oh wow okay guys so I started having like this thought like Amazon right it's full of like these this is so stupid I'm sure why am I even saying this I had the thought okay Amazon is followed these like protests like sometimes they are not real test you know you get them and they're positive but it's not real I think I like read a story about that recently and while in my head I know that's stupid and that that's not true I'm also eating salami and I'm not supposed to eat salami if I'm pregnant then anyway I couldn't find the weeks indicator test and I went to two different stores so I'm not going to anymore but just in case the other tests are bogus I got the first response there's a digital or no digit at all and then just the regular test so we're gonna see very sure 100% I'm stressed out you guys you don't even know I don't even know I know that God has a plan I understand that fully and I fully believe that and it's like really weird mixed emotions because my reasons for not wanting to be pregnant are completely selfish like I don't know why my camera is not focusing I'm so sorry my reasons for not wanting to be pregnant are completely selfish just that I was losing weight and I was doing really good and I kind of had a rhythm with my business and I don't know I don't know my husband doesn't seem that upset about my case seems totally cool with having a sixth child I guess I will be too in time it's just shocking it's just so shocking and I don't think the girls are gonna take it well he's will be excited Jack don't care Aidan won't care but the girls will not be excited this is like old it's from lunch but it's still mildly cool so I'm drinking it uh I'm worried about gaining weight and I'm already like sitting here eating salami and drinking coke which I haven't done in a very long time this is cheese that was another thing that tipped me off in early pregnancy every time every time within the first six weeks of pregnancy my first thing is that I start craving pickles and cheese and I don't normally I'll eat cheese here and there but I don't normally like love the goals like I don't normally keep them around I don't normally eat them but I went to the store last week and by golly I picked up two jars of pickles and some string cheese I didn't think about it when I bought it I was like Oh pickles look good and this morning I opened the fridge and I noticed that entire pickle jar both of them one was already empty the other one was almost gone but not eaten in two jars of pickles in a week that's not me so that was another thing that tipped me off and but I'd already ordered the test cuz I was like there's no way I am so just Amazon some cheapo seven dollar test like you get like twenty four seven bucks or something this stupid thing I get to test in here and I think I paid like eighteen ninety five or something for it one of those tests I'm not even pregnant disbelief does not even it does not even cover it it doesn't even cover how I'm feeling right now it will be fine it will be fine I know that and we've already got five children in the past when we've gotten pregnant the for our first thought has been financially oh my gosh we can't afford another kid and that's not the case this time we can we can afford another child and it's not an issue and I feel so selfish I was totally my husband I was like I haven't even a selfish person in the world because my first thought was that I'm gonna get that who thinks that whose first thought is that they're gonna get fat obviously it's worth it and I don't know this is just so crazy insane I have to call my doctor tomorrow and the thing of it is cuz I can't hide it from the girls for too long I had this whole plan of waiting till like oh we know the gender before I told the girls but I can't even do that cuz they're gonna know they're gonna know because I'm gonna have so many doctors appointment am i considered advanced maternal age I'm 33 does that happen when you're 30 or 35 you guys am I like a geriatric pregnancy patient there's a lot what's happening here it's really not I feel like 33 is still pretty young anyway I'm going to go home I'm going to watch a movie and I'm going to eat chocolate I'm going to try to just distress a little bit and not worry about this so much because it is when it is and the Bible says children are a blessing from award and I need to just consistently remember that children are a blessing from the Lord from little but from the Lord and they are they are I know that I'm also gonna take this and all I'll film myself taking this as well so you guys can see for sure but I'm not even gonna be surprised anyway I'm going home I'm supposed to like flash doing anything he's going can already see the control light on that one yeah pretty much baby number sex are you kidding me I'm feeling the control that's like apparently shine do you see that so this one is definitely gonna say yes for sure so I had those then I also had these would be internet GP ones it's pretty welcome Oh as I can't pull out

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