Story time: pregnant and having a miscarriage



hey guys I just thought I'd share this story with you guys because I know a lot of girls go through it and you guys are not alone so this is my story about my miscarriage and how I found out I was pregnant and stuff okay so I'm shaky okay so when I found out I was pregnant I was 17 and you can say that I just I had a lot of pregnancy scares before so I didn't really like think anything of it because I was like mmm like you know I'm just freaking myself out and um so like I don't know I guess I got like this one symptom though just out of the blue that I was like nah this isn't right so I had my sister-in-law well I don't know if I could say sister-in-law cuz we're not married yet but going to be my sister-in-law like she took me to get a pregnancy test from the dollar store so it was just a dollar whatever pregnancy test and I took it and when I I was waiting for it in the bathroom you know so I was like whatever just gonna be one line like Oh like normal you know my god whatever I was like carefree and then I went to go like clean up a little bit and I put everything away and I looked at it again and that it was a faint line on the other side you know I have two lines when I keep like a pregnancy test if it's positive as two lines so like the other line was like faint but you could see it wasn't that faint to where like you have to look really hard at it but it was like there and so I remember waiting for my mom to get home and stuff and I showed her my test and she was like you're lying you know you got the wrong test is probably about like the ovulation test or something like that I was like no mom it's a pregnancy test and I like showed her the box and I was like pregnancy test and she was like a child she said my bad anyways so you know you went to the doctors and stuff and everything you know and I just say that my boyfriend wasn't too happy you know like we're still young I just find my boyfriend was 18 I was 17 you know like we're like young and we're still young because it's only been like about 10 months since this happened so you know I would have had my baby already if I was still pregnant but um so when I told him about it like he didn't really take it too well I'd say like my biggest fear was him leaving me and stuff like I was like so worried about that like I wasn't even worrying about myself and stuff oh they're gonna know he's gonna leave me is gonna break up with me and stuff you know I was like really stressed and you know like he wouldn't talk to me he wouldn't like acknowledge me when I was there was like I was like a ghost kind of and like that really affected me you know and stuff and you know like young teens getting pregnant you know what I mean like but um so you know I went to my appointments and so when I got there she was doing the ultrasound right and like at this time I was supposed to be around seven weeks pregnant and when she did the ultrasound she was like are you sure that you're seven weeks and I was like yeah I should be because you know when I found I was pregnant I did that little pregnancy tractor thing whatever my phone and I said like I was five weeks when I found out I was pregnant so when I went into the doctor to get my ultrasound has already been like three weeks or so that since I went so I was had to be seven or eight weeks around there and she was like hmm she was like it looks like you're still five she said are you sure like you weren't like farther along than what you thought you were and I was like no I don't think so and then so she was like okay well the schedule for another two weeks so uh you know so this time I would have been like ten weeks pregnant by then you know and they would see a change or so and if they saw a change that means I was farther like a lot farther behind than what I was or whatever so then you know a couple weeks past I go back and and so they look at the ultrasound and nothing changed you know like nothing changed at all and they were like wow that's really weird they're really he is either like you know like it's like having trouble growing or like you're gonna end up having a miscarriage you know like they told me like straight out like that you know like you know how time to think about it if I wanted to get just a vaccum abortion or something like that but I didn't want that like I don't I didn't want that and um you know so I just because I'm really like religious or I'm gonna call it religious because I don't consider myself like a religion but I do have a relationship between me and God so I was praying to him about it and I was just like you know if you want me to have this baby let me have it if not then just take it you know what I mean and stuff and so I went back the next couple of weeks I would have been like 12 or 13 weeks by then and so keep in mind that the baby was about this like this small like right there like that tiny and when I went in that last time there was nothing there nothing at all no little dot no nothing just the eggs the egg sac whatever that is called the what the baby grows in that was the only thing that was in there no baby in that scene so they were like you had a miscarriage because I guess they say that like when you have miscarriages that your baby actually shrinks down like that so get smaller and smaller or whatever and so you know that's obviously why you couldn't see it on the screen anymore or whatever so you know I felt like sad in my heart because I really I didn't want it like I really did like my family all has kids young like they all do so I was like nothing like strange out of the ordinary for like somebody am I found me to get pregnant around 16 or 17 you know like it's not a big issue with my family and so you know like I waited a couple of weeks nothing happened I got him bleed yet or anything like that you know and then I was spending the night at my friend's house and I had woken up like like around 9:00 or so and like I just felt something like wet like you know like when you start your period and you feel it like you peed your pants or something so that's what I felt and then and then I like around to the bathroom because I was like what the hell and then I run to the bathroom and like right when I run I was wearing shorts like one of those like like like booty shorts are sort of and so but they were like loose so like all of the blood just started going down I was trying to catch it on my hand and everything and my it was like a shark attack in there you know and I remember I was sitting there and I was just like bawling my eyes out like literally making sounds when I cry you know like when a baby cries or something and they're like you know like overdramatically about it so they make sounds when they're crying that's how I was crying and so I woke up one of my other friends I was spending the night with us and so he came in well he didn't come in he knocked on the door and asked if I was okay and I was like no and I let him in you know cause like you know my friend he well he's not my friend anymore but that's like a mother story for another time you know but um so I let him in you know like cuz you know he's my friend we've been friends for a long time keep in mind my friends gay so I don't really mind I'm seeing myself like you know like that and so I let him in and all he saw was the blood on the floor and everything and he woke up my friend and Holika like these aren't my friends anymore but like they were at that time and so she woke up and she was like want me to call my grandpa take you to the hospital but I was already calling my mom and my mom she like lives like because I live in Santa Fe New Mexico and my mom lives all the way in Taos New Mexico so that's by pretty far away from each other I'm not that far but like you know like really far out ever so I called her and I guess she was in town because her she was dating this guy that lived in Santa Fe so she would come down and see him and he was she was staying at his house so when I call this you like okay I'll be right over there right now and so I went to the doctors and everything and they just gave me like 800 milligrams of ibuprofen or something because like I was bleeding a lot like I literally I almost passed out because like I didn't want to go to like the hospital all bloody all over so like I went I got in the shower right and I'm having these like really really bad cramps like I don't know like some of you don't know what it feels like to have a miscarriage but it hurts like it's like the worst period you could ever get in your life you know it's like having like a really heavy period but 10 times more pain than what you would feel in an actual period and stuff and like you know like clots that are like this big come out of you and stuff like that like it's really not fun at all and so you know I almost passed out and everything because of how much pain I was in and how much blood was coming out and stuff like I was really like mm-hmm it was not fucking fun and you know like the reason why I like I wanted to share this because I know like a lot of teens and a lot of like adults and women deal with miscarriages and I know that it's not easier to go through even in later on life because now I look at like kids and I see like their moms and their babies together and I'm like that could have been me you know what I mean like that could have been me but like it's not because you know and you know it gets hard and stuff like me and my boyfriend were still together you know like I'm 18 now he's 19 but you know like it's really not that easy to go through in the after process of it like people think it's like oh like you just forget about it afterwards you don't it was there it happened and it sucks you know like I really did want it like I wanted my baby and stuff you know and it sucks but I just want to let you guys know that you guys are not alone in this and you know like you guys will get through it and you guys will learn how to cope with it and stuff and I wish you guys have the best day best night I don't know what day or time it is for your ass but just want to let you know that you guys will get through it

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