hi everybody and welcome back to my youtube channel if you're not a mom yet or you haven't dealt with this stuff you can keep watching anyways and I'm hoping my channel doesn't get completely demonetised forever because I've heard that happens when people talk about like mental health and stuff on YouTube but today we're gonna be discussing postpartum depression and what that means and what that is and what it looks like in different people and my experience with it and everything because I think it's important to talk about because so many people don't understand it so I actually broke down the definition of postpartum depression and it is depression suffered by a mother following childbirth typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes physiological adjustment to motherhood and fatigue I think those are all the important things to keep in mind when thinking about this but really the biggest thing that I've come to realize is it is the hormonal imbalance and this can actually I I can't remember exactly but I think it's up to three years you can start to show symptoms of postpartum depression anxiety OCD it affects so many mothers and a lot of it is the hormonal change a lot of it is the fatigue a lot of it is you know adjusting to a completely different lifestyle but it is important to know that not only is postpartum different from mom to mom but it is different from pregnancy or pregnancy so there are people who will experience like severe depression after their first pregnancy or severe anxiety after their second pregnancy or severe OCD after their third pregnancy like you can change from mom to mom and look different from pregnancy – pregnancy postpartum depression isn't actually just depression it is also anxiety and OCD you don't necessarily get all three it can be just one it can be a combination of the three a little more of one a little less of the others it totally depends on the mom so I actually struggled with anxiety I remember my first ever when I like registered that I was having an anxiety attack I didn't know what it was but I was waiting for my skates to be dropped off at the rink and I was gonna be late getting on the ice and I remember standing there and feeling this overwhelming feeling of stress I couldn't call myself I was shaking and I I don't even know how to explain it like if you've had an anxiety attack you understand that I was just anxious and it was extremely overwhelming and I started crying and it was it was a lot that was my first that I can think of anxiety attack and I was probably 12 13 14 somewhere in there I've always carried stress with me like I just carry it I hold it wherever I go and I remember after that I didn't know what it was I just remember feeling an overwhelming sense of emotion in that moment it happened a few more times and then I think it was my mom who actually addressed it with me and asked if I was having anxiety attacks and I've never heard of those and I was like no so I went and googled it they were all symptoms of an anxiety attack and I wasn't actually diagnosed with anxiety until – I don't remember I never took medication nothing I don't have a serious anxiety um it's just like I'll have anxiety attacks I've had a couple panic attacks but it's not like insanely serious but I had anxiety all through high school and then it kind of went away and then after I had Alaura I didn't have anxiety for quite a while probably six months started showing and it was bad it was so bad it was constant I couldn't seem to escape the feeling of anxiety and then I was having anxiety attacks two or three times daily and it was bad I started seeing a counselor it is so important to seek help with this but I started seeing a counselor and she suggested a postpartum depression group in my head I was like I'm not depressed like why would I go and it wasn't until I got to the group and they explained that it's not just depression and then I realized that this was actually something I needed and I attended to eight-week sessions for postpartum and they were absolutely amazing it opened my eyes it taught me so much it made me understand that like what I was feeling was totally normal for moms I want to talk a little bit about that now that I've kind of gone on a little rant so the first thing I want to say is I'm gonna have a ton of links and information in the description for specifically Alberta because that's where I know most of my information from but also other places if you think you are feeling depressed or you're having really intrusive thought or you know feelings of hurting yourself or your baby you need to seek help because just because they're normal does not make it okay so I'll have all kinds of information in the description about finding health around you and other information so I have a sheet here and it says a multi-dimensional explanation of postpartum depression from the Pacific coast part of the support society and I'm gonna read through this really quick and if you guys feel like you identify at all then it might be time to get help though the first is general loss it's a loss of identity of self expectations and free and I think every mom experiences this especially as a first-time mom it's a whole new life being a mom and you don't know exactly where you went and then there's physiological which is hormonal and sleep deprivation and disturbances you can't control your hormonal changes you can't control sleep deprivation to an extent because your kid's gonna be waking up in the night and you're gonna be waking up with them and you're not sleeping right because you're wondering if your baby's breathing in the next room and all that stuff then there is psychodynamic which is unresolved issues from past resurfacing at this transition point anthropological which is lack of support network this is so important is to find a support network whether you find yourself a group of other moms going through the same thing or just even a place where you could have mommy time or you know family friends who have had kids and you can talk to you and then lack of structure in the day if you have a kid you understand this there is no structure there is no such thing they do not know at the same time every day they do not go to bed at the same time every day they will love one food one day and hate it the next there is no structure psychosocial so experiences and fears of pregnancy labor and delivery concerns or maybe difficult baby lack of social support marital tension general life stress isolation if you don't experience these then you are wonder woman because I experienced every single one of these and then personality may lean towards perfectionism this is really hard as a mom because everything has to be perfect and you see those like YouTube moms who are perfect and the Instagram moms who are perfect and you've imagined this perfect life for your kid and it's impossible to achieve the perfectionism but it's something that might be eating at you it's like everything has to be perfect a lower energy level or your energy level is too high which anxiety may have mood changes may be sensitive to change though it's just important to keep those things in your mind if you're thinking that maybe you're struggling a handful of these every mom's gonna feel what it you're suffering from postpartum or not but it's important to understand that these things are normal to feel after you have a kid my biggest struggle since I had Laura is mom guilt and I don't know a mom who doesn't feel this but it's hard when you have a kid to want to do anything for yourself ever your house has to be clean for your kid and your kid has to be clean and dressed in clean clothes it's hard to take time at all for yourself I remember when I started going to the gym Durai had Alaura or going for run it was so difficult because I always felt like I need to be at home with her I need to be by her side when I went back to work I was like I can't do this she needs me she needs me and kids do need you but you can't be there for your kid if you can't take care of yourself self-care is so important the biggest thing we talked about in this group was self-care and learning to find ways that where yourself are going to be able to help you help your kid if you can't take the time to do something for yourself you're never gonna be able to be the best parent that you can be this can be something as little as sleeping in and making your husband take your kid or whatever but the other part for self-care for me that we never really talked about group and I didn't even think about till later was having someone supportive encourage your self-care when you're a mom it's really easy to get caught up in mom duty I'm gonna call it and that is essentially just feeling like you have to do everything for your kid you have to do the cooking you have to do the cleaning you have to be the one taking your key to the park every day you have to be the one who's there when they wake up at night that is not true it's not you don't have to do anything alone and you shouldn't have to do anything alone whether you ask your friend if you can drop your kid off for a few hours while you just take a nap or go for a walker do something that you could do with them without them when we would talk in postpartum one of the biggest things every mom said I said this a few weeks was taking a shower for self-care because I always shower with Alaura I'd always have her in the room or I'd bring her in the shower with me or I'd plug the drain and it would fill up like a bath while I was showering and she would play but just being able to take a shower by yourself completely no kids in the room no kids banging on the doors that is such a rare thing for moms and it's so important that we take little time during the day to get little things like that done and a lot of you might be feeling like you're so alone like I don't have any friends who could watch my kids for a few hours and I don't have any family in the town where I live my significant other left or whatever happened that's why I highly recommend seeking out someone who can help you with that so I couldn't afford counseling when I started seeing my counselor it was actually my mom's friend who was finishing up her degree who had it like her practicum to do so I got five free sessions with a counselor and that was amazing and I continued to see her after and she was the one who suggested group and so I would just seek out information talk to other moms there are my mom groups everywhere you can find them in your town even just Google like mom groups with your town and I'm sure something will come up because if you can find other moms who you can get information from to get help that would be so beneficial because it is important to have a support group and if you don't feel like you have that or you don't feel like your friends understand or your family understands these people in this group they get it moms go there because they want to be able to talk to other people who get it I don't know where this video was going find one thing today you can do for self-care and next week's video I'm gonna be talking about my favorite ways for self-care there nothing big there nothing extravagant just little things but they're all things that are achievable and in my opinion beneficial I can't even explain like the difference you feel when you start doing one thing a day or a week for yourself I just want to encourage you guys to honestly consider where you're at with your mental health specifically mother's and take the chance to reach out and find someone or a group or a way that you can relate to someone and get help just I don't know I don't know Randy this was going but I'm gonna have a lot in the description a lot of information about where you can seek help and I hope you guys will do it if you feel like that's something you need hope this even helps one person and I hope if you're experiencing any of this you realize you're not alone and there's so much help for you I guess that's it watch for next week's video make sure you subscribe if you haven't already if you guys have any other things you would like me to talk about on this subject or have any questions leave them in the comment section down below i post disclaimer since i didn't put this at the beginning of a video I am NOT an expert on this I just wanted to share what I know and what I learned in my classes if you have a story you want to share or advice you want to share leave it in the comment section down below let's just talk let's talk about this so that we don't feel so alone in it and if you guys want to see Elora which I know is why a lot of you guys are here in the first place go to my vlog Channel that's where she usually is and what's you guys next week

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