hey everyone welcome back to my channel Brenda Michelle and I do a combination of lifestyle and motherhood videos if you are new to my channel don't forget to subscribe down below and give this video a thumbs up before you watch it today I'm going to be bringing you guys a series that I thought about I'm not sure if anyone is doing this on youtube you head around a blog or Instagram or just anywhere there but if they are all credit goes to them I don't want to say that I created this series so that I created this hashtag but I'm going to be calling this series real mom real talk hashtag real mom will talk and I'm just gonna be talking to you guys about real mom stuff you know um and I just want this to be more of a casual thing so you know just friends hanging out talking about real stuff you know real things that happen when you're a mom today I thought it would be fun if I just do my nails while I talk to you guys again I want this video to be like super casual just us hanging out talking um so I have a few minutes right now so I thought why not do my nails I talked to you guys today I really wanted to talk to you guys about identity loss so postpartum identity knows because I feel like not a lot of people talk about that you know I know a lot of people talk about what happens when you have a baby like obviously your body changes in like so many ways like you know a lot of women say this but your we'll never be the same after I mean you of course you can try and like work out and just try to be you know try to be the same but it's never gonna really be the same exactly how it was but there are so many other changes that happen to you when you have a baby I mean your body mental state yeah physical mental spiritual like literally every aspect of who you are changes so much and no one talks about this and I you know I honestly wish that someone would have talked about this you know and someone would have told me before having a baby everything that you know I'm gonna go through and this really does go beyond the physical physical changes are you closing I mean I've trained you have a baby like you're not you anymore because there's this small human that you have to take care of you know you have to make sure that your baby survives and literally like you put your all into it like every part of you just goes with this baby and in a way is like you are not just you anymore you become two people or three or four or however many kids you have and honestly sometimes it can be overwhelming you know not only sometimes I think pretty much every day it's so cruel whelming and after I had my son I thought I felt this I felt like okay Who am I know like I'm just like you know a completely different person but then after having my daughter that's when I really me I don't know if it's because okay now I have two babies but that's what I hate me like I am not the same person and my perception and my my opinion on so many things have changed so much really every aspect of my life has changed and I mean beyond that after having both of my babies like I am like I have questioned everything like before I had my babies I you know I thought okay I want to keep going to school and maybe get a message master's degree and get a PhD and do all this stuff and I'm not saying you cannot do that but is that really what I want I don't think so that's not what I'm passionate about that's not what I'm interested in and I feel like before I really thought like okay um I have to go to university I have to get my masters I have to get my PhD and a lot of that was really to fulfill society's need of me as a human as a woman because personally this so I was grown like kinda so I was raised you know my parents my mother always said you know you have to go to school you have to become a doctor or a lawyer and honestly that's not for everyone but now that I have babies that I have children that I have humans that I need to raise I feel like I don't want to be a lawyer or be a doctor or do this because society wants me to or because my parents want me to work because other people expected of me like I want to do what I want to do what I love to do so that's one you know thing that I've realized but then again that coming into this mentality just has completely canceled there are everything that I knew and that I followed and that was part of me before you know like for all those 20-something years before I had babies that was my mentality that was my identity no University become a lawyer have this perfect house have a perfect car but now I have babies and all of that identity all of that who I believed I was is lost and I feel like if you want to become a mom if you want to go into this you really need to think about that you know you need to think about about I guess in a way yes you know it's a blessing and it's so amazing but you're also going to in a way in a sense grieve a person you know yourself you're gonna leave you're gonna go through a time where you have to forget about who you were in the past because it changes so much like children change you and they change your mentality and the way you see life and the way you see yourself as I was you know the loss of identity and loss of who I thought I was and now I feel like coming on a journey of self-discovery you know who am I now you know and I feel like a lot of moms go through this and I feel like in that journey and that journey up loss of identity and towards you know self-discovery these a lot of women go through depression and you go through so much that women do not talk about you never see you know moms talking about being depressed and not knowing who they are anymore and I wish more people talked about it because because it would be so helpful you know to not people not going to be a hundred percent on it so you guys I am still not through it you know I feel like I'm still in a grieving state of you know the loss of my identity of who I was before I had kids but I feel like in the past weeks in the past months I you know with the recent restart of my youtube channel and a lot of things that I've been doing in my life I feel like I've started into a journey of self-discovery and really you know finding what I love what I want to do what I want to be and you know pushing away and forgetting about society you know I'm just like on this journey and honest honestly hasn't been easy it's been so stressful that's the journey that I am in now and then yeah I only put a base coat on so let's do this I just want to put this coat on the good thing that I like about these nail polishes is that they are quick dry and they really are quick drying they try pretty fast the base coat is already dry one of the main reasons I wanted to talk about this is because one a lot of people don't talk about this they don't talk about this grieving state this depression this loss of identity that women goes through when they have a baby or at least I haven't already seen when it was about it and then also because you know I want to create this discussion I want to talk to other women and I want to you know create a community basically and please comment down below and like let me know how you feel about this topic whether you've also felt this way for my next episode of real mom real talk I really want to talk about um my I guess self-discovery journey are the things that I am doing you know discover discover Who am I now after my cave I don't want to say um talk about me accepting where I am because I feel like you should never be accepting of where you are I mean you should accept the past you should accept okay I've lost that identity yes you have to accept that but you don't have put a present or future that society or your partner or your family you know pushes on you or tries to force on you um you can create your own present your own future you discover yourself you um you know do what you need to do to to really know who you are and then create your present and create your future and that's what I'm doing now and that's what I want to share with you guys in my next episode of real mom real talks let me know what do you guys think about that that's slogan or that hashtag um but yeah I only finished one hand I just went off camera and I finished my nails I thought oh thank you so much for coming again to my channel for watching my videos if you're coming back have you new to my channel please please please do not forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up it I appreciate it so much I appreciate the support I appreciate the likes the comments they share they appreciate everything and it supports my challenge so so so so much if you like this series please let me know down below the Emmy um use the hashtag if you have some um issue or some topic that you would like to discuss on this series please let me know the enemy email me leave a comment down below and I will be extremely happy um to do the video and I hope you guys like this video and I will see you guys next time

3 Replies to “POSTPARTUM IDENTITY LOSS #RealMomRealTalk EP.1”

  1. Such an important topic, thanks for talking about this! I’m subscribed, would love to stay connected, looking forward to seeing more!

  2. I have a 17 year girl. Lol
    My daughter is leaving the house next year and i am trying to finger out what I going to do after that. That is why i am trying to get my YouTube channel up and running. I love health, beauty, and fitness. Which is what my channel is about. Thank you talking about this.

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