn't have a purpose so he wants you to feel like you don't have a purpose so this video was probably all over the place I don't know it's kind of hard for me to like collect my thoughts on everything but it's been about three weeks since everything happened and I have been okay yes I have cried yes I've experienced grief and loss but I've been okay and I've had joy and peace despite all the circumstances through everything because I chose not to pull away from God I've done that before and in this time when this happened I was like I know the last thing I'm going to do is pull away from God and get angry at him that is the last thing that I want to do I know that I'm going to seek his face and that I just want to know him more I want to be his friend I want to find him in the secret place and I want to carry out and fulfill the destiny and purpose that there is on my life so if you're going through something right now that is hard I'm so sorry I'm so sorry there are just no words but I really encourage you find God in the secret place find God in your situation dig deep because he is there he is working on your behalf he loves you my dog insisted that she be on my lap now so anyways okay so one of the number one things that has helped me get through this is dancing I keep talking about it guys I do but dancing I'm telling you it is so good from the upper room worship leader one of them said like when you express yourself like that you're literally telling your body to come under what the Lord is doing in the room and freedom looks like something joy looks like something to me it doesn't just look like it looks like being a child in the kingdom of heaven so just you know what's watching you like go in your bedroom turn on some music or don't turn on music just sing yourself and just dance before the Lord and just experience his presence and his freedom and his joy and peace that he has for your life because he is so good and he is close the Bible says that God is close to the brokenhearted so I don't really know if this video was helpful I didn't feel it was very important to go into details about like everything that happened because it's not a question that bad things happen to Christians like we can all go through our lives in fines thing awful that's happened to us but what is the difference in you versus when bad things happen to other people who don't have God like there should be a difference and so that's why I chose to just share like the goodness of God in the situation because that is the difference I still went through the same thing unfortunately and I know that it wasn't God's plan for me but the difference is that God was there for me and then I had joy and peace no matter what I have been saying that for a long time like that I'm able to have joy and peace despite circumstances and that that has been like one of the biggest transformations of my life the past two years I had one of the biggest evidences of God in my life but even more now that like something has happened like that like wow it doesn't make sense I know that it's not me I know that it's the Holy Spirit within me and he lives in me and I have a purpose and a plan and I'm loved by God at all times and I know that God's plan for me is good and so I'm okay I have hope and going forward into you know a future pregnancy someday I have no fear I will not fear I refuse to live in fear about something bad that could happen because my hope is not in fear or in past circumstances my hope is in God and He is good and he loves me I may have more thoughts like okay you know once more time has gone by but right now this is just what's going on and how I feel and what God is doing I love you all very much I'll see you guys next time for another video bye guys [Applause] beautiful

22 Replies to “Opening up about our Miscarriage: Finding Hope || Savannah Lewie”

  1. I'm sorry for your loss. And I am moved that you had enough strength to make this video. My husband and I miscarried at the beginning of May. And I felt so lost and devastated.. Watching this video has truly inspired me. To keep faith to hold on to God's plan for us. ❤❤

  2. God has truly blessed you with such insight & wisdom! Because you have build such a strong foundation with Our Lord you can stand now through this most difficult now. God bless you both ❤🕊❤

  3. Romans 8:28 King James Version (KJV)

    28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
    I'm so so sorry for your loss.

    Isaiah 61:3 King James Version (KJV)

    3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

    God wastes nothing-I love how you said about how God dosen't do bad things he has Good plans-But i also love that God will take the results of this fallen world all the hurt and pain and he uses it for his glory-And to make us in to who he's created! God is seriously so Awesome!

  4. All things work together for the good of those who love him, we never know what god can turn into your heartbreak or trials & tribulations.

  5. Wow, you guys are such an amazing couple! You are so full of faith and you are such an encouragement! Thank you Jesus for you guys! The Holy Spirit flows through you!

  6. savannah the holy spirit will uplift you god will make you stronger seek him you are his child the holy spirit will always be with you amen

  7. savannah I'm so sad you're loss but the holy spirit will always be with you in you're trials he loves you I will be praying fore you in Jesus precious name amen sister

  8. HOW DID I MISS THIS! 😭😭😭😭 this is a big fear of mine m, so thank you for being honest and open!!!! – okay I’m watching now! Just love you

  9. Hey Savanah, thanks so much for sharing! It's so encouraging to hear that God is giving you perspective and strength. In watching this I realized I have given into the lies of despair and hopelessness. What can I do to set my mind back to the truth?

  10. Sending you so many prayers and hugs, Savannah. I'm sorry that you've had to go through this. But thank God for the faith that He is giving you to get through this. He still has a plan! And I'm sure that this video will help so many Christians. Much love <3

  11. God will restore you guys…I pray that the joy of the Lord will be your strength, that joy may be full and your peace be like a river.

  12. I lost my baby after birth. She passed to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Stndrome). She was 2 months and 11 days old. I was only 19 at the time. It was the hardest thing I have dver gone though. I am now 39 and her survibg ywin is now 19.
    I can state it now, without resetvation, that God’s strength is evident in our own weakness”

    God Bless you for sharing.

  13. I'm speechless. Can't imagine what it took for you to share this. But I'm also in awe of God's work in you, and the way your dealing. I'm sorry you and Braden went through this. Sending love, hope, peace and healing your way <3

  14. I just wanted to let you know, with our first baby we tried for about 9 months to get pregnant then when I was almost 11 weeks I had an ultrasound to find out the baby stopped growing at 5.5 weeks. It was so horrible! But three months later I got pregnant with our son. We have three kids now and all are happy and healthy. I think today I wouldn’t have my son if I wouldn’t have had the miscarriage. As hard as it was then I’m glad to have gone through that so I can understand what others are going through and encourage them like others did me. I’m so sorry

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