THE HARDEST UPDATE EVER Baby #5 Pregnancy Update. What Do I Plan To Do..?

guys so before we get started on today's video I just want to let you guys know that this is random clips before you know I do explain everything to y'all just random clips that I had extra and I just just had to throw them on the vlog because I didn't want their clips to go to waste because you know I love seeing my pretty princess walk and I think it's so cute seeing her walk so I hope you guys enjoyed today's video and if you did hit that thumbs up button also please don't judge me please don't judge me please do not judge me for what I'm going to say in this video so I love you guys thank y'all so much for supporting me and not judging me well the ones I don't judge me of course but the ones I do to judge me kick rocks I love was out I've been going crazy without you so long quiet in my room right now without you and I couldn't really make you stay so what to do I'm just staring at my walls if you ran into something go mama she's turning you want to be in the camera do that baby get that – there you go you got it turn it around laughter corner in my shop he got a baby girl turn it Oh go from the first time a cool kind of melody you rattle my cage without warning tipped it upright till the morning and no kind of ecstasy the one I'd like to be a different side of me side of me like someone really need a different side of me yeah I like this video it's gonna be a hard me do to film for the simple fact that how I'm feeling about everything you know but a lot of people is been asking me questions I read all you guys comments I read I got some messages and yeah I'm so blessed to have all y'all that are here just gonna support me on regardless what I do of course there's some of y'all that Santa has man I feel like you should keep the baby so I decided to come on here and kind of talk to you guys on why I just don't see myself keeping this baby right I have an appointment coming up I don't know um put this up okay so I got appointment coming up my brother's actually gonna watch the kids while I got my plane me because I supposed to go so my point made with my kids father or whatever you want to call it so yeah this is so weird talking about this but long story short I mean suppose suppose this appointment with him he was just like a make appointment and we'll go and I was like so what are you trying to do remind you man this man have not really been I don't know we were communicating real good like we was vibing really well and then he started falling off that's something I cannot do the lack of communication really it's hard for me because you know giving that the kind of person that I am I like to communicate I like to communicate and see how you feel about something you know when it comes to every little thing I want to know what's up like if you feel some type of way about something you can tell me I don't want it to be where you feel like you just cannot talk to me about something I just don't like that and you know that's like where we like at and when I talk to him so yeah when I was kind of shook when he was like hey Leah let's schedule a schedule appointment I'll go with you you know I don't want you calera printed by yourself or whatever not okay but I was still confused I was like so what route are we going with this situation what are you trying to do my first hit was like you know he was like oh yeah let's get abortion because you know I'm not ready for a kid either cuz one he has multiple kids he has like if we put our kids together that's the total of 10 kids 10 and you know in my head I'm just like I'm not really mentally stable or mentally ready for baby myself like I would I just I don't know like it'll be a lot of stress on me given that I have twins although that the father would be here to help me or whatever right so go to that appointment or whatever and I'm actually going oh my god I'm going to the appointment today and I just don't know how to feel I did take some pregnancy test I took more than one Allah people you say asked me take a digital take more than one I took more than one I took before and one was digital and I don't I just don't know how to feel right now it's kind of confusing I don't know what to do I'm just not ready one of the baby I know a lot of you are gonna say jasmine why would you kill another baby we're not we was not trying to have a baby to be completely blunt and completely honest we did use protection don't ask me what happened obviously something happened okay um we did and like I felt like something I didn't feel us okay one for example I'm gonna get to this point one day I felt like you know maybe I need to go buy pants Plan B so I went and bought one although I took it a little bit late but I just something felt like I needed to get one so I got one took it but obviously that plan beating step it didn't become Plan B it was like oh no honey you took me too late um so I just don't see us having a kid like that's our lack of communication between each other is horrible we don't communicate like me and him don't talk a lot we just said no the lack of communication was before the whole pregnancy stuff we started to follow I need stability on his end if we do decide to keep his baby and of course you know we've been talking about it and it's kind of been like oh my goodness I don't know well what do you want to do do you want to keep the baby do you want to keep the baby I don't know what do you think I should do I don't know that's where it comes in our communications all it's all up you know I'm Sam and I hear someone's yelling at somebody its Ava yelling at Eden but I just don't see myself having another baby I really I'm leaning more towards abortion and I'm not gonna say something but as of now in my mind because this is my body regardless if the dad is decided to be here or not our lack of communication if I decide to keep the baby I'll do my part but you know right now it's kind of all up in the air because I just don't I just need to let it sit in my mind and I need to digest the fact that I've just seen positive pregnancy test okay so that's probably what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go and do the confirmation because you know I did I am considered high-risk pregnancy since I did carry twins and I did not carry them to full school I will turn technically it's kind of full term but they were still premature so I'm gonna sit with this about chest for a while I'm gonna see what I'm gonna do or how I'm gonna go about this whole pregnancy I have not talked to Phillip about it yet I know a lot of people were like Jenna don't worry about him but you know a part of me I've known him for 16 years I feel like I'm obligated to tell him even though we're not together you know what I'm saying but at the end of the day you guys a lot of people to have negative stuff to say this is my body this is my personal life I just choose to share my personal life with you guys and honey I know I know I'm not perfect I'm far from perfect I'm far from the perfect mother far from the perfect one meant anything I'm learning I have a lot to learn I'm still growing just so I want to be successful in life and you know and some people say well why would you keep having babies honey I had I think people don't get it because I have four kids but technically it's like it was three pregnancies and that's what people just don't get and they like to bash me to the point because I have four kids and they like you know your own assistance I'm only on assistance to help feed my kids you know then I get that whole stop having kids and you won't have to be on assistance I didn't ask for help to go to jail I didn't ask for Phil to ruin a happy home with a trifling female I asked for the bare minimum when it comes to my relationships when it comes to a man I didn't ask for this life I didn't ask for my man to leave me after 16 years but one thing I did failed to mention is that I am grateful for my four beautiful babies and I wouldn't change it for the world I didn't ask to meet another man that I thought that I really like this dude but our communications jacked up and I just don't see it going any further I'm trying to you know I sit here and I'm telling others but I try to talk to him I've tried to talk to him several times about what's up and how I feel about something you know he will go days without responding back to me so I just the lack of communication is just not there you know the lack of communication is just it's not what's up I can't do that you know I've tried like I said I've tried to be understanding everything you know I know he has kids you know he has six kids I get it I get it completely and you know if I do decide to keep the pregnancy I just need him to I don't need him you know I'm saying cutting our link falling I just need this man to do his part I'm not forcing a kid on no man I'm not forcing you to love your kid my forcing you do anything but just do your part be a dad and I'm not gonna say he's not the bad guy because he's not a bad guy he takes care of his kids true to the tee and it's it's a blessings if I may not actually take care of their kids but so as of now you guys just gonna Chum no I'm just gonna sit on this okay i'ma sit on this pregnancy and let it dwell in my mind just to see where I'm gonna go with this I don't know if i'ma keep it if I do I will let you guys know of course and that's another reason why I have not told my kids anything yet because I just don't know which way I'm going to go with this so they don't know of course are young and they don't get it like I'm mostly Caitlyn but my mom does know I know a lot more no reaction on the whole pregnancy her reaction or something I guess I can try to attempt to ask her on camera but you guys to be honest I've been completely stressed out about the whole pregnancy stuff but I just have not been in the mood someone to vlog really and just I just don't know what to do so it took all my energy to get on camera right now and explain to you guys what's going on because of simple fact that you guys are so negative oh my god and a lot of people know how far I am but yeah I don't know it took a lot of interviews like I said for me to get on here and talk to y'all because I just get so much backlash and drama and everything so alright so I'm in this video leave it at that I'll come back to out when I decide on what the hell I wanted to do I probably did drop it in a vlog if I can't but you would know you get a pregnancy update if I didn't keep it you still know because I let you know I got abortion but like I said I know I'm get a lot of backlash on the whole situation just wait on it I don't even care at this point this is my life I just decided to share my life with y'all and bring along with me so thank you again for all the ones that are so sweet and positive in San Jazmin we're gonna support your decision no matter what you do thank y'all so much because there's so many messages I've gotten from y'all that said that I know my comments are still disabled because of YouTube but the ones that I have Gaia thank you so much I really appreciate that you're not bashing me you're seeing everything from my point of view and you're just like okay you know what is what was she do if she brought in another baby into this world with this with these kind of men and all this stuff so thank you I'm really appreciate y'all I love y'all and I will catch y'all in our next video which will probably be a vlog so oh yeah you know it still hurts a little bit but not that much cuz if you want somebody else Who am I to judge I've been thinking about you all the time that's alright I'm starting to get used to it I think I'll survive

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