Postpartum depression? Anxiety? 3 weeks after birth.

hello everyone I wanted to make an update for you guys so it is today is July 30th they think and it has been three weeks today since I hit Piper and it's been a really rough I hate like saying that and I feel bad like even admitting it because you know we waited so long to have this baby but it's been rough and I'm sure you can hear that she's actually I'm in my bathroom as usual in my bedrooms right out there this is my the bathroom I have that's in my bedroom and she's in her pack and play Napper because that's one of the only places that she usually likes and um that's where she is and she's just in and out of crying so anyway so just a like touch on like everything that's going on is like you know sometimes when you're pregnant and you're going to have your baby especially your rainbow baby that you've waited so long for you have pictures in your head of things going a certain way and being a certain way and then you just you it doesn't go that way and that's kind of where I am right now it's not just that I think there's a lot going on um you know I've been through a lot in the last three years you know first we lost Emerson went through all the infertility lost Olivia and then I was in the hospital with my thyroid storm believe it or not I have a lot of PTSD I think from being in the ICU I had a lot of weird like dreams or like I don't think they were dreams but like things that happened while I was in there that are hard to like get out of your head kind of like hallucinations that were I don't even know how to explain it right now it's not the time but either way and then you know of course struggling with the decision to have another baby or to not have another baby and then having this pregnancy and being scared the whole time hold on a minute okay okay I just wanted to calm her down real quick um it's a lot to deal with the pregnancy was scary it's kind of overwhelming that it's over and also my daughter leaving was a big deal like a really big deal and I didn't think it would be as big of a deal as it was it's been rough so the point of this is that I am struggling and I am not a danger to myself and I'm not a danger to my children so don't worry you know about that but I am definitely struggling um I do not have any help my husband and I have done nothing but fight because he says that I all he hears from me is help help help and but but he hears that and he doesn't do anything about it um no like he has to work all the time because I don't and I understand that but there's no help um I kind of expected like I'm not even talking about him as much as other people I know my parents were supposed to be here and they couldn't be for health reasons and they won't be here until the end of August and I know that look at people do this every day people have kids and they deal with this stuff but like it's not always the same I don't think everyone feels this way and like I'm having it's just so hard like I know when my parents told me they couldn't come I said you know that's okay because I have other help like I have like in-laws and stuff and honestly they haven't helped at all and I'm not trying to be a jerk when I say that I feel like everybody just ignore the fact that I had a baby the only time that they want to help me is when they want to see the baby and they're helping is holding the baby and it's true when they say that you know the mom really does get forgotten and in this case I feel like we've all gotten forgotten I don't know if it's because it's like not the first grandchild or if it's not you know if it's because it's not my first baby but like it seems like nobody really wants to like hang out or like come over and see the baby even and I didn't get an ounce of help from anybody and I did have surgery and you know to tell you the truth I'm doing really well from the surgery like healing I feel like a million bucks physically the c-section it hurt like at first it was rough but like after the first week like it's been a really smooth sailing I've lost most of my weight but honestly I just don't feel right I don't feel like eating I've dropped like a ton of weight because I'm not eating it's not like I'm skinny or anything but I definitely have lost more than I lost with any of my other kids Piper just cries she my husband doesn't I don't think he believes me when I say that she literally cries 90% of the day and sleeps the other 10% or it's 50/50 whatever she cries a lot we've switched her formula a couple of times now she is definitely doing better today than she did yesterday yesterday was probably the worst day I've ever had with a baby in my life I just am so so anyway the point is is that I am going to go to the doctor I called them today and my doctor is out of town until September well she's not out of town she's out of town a couple times this summer and then the next appointment she has available is in September and I'm like no like I can't when they heard why I was calling they like they were like no we'll get you in so I'm supposed to call tomorrow morning and I might have to see a different doctor but that's fine I need something my anxiety my depression like I can't do this anymore without some help and also my thyroid my endocrinologist dr. kind of like told me after my last blood draw was normal they're like okay so follow up with your PCP from now on every couple of months but the one I had been seeing before that like moved she was um she had told me that I need to be very very careful after I have the baby because you know I had a thyroid storm and I almost died a year ago and I'm really concerned with the fact that they told me that so I'm going to talk to my doctor about that too I am not comfortable waiting to be like tested for very long after everything that I've been through um I can't risk that again I can't do that again I don't know that I would make it I mean maybe I would but you never know and I really don't want to find out so there's a lot going on in my head I'm struggling a lot and it's there's been a lot of crying for me and the baby and um it's not that I'm not happy like I'm perfectly happy as far as like how you know having the baby and stuff I just really could use some more support and I don't feel like I have it so this is just an update to let you guys know how I'm doing and I've always been honest in this channel and I'm gonna continue to be honest so that's my update for now I can't really show you the baby ii and i can't i don't really want to give an update on her ii because this video is more about my depression so i will definitely make another update with the baby when I get a chance when she's in a good mood and when I can tell you more so I will talk to you guys later

10 Replies to “Postpartum depression? Anxiety? 3 weeks after birth.”

  1. I struggled a lot after have my 3rd/ youngest child. I was on my own , no help of family or friends husband at work. It was a horrible time in my life. I used to feel guilty for feeling like that. That lasted a year. I was in such a dark place. I went back to work and the baby got easier to look after, stopped crying 27/4 and he is a happier 18 month old now. I totally understand how you feel. Add me on Facebook if you want to talk to me. My Anxiety was so high all the time I just felt scared all the time. But things are looking up now (fingers crossed) I have been watching your videos for the last few years. Hold on it will get better 💟💟

  2. Margie, you have had an awful lot in a short time. By the way, there is a kind of PTSD reported after stays in ICU, so it is real. My daughter cried all the time, my grandfather was dying, then died, I got 2 breast infections and very sick, and I got pretty bad post partum depression. My husband wanted to call my OB, and I refused. I also lost a lot of weight. I was so wrong – I needed help. I think your concerns about your thyroid after the pregnancy are well founded. Eventually, Piper will stop the crying! I remember times I had to walk out of the house into the yard for a couple minutes to get away from it. I thought I would lose it. You probably need medication. This time will pass. Wish I was in Michigan and I could come visit YOU, not just the baby. Get help, keep posting, and tell yourself this will get better. Prayers, Margie.

  3. postpartum depression is no joke! It was bad for me with all 6 of my babies for the first 3-4 weeks. Just know that you aren't alone and it will get better! As far as not feeling like you have alot of support, could you talk to a therapist, or even join a postpartum support group? Also, is anyone bringing you meals, such as your church family, coworkers or neighbors? I know for myself having those meals brought to me and my family was a huge help and took alot of weight off my shoulders. I'm sorry you are going thru this. Love and hugs.

  4. I just wanted to tell you that your doing an amazing job! Not sure if anyone has told you this but you are a great mom and admitting you need help is a big step and very responsible of you to get help ❤️❤️❤️ thank you for updating, always love the updates

  5. Please talk and Ask for HELP …tell them Exactly what you tell us …some people just think she got it ((( she is ok its her third baby you need speak up for your self…cant really advise on husband part bc my exactly the same with all my 3 kids ..its just Man…the first few months the hardest mom help me for first 2 months with all kids…please if you can guys afford Nanny who in the house with you at list for few months do it …dont think about money and baby and health come first …my daugther 10 months …and I have 2 boys …noone help me ever …jusy my mom …do a blood work every 6 weeks.i already wtore you my thyroid doing very great after have a baby…sent you 🙏….

  6. I’m so glad you are talking it out. Having a crying baby constantly can really wear on you, my first baby was like that. You are doing wonderfully, deep breaths when you have to, and remember, always here to listen. 💕 xo

  7. Oh love💗 I just wish I could hug you! PTSD is soooooo so real! My two I lost were very early as that was bad enough. I can’t even imagine how my heart would feel after finally having my rainbow after two stillbirths. You are such a strong strong mama! You have every right and reason to feel how you are feeling. I would definitely encourage you seek counseling 💙 seeing my therapist at least once a month has not only helped me keep my sanity, but it’s helped me work through my losses and my crippling anxiety that I just knew my baby was going to die (even though it was completely irrational). I truly wish I was closer to you so I could come over and help and just give you a super hug! You have been through soooooooo much ❤️💔

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