SHAYS BIRTH STORY | Postpartum Hemorrhaging Scare | Failed Epidural Hospital Birth | Tara Henderson

hi guys welcome back to my channel so today is a super exciting video for me personally because I am finally getting around to filming Shay's birth story and thank you guys for being patient with me while I kind of collect my thoughts on what happened during her birth and it was kind of a little bit dramatic in the beginning a lot of stuff kind of happened and I did mention over on my Instagram a couple days leading up to my induction that I was just really emotional and really overwhelmed and kind of let down I don't remember exactly what I said but I posted on my Instagram story something about that and a lot of you had questions on what happened but I never got footage of what happened during those couple days and but we did film a birth blog so if you guys haven't seen that video I will link it in the cards of this one so be sure to check that out as well but I did want to sit down and film a birth story for you guys and for me personally to to look back on and because I don't have footage of those first couple days or the first couple hours after I had Shae a lot of stuff happened too so I'm super excited to film this for you I hope you guys enjoyed this video but before we get into it I do get a lot of questions about like the lip combo that I'm wearing in a lot of my videos and kind of like what I'm wearing so if you guys want me to before I get into the video I can let you guys know kind of what I'm wearing where I got it from and the lip combo that I'm wearing if you guys like that idea give this video a thumbs up or leave me a comment and let me know and I can definitely do that for you guys so for today I am wearing nice and spicy liner by Mac and then Mac blankety lipstick over top of that and my shirt is super cute I got it in the mail today it's from shop pink blush and I'm obsessed with this little crocheted detailing on the sleeves and this powder blue color for summer I think is so cute but I will leave a link for everything that I mentioned in the description box and I will try and see if shop pink blush will give me a discount code for you guys if they do I will leave that in the description for you guys as well but let's go ahead and get into my birth story so if you watched my birth story with Bailey you'll know that I had a lot of anxiety leading up to Labor because of everything that happened with Bailey's birth and if you haven't watched that yet I highly suggest watching that for before you watch this video because it probably won't make sense so I will leave a link for that video up here for you guys but I ended up getting a written note in my file from my doctor at about 14 weeks for me to get an induction we figured that was the best route for me to go given everything that happened during Bailey's birth we wanted to try to avoid all of that so I ended up getting a written note in my file from my doctor when we were stationed down in Miramar and I quickly want to mention that my husband is in the military so we were stationed down in Miramar during this time when I was pregnant which is in San Diego so I was seen by a completely different doctor that ended up delivering me for the beginning part of my pregnancy but Adam ended up getting orders to camp Pendelton which is where we are stationed now living in San Clemente when I was about 30 weeks pregnant and so all of my files and everything transferred over to my new hospital and I ended up really loving my new Midwife we instantly clicked and she was so accommodating and made me feel really comfortable so I was really excited about that because it's really hard to find doctors in the military that you just really end up loving because they see so many people day in and day out it's really hard to build a really good relationship with your doctor so I was really excited that we were able to get along really well and I felt that sense of peace with her every time that I came in for a check-up she just she almost felt like a mom to me but she went into explaining at my 32 week checkup I think was my first appointment with her that even though I had a written note in my file from my previous doctor down in Miramar that I could be induced as early as 39 weeks if I wanted to be and even though she personally agreed with it as well given my circumstances and everything me kind of explaining my story with her she told me that I had to get it approved by the doctor that oversaw labor and delivery at the Camp Pendleton hospital that I was going to be delivering at because each doctor I guess has to approve it so she ended up getting it approved so I thought that we had all of our bases covered so at my last OB appointment which was my 38 weeks at my doctor and I decided to schedule my induction for May 15th which would put me at 39 weeks and three days pregnant and we chose this day specifically because my midwife would be working this day and I wanted to make sure that the person that I was seeing through majority of my pregnancy who knew my story and everything all my complications with my previous delivery was going to be the one who would deliver my baby because I didn't want some random doctor that didn't know my story didn't know who I was and I've never met before walking into a situation where he had no idea or she had no idea what my previous birth was because if you're not in the military and you're just seen at a regular Ovie's office you get seen with the same OB same doctor and everything through the duration of your entire pregnancy which is pretty normal I mean when I tell people this and they're really kind of shocked that I end up seeing so many different doctors and but that's just how they do it in the military but I really wanted to try and make sure if I could if it was an option for me to have my OB be the one that deliver me so that is why we chose that day because that is a day as she was going to be working so back to my 38 weeks checkup I asked my doctor if she was going to check my cervix for dilation and her and I both kind of agreed that it was best if she left her hands out of there and risk me going into labor on my own and she also wanted me to avoid intercourse and walking anything that could cause me to go into labor because we again didn't want to risk me going in on my own and her not being the one on call that day so fast forward to Monday May 8th I ended up getting a call from my midwife and asking me to come in for a cervix check which I was kind of caught off guard because we had just agreed to not do that but she said that the doctor that was overseeing labor and delivery that day wasn't comfortable inducing me so she wanted to make sure that my cervix was favorable so I was kind of hesitant on doing this because that wasn't really the plan but I agreed and we set the appointment for me to come in for a cervix check on Friday May 12 on Tuesday May 9th five days before my scheduled induction I ended up getting a call from one of the nurses in labor and delivery telling me that the doctor that was going to be on-call that day wasn't going to approve my induction because I didn't have a medical reason for an induction so obviously I was extremely upset because this is exactly what I didn't want to happen this is exactly why I wanted everyone to be on the same page and I wanted to stick with one doctor my entire pregnancy so I didn't have to keep explaining my story a story that for one got me super emotional every time I talked about it it gave me anxiety every time I talked about it but I had to keep rheic splaining this story with my Bertha Bailey over and over and over again multiple times I can't even tell you how many times I ended up telling the story to random nurses to other doctors to people that didn't really know my story that ended up being involved in my pregnancy somehow I had to reacquaint it to everyone so that everyone was on the same page and everyone knew why I wanted an induction why my first doctor put the note in my file for an induction this was all like blowing up in my face and I was so enraged and just so let down and mind you this was five days before I was supposed to go in to have her so we had this plan since I was 14 weeks pregnant and then five days before I'm supposed to go in for my induction all of this is just like unraveling and no one is understanding me and I can't even personally get in contact with my OB that I was seeing throughout the end of my pregnancy because they don't give out numbers for your doctor in the military you're just whoever answers the phone that day is who you have to talk to so I was obviously very upset at this point and I was on the phone with this nurse just pretty much crying I think at this point she was trying to kind of calm me down and just let me know that the doctor didn't really think that having anxiety was a medical reason for me to be induced and so I quickly responded and told her that is not the reason why I wanted to be induced because I had anxiety for the birth the main reason I wanted to be induced because Bailey came out so fast and so forcefully and ended up coming out with a broken collarbone and that is what we wanted to avoid because I have fast first I didn't want this birth to be anything like my birth was daily so that is the main reason why I wanted to be induced and after I said that to the nurse over the phone she kind of said oh I don't think the doctor was aware of that so I will mention that to the doctor and get back to you so anyways on Friday I ended up going in for my cervix check with my OB and the first thing she said to me when she saw me was she was so sorry for all of the miscommunication she was so sweet to me during the entire duration of my pregnancy that I saw her for she always just made me feel so comfortable in so at ease and I really really appreciated that she always went out of her way to make sure that I was just worry free but it was almost just all out of her hands at this point but she ended up checking me and I was three centimeters dilated almost completely thinned out and she said my cervix was definitely favorable enough for an induction and she actually told me that she wanted me to come in on Sunday rather than Monday for my induction because the doctor that was working on Sunday approved my induction and the doctor that was working on Monday did not so that was a total shock but I left that appointment really hopeful and excited because I was now like hours away from meeting Shae so she sent me home with some paperwork on what to do for my induction and told me to call labor and delivery at 5:00 a.m. on Sunday morning to make sure that they had availability for me to come in that entire weekend I spent deep cleaning the entire house and just preparing for Shay's arrival and my dad had taken off work and rearranged his entire schedule so that he could be here with daily and watch her while we were at the hospital and that was another really convenient part of having an induction was knowing which day I was going to go in so that I could have someone here to watch Bailey for us so Sunday early early morning I think it was like 3:00 a.m. I ended up getting a call from labor and delivery again telling me that there was no rooms available for me at the moment and I was obviously really kind of down because I had prepared everything I was so ready at this point to go in for my induction mentally physically I was just completely ready to go and to have them say that there wasn't any rooms available which is so common when you have an induction it still does kind of put you in a funk and this was Mother's Day so we didn't make any plans this day because we thought we would be in the hospital so it was just kind of like a debbie downer day because I was in such a bad mood and just so anxious like waiting for them to call me so we went all day with no call and then I ended up getting a call later on in the evening on Sunday and they again told me there was still no rooms available for me to come in and it was now getting even closer to Monday which again the doctor that was on call on Monday did not approve my induction so I wasn't able to come in on Monday to either so I was just an emotional wreck one because I would had hormones up the ass because I was heavily pregnant at this point so anything would just throw me for a loop and I was crying all day all night and I was so stressed out because I was just so mentally prepared to have this baby that day and then because of all this just miscommunication and everything just blowing up in my face and just getting let down and let down and let down over and over again I just I was a mess and on top of it being Mother's Day I was just like kind of so grumpy because we weren't able to do anything on Mother's Day because you're just kind of confined to the house just waiting anticipating for a phone call so it wasn't the ideal Mother's Day that I was expecting I was expecting to have Shea in my arms or at least be in the hospital like ready to have her soon on Mother's Day and I was just stuck at home crying and sad in my bed because I wasn't sure when we were going to have this baby on Monday morning I got another call from labor and delivery asking if I could come in for a cervix check to see if I progressed at all to see if I was contracting on my own and I was really kind of just discouraged let down and just had no like life to me at this point noticed I'm so dramatic but I was just I was so pissed at this point and I knew my body I knew it wasn't progressing at all I knew I wasn't contracting obviously because we were trying to avoid all of that so I wasn't doing anything to try and put myself into labor if I knew that this was going to end up being my route and that I was gonna have to put myself into labor I would have been doing everything in the books to try to get myself into labor but I was crying to the nurse on the phone that was talking to me I remember and she was she was really sweet and she just told me that she was trying to do everything that she could and her power to get me in to be induced but there's just so many other people you have to go through I guess and run things by but I was just so we're now emotionally and physically at this point so I agreed to come in so my dad ended up coming over Monday afternoon to watch Baily for us and Adam ended up putting all of our bags and stuff in the car and hopes that we were going to stay and that they would admit us but in the back of my head I kind of knew that it wasn't going to happen because I knew my body so we checked and at around 3 o'clock they hooked me up to all the monitors and everything and sure enough I wasn't having any contractions and then one of the nurses came in to check my cervix and she told me that I was only 2 centimeters and my cervix was still really high and thick which I was super caught off-guard because a couple days before that my midwife told me I was 3 centimeters and almost completely thinned out so I don't really know how that's possible so the doctor that was on call that day ended up coming in and talking to me and he just again told me about he didn't think an induction was the best option for me he said that since my service was only 2 centimeters dilated and high and really thick he just thought that it wasn't the best route for me to go but after I was like sobbing to him explaining my birth story with Bailey and just telling him like how ridiculous and unfair this all was he told me that he would recheck me so he ended up rechecking my cervix even though he told me that he did trust the nurse previously that checked me he said he would at least recheck me and give me that so he ended up Keamy and he said I was three centimeters and almost completely thinned out and by this point I had like makeup streaming down my entire face I looked a hot mess I just felt so defeated even though I heard what I wanted to hear I still just felt so defeated and like no one was on my side but I think he felt kind of bad for me because he went on to make like I deal with me almost and says that if I went to walk around a hospital for a couple hours regardless if I made any progress when I came back that he would go ahead and admit me so he made sure I was aware of all the complications that could happen for an induction but he said that my cervix was favorable enough for him to sign off on it so even though I got what I wanted to hear finally I still was just so um angry that it all had to happen this way but Adam and I ended up going and walking around the hospital for a couple hours I think it was like two or three hours we ended up walking for six miles I think and then we came back and they admitted eyes around 7 o'clock so they immediately put us in our room got me hooked up got all my blood work done and they gave me my first dose of cytotec at around 7:30 which if you guys aren't familiar with what cytotec is and what it does it's just a tiny little pill that you take I ended up taking two of them they gave me two and it's just supposed to soften your cervix so I took two of them at around 7:30 and within 30 minutes I was contracting regularly every three minutes my doctor was supposed to come in at 12 o clock in the morning to check my cervix but one of the nurses came in and told me that she wasn't going to come in to check me because the cytotec was starting to wear off and I was still contracting regularly enough on my own so she said that she was going to come in a little bit later at like 2:30 in the morning the contractions weren't painful at all at this point they were just kind of uncomfortable so I wanted to hold off until it got pretty unbearable to get my epidural my birth plan was initially to get my epidural as soon as I walked in the hospital as soon as they would let me get it because of everything that happened with Bailey's birth and the amount of pain I was in that's just kind of what I figured I would do this time but after being there and realizing how insignificant and contractions were at this point I decided to kind of just hold off a little bit Adam was sleeping at this point and I decided I would try and rest a little bit myself before my doctor came in and checked me and before my contractions got to be really painful at around 8 a.m. the next morning my new nurse came in they did a shift change and she came in to check my cervix and I fell in love with her you guys she was so sweet and accommodating I seriously like loved her so much she was so funny she was making me laugh constantly through the duration of my labor and I honestly like wanted to take her home with me she was so funny but after she checked me she said that I had progressed a centimeter so I was now like four centimeters dilated but she told me that cytotec isn't really supposed to dilate it was just supposed to thin you out and make her cervix more favorable shortly after she checked me she started me on my first dose of pitocin and we started on the lowest dose and she said she was going to up it every 30 minutes depending on how she looked on the monitor at around 10:40 was when I decided I was going to get my epidural and that procedure took so long I was not prepared for it to take that long up I was going to take like 10 minutes for them to just put it in your back and you're done but from start to finish it took like 40 45 minutes and if you guys are nervous whether or not the epidural hurts I honestly wouldn't worry too much about it it does not hurt at all the only part that kind of stings a little bit is the shot for the mending pain it just feels like a little zing in your back it's like a little pinch almost like you're hitting your funny bone kind of but a pinch if that makes sense but you don't feel anything when they're actually placing the epidural with a huge needle into your back because you're numb by that point shortly after that my nurse placed my catheter for me and not was such a weird experience I've never had a catheter before but obviously I was super numb down there so I couldn't feel a thing but I didn't know that as soon as she placed it that I would start peeing into this bag so I could not stop laughing that whole procedure is actually in my birth blog I tried to get on clips of pretty much all of the procedure is that happen so be sure to watch that video as well if you guys want to see like visually what happened at around 11:30 a.m. my doctor came in to break my water and I was about 4 centimeters still at this point and 75 percent effaced and he went in to break my water it's like a really long pin needle thing I don't know how to explain it it just looks like a really long needle and he goes in to poke your bag of water kind of like a balloon obviously you're super done by this point if you have your epidural so I didn't feel a thing I didn't even feel the water coming out but apparently there was a ton of it my nurse and my doctor were really shocked about how much water came out but I didn't feel any warmth or anything so I was really really numb down there before he left he said he was going to let me labor for a couple hours and then he was going to come back in to check me at around 3 p.m. I was so hungry at this point and I obviously couldn't eat anything but ice chips because I was on my epidural but I remember eating so many different kinds of gum I packed a lot of different like fruity gum options in my hospital bag because I knew it wasn't gonna be able to eat anything and that kind of curved my appetite a little bit I think I ended up eating like an entire big can of mentos gum is kept putting new ones in and spitting it out over and over again and that kind of helped me but I was still starving I was contracting about every two and a half minutes or so and by 3:30 I was in excruciating amount of pain because the epidural was only working from my butt down so all of where you feel your contractions was not numel whatsoever and I could feel everything the majority of the pain I was feeling though was like right below my right hip it felt like her head or her shoulder was stuck right there and every time I had a contraction it hurts so bad and the pain just kept getting worse and worse as time went on my nurse decided to check me and she said that I was about 7 centimeters at this point and she said that it was most likely her head or something just putting a lot of pressure on a nerve down there which was preventing the medications of the epidural from getting to that spot so they had me turn into different positions and Shane from side to side and hope that the epidural would hit that spot but nothing was working they had me put pillows in between my legs but it hurts so bad it felt like a burning sensation every time I had a contraction by 5:00 p.m. I was in unbearable pain the nurse gave me a heating pad to try and put pressure on my hip to kind of alleviate some of that pain and that helped a little bit but I had to really press down on the heating pack to like have it help even the slightest bit but I was like holding on to the railing while Adam would press down on the heating pad for me I was so weak at this point I was so delirious I just remember like wanting to curl up in a ball so bad to try and find a comfortable position but because epidural was only working from my butt down there was no way for me to really move around and get comfortable which was so annoying because if I would have known that it wasn't going to work I obviously wouldn't have gotten it so that I could find a comfortable position to labor in so that was super frustrating because my legs were like jello I couldn't feel them so I could really only move my upper body and wildest was all going on they kept telling me to press my button in hopes of it getting to that spot that was in so much pain so I was just so numb at this point like my bottom half was completely not I couldn't feel a thing but I could feel all of the contraction pain so it was just so frustrating at around 4:30 p.m. is when I started to transition into active labor I just felt so nauseous and so dizzy I could barely even open my eyes because I was just so exhausted my nurse checked me around 5:00 p.m. and said that I was fully dilated and ready to push but she noticed that Shay's heart rate was starting to drop on the monitor so she ended up giving me an oxygen mask and I hated that thing for some reason I just felt even more dizzy and more out of it when I had it over my face and I kept trying to take it off and take deep breaths because I felt like it was almost doing like the opposite effect for me I felt like really claustrophobic and I hated it later they had me curl into position to start pushing and I could not feel a thing down there I just remember pushing as hard as I could and praying that it was doing something and apparently it did because after my first practice push my nurse called the baby care team to start coming in to start prepping for chay usually this part is like a big blur for most people but I remember this so vividly I just remember pushing with all of my might because I was in so much pain I just focused all of that pain towards my pushing and I think I pushed a total of five times and then she was born on Tuesday evening at 5:51 and she weighed six pounds 16 ounces and when she came out she actually had her cord wrapped around her neck so she was really purple and she wasn't breathing and the whole world just felt like it stopped for like minutes but that whole procedure of them unwrapping her umbilical cord literally happened within seconds but it felt so long felt like an eternity before they were able to place her on my chest but as soon as they did and as soon as she took her first cry I just could not stop sobbing I was a complete wreck I was so relieved from all of the pain and just seeing her for the first time she was so alert when she came out her eyes were wide open and I remember just walking eyes with her for the first time and just losing it I just I could not stop crying I could not get over how small she was because Bailey was huge when she came out Bailey was seven pounds nine ounces but her head was massive it was in the 99th percentile when she came out so Shea's I think was in like the 32 percentile I don't remember exactly but hers was way smaller so it just made her look a lot tinier to me she ended up latching on right away and we did skin-to-skin for about an hour until one of the nurses came in to check on my bleeding which is what they do after you give birth they will come in I think like every 30 minutes or an hour to check on your bleeding to make sure it's not too much but when she came in to check on me she noticed that I was bleeding a lot and she saw what she was part of my placenta or some sort of tissue or something and I talked a little bit more about this in detail in my 20 week pregnancy update but basically when I went in for my 20 week Anatomy scan they found like an extra lobe or tissue or something on my flow senta so they wanted to make sure at my delivery that everything got delivered properly and nothing was left behind because I could experience postpartum hemorrhaging and like bleed out essentially so that was a really big scare for me but they ended up doing a second anatomy scan to really confirm that because they weren't a hundred percent sure my first Anatomy scan so they had me come back to reconfirm everything and when I went in for my second one they said that I had no sign of a century of placenta and that everything looked completely normal so I kind of just took all this out of my head and didn't ever worry about it again because again I told me that I didn't have it so I went on for the rest of my pregnancy thinking that everything was normal but I guess I did have some sort of placenta that was left back behind because when I delivered my placenta I saw it and it was all intact it looks like a normal place on top so I don't know what this like tissue was that was left back behind but the nurse that saw it said that she wanted to get her charge nurse which was her higher up to come in and take a look at it because she wasn't a hundred percent sure what it was and so once the charge nurse came in and looked at it she was kind of worried and she thought that I could start experiencing postpartum hemorrhaging so she said that she was going to have to do a cervix sweep to remove everything and that was awful you guys I can't even explain the amount of pain that I was put in during that procedure it was it was horrible without a doubt a hundred times worse than giving birth I would rather have both of my birth back-to-back over and over again multiple times than have to do a cervix weep because she sticks her entire forearm up to her elbow inside your cervix while she's pressing on your uterus from the outside massaging it and pulling all of the blood and all of the remnants whatever that was stuck up there behind trying to push it out with her hand while she's scraping your uterus from the inside in it it hurts so bad I literally looked like The Exorcist flailing around on a hospital bed screaming at the top of my lungs to this lady for her to get her arm out of me I was out of my mind and even Adam said that he almost had to leave the hospital room because he couldn't bear to see me in that much pain he didn't know what to do and that is so not like my husband my husband isn't really the emotional type and for him to say that really kind of put in perspective how intense that moment was so after she scraped my uterus twice she told the other nurse to put fentanyl in my IV why she didn't do this before she did this in the first place I have no idea but after she put the fentanyl in my IV I was able to calm down a little bit it still hurt really bad but it was a lot more bearable than without it and she kept reminding me that if she weren't to get everything out that she was going to have to wheel me into o-r for them to surgically remove everything and then I would be away from Shay and Adam for a while and I wouldn't be able to see my baby for a while because I would be recovering in a different room I guess so that was enough for me to kind of like mentally focus on just not being away from Shay and Adam so I just sucked it up and after I think she did it a total of four times she was able to get it all out and then she wheeled in in ultrasounds to make sure that everything was delivered and everything was but I did end up having a lot more blood this postpartum and I did with Bailey's I think for that reason I'm not 100% sure but I think that's why so after that happened I was so worn out physically and emotionally but I was still on such a high with how perfect Shay was that I couldn't sleep I just spent the entire night just staring at her and awe she's honestly then the perfect addition to our growing family and we've been completely smitten with her ever since so both of my births were really difficult for very different reasons but I think this birth was more emotionally difficult for me because of everything that happened even before I was admitted but I am however extremely grateful for both of them because about it I wouldn't have my to speak girls whom I love so much they are honestly the best parts of me and I would do it all over again and a heartbeat so that was my birth story wish Shay I hope that answered some of your guys's questions I know like the day that I posted on Instagram a lot of you wanted to know what was going on but I just like wasn't emotionally ready to kind of answer everyone but hopefully that answered all of your questions and if you guys aren't following me on Instagram I post pictures of Shay and Bailey Khan's mostly Shay because Bailey is really hard to get pictures of because she's two and a half and she's so busy but I post pictures of Shay constantly so if you want to see updates on her be sure to follow me on Instagram but as always thank you guys so much for following along on my journey with me thank you guys for being patient for me to get this video up give this video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it subscribe to my channel if you haven't already and I will see you guys in my next one bye

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