Waiting For A Miracle Or A Miscarriage


So Apple Jack is still with me… till he
isn’t until he isn’t so I actually wouldn’t mind if he stuck around until
Christmas but we’ll see we’ll see hi thanks for clicking on Simply Tanika
I am Tanika if you are new here welcome hit that subscribe button let’s hang out
awhile if you are returning welcome what’s up fertility fam we got to do
what lets get those babies ladies pregnancy test um I ran into this room
to take this call apologies for the audio I am speaking to dr. McConnell who
is my reproductive endocrinologist I haven’t spoken to her since I was
stimming I triggered the night before Thanksgiving the Wednesday before and
she wasn’t there she hadn’t been there for the end of my
stimming so basically she’s reviewing with me my HCG and she’s saying while it
is a positive pregnancy test we would expect to be closer to ultrasound right
now which would be around 1100 and so she says because the numbers are so low
it is likely indicative of a non-viable pregnancy and she wants me to be
prepared for that outcome and so she’s just going over the results and and what
all that means with the HCG being so low and the implantation being late and then
really not being able to age applejack okay ah okay it’s okay so um I guess
what do we do for like options or I have texted with blue so he knows what’s
going on and he’s the only one who knows what’s going on I haven’t told my mom I
never talked to anybody about it and I felt bad one of the young ladies
at work asked me and I just was like I talked to the doctor but I didn’t say I still can’t say I didn’t answer her question I guess I
wasn’t 100% honest and it’s her last day she’s not back to the New Year it just
was heavy we were having a light conversation and I just I couldn’t and I
know she asked because she was concerned and I didn’t want to be the center of
attention I didn’t want the focus to be on me so or for her to be worrying about
me over her right because she’s just that way she would have texted me and I
checked on me and I don’t need it right now I don’t know what I’m feeling I have
all the fields um yeah I don’t know I don’t know how to articulate what I’m
feeling I guess I don’t know how to I have to process it I have to process it
for me it’ll probably probably be Saturday
Sunday I don’t know we’ll see come on was a busy day at work
and their number off for four days because it’s almost Friday Saturday
Sunday and then Monday Tuesday our Christmas Eve and Christmas and but I
don’t know I didn’t get into it with her like what my projection was and what my
estrogen was and so maybe there’s a story of the numbers it doesn’t matter
at this point but yeah I just wanna come on and close out I’m okay or I’ll be
okay yeah I don’t want you guys to be worried about me I know that you were
rooting for me and I appreciate that I thank you guys all for love and
support and kind words and I hope no one loses the faith because of this because
I think there were many miracles and many gifts and I’m grateful for all of
them I obviously hope for a different outcome I don’t know what my next steps are
gonna be I did talk there as you’ve heard with dr. McConnell like options
I’m totally interested in that but I don’t know if that’s emotional or if
that’s logical and I never make financial decisions based on emotion
alone and so I’ve got to sort out my emotions figure out what’s going on and
make a move from a position of strength and not a fear and you don’t know who I
you don’t know so Lucy all right Cheyenne ordered Harlem shake so I’m
gonna go eat that with her she actually remembered to order something for me
this time she asked me what I wanted which was nice and yeah I don’t want her
to be worried about me either so I just haven’t said anything I will eventually
but not tonight maybe not so after Christmas I think maybe not till after
Christmas but you know that’s it actually by the time you guys see this
little B after Christmas a whole whole you gotta get Christmas and it’ll be
okay yeah well I know it will be okay either way no matter what happens I will
be okay I will be different I’m forever different since starting on this
fertility journey and yeah and I saved fertility journey with purpose because
it’s a journey to support retain extend my fertility I don’t want to be on an
infertility journey because where is that going but yeah yeah
so we’ll see I’m going to take a few days off from vlogging I don’t know how
long definitely today is the 20th or
definitely I’m not gonna vlog again until after Christmas at least this I’m
committed to vlogmas so those will go on and there’ll be some other stuff on the
channel I’ve got some things that I just hadn’t had time to edit note to self
don’t decided to do all these crazy things
additional work edit and vlogmas and have ivf like that was a bit off too
much I’m so behind and everything so I’m gonna catch up on that so I will still
be working for you guys to put out content I just won’t be creating any new
content for a little bit I’m gonna regroup and who gets back on Christmas
and we’re making cookies and I have those things to look forward to so I
probably will make Christmas Eve and I wish I had even though we don’t normally
do that but this year why not just don’t work you know what yeah just work
Christmas Eve I don’t know what I’m doing on Christmas Eve I’ll figure it
out maybe I’ll just sit around in my pajamas and who knows who knows so
Applejack is still with me until he isn’t until he isn’t so I actually
wouldn’t mind if he stuck around until Christmas but we’ll see we’ll see all
right I’ll talk to you ladies later thank you so much for your love your
support your prayers your kind words your encouragement it has meant the
world to me you guys are all amazing and I love you I love you and I’m so
grateful so grateful for you the rest of us somebody all of us we got to get
those babies so I’m out but I’m not down so I will or is it I’m down and not out
I’m down but I’m not out I’m something I’m on the sidelines I don’t know I’m
not even it’s farts sanim I’ve been crazy analogies but yeah I’m gonna
pamper myself a little bit tonight face mask I put those nails on finally and
some other stuff and just be good

78 Replies to “Waiting For A Miracle Or A Miscarriage”

  1. Around 4:20, after you say β€œit will probably be Saturday, Sunday, idk, we’ll see” you have an orb travel from your head down your shoulder and arm….if you have any loved ones who have passed, this is just a sign that they’re with you and hugging you during this time πŸ’—

  2. I'm a new sub and I hope Applejack is a miracle baby I'll be praying for you during this time just remember don't give up. Much love and God bless!

  3. At 2:39 you had an orb that went down from your head that’s weird and at 4:24 what are those ? Actually if you watch the whole video you have bunch of orbs coming down

    Anyway your such a strong woman . You give me hope and courage with ttc journey. I hope you get rewarded

  4. One thing A Dr, Any Dr .Can Never Understand ,nor Will Ever Comprehend is SUPERNATURAL!!! Our Creator Can Perform MIRACLES BEYOND ALL COMPREHENSION! Pray Pray Pray, Stay in Your BIBLE! God Is Not A Man who should lie!

  5. Your steps have already been ordered. I don't know the final destination BUT I do know you ARE walking this journey with just grace and just purpose, and I thank you for sharing your personal moments and thoughts with me. Please let me know how I can support you. Love you, T.

  6. God bless u Tanika and I'm praying for a positive outcome. Baby dust to u and every1 TTCing πŸ’«πŸŒˆπŸ’«πŸŒˆπŸ’«πŸ™πŸ™

  7. Oh gosh, I didn’t realize this was filmed before Christmas! I know that the constant questions for updates can get overwhelming so I just want to say that I hope everything is well β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

  8. πŸ™πŸΌπŸŒˆπŸŒŸπŸ‘ΆπŸΌ
    Bless every lesson you need and that you gain the insight you need to move forward.
    May God bless you with humor, resiliency and the gratitude of the journey.

  9. Are you still taking macs root? It helped my sister keep her baby. And progesterone cream. God willing everything works out

  10. I'm sorry the journey is so hard. Please tell us if there is Anything we can do to support you. Praying ❀️❀️❀️

  11. Hugs hugs hugs prayers and more hugs and prayers Love youπŸ’‹β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ

  12. Be encouraged. Sending tons of hugs. Yes we have to get those babiesπŸ™πŸΎπŸ™πŸΎπŸ™πŸΎ

  13. You seem aaaaaammmmmaaaaaaazing an amazing human, you will be blessed … I hope your apple jack stays πŸ™πŸ» I love you; even though I don’t know you, every single one of your videos I watch my heart sends you hugs and well wishes πŸ™πŸ», wishing you THE BEST.
    – loving subscriber living with endometriosis

  14. Doesn't telling everyone so soon put one under so much pressure? At my age and under my circumstances if I were blessed I always thought I would need to be very far into the pregnancy b4 I said a word. It's 3 weeks after this video was taped then released. I hope Apple Jack has stayed with you.β™₯️

  15. Sending you all the love, if only wanting something badly enough was the answer. β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

  16. I'm wishing you the best. I'm really hoping that you'll be posting soon about Apple Jack the miracle baby. Sending you a virtual hug❀️❀️❀️

  17. If only we could see the road beyond the twist and turns, then we would know which path to follow. This journey can be so exhausting; mentally, physically and financially. Let the desires of your heart fuel your drive to success. Speaking fondly from the 40+ club!πŸ’›

  18. Please be positive and be happy. Stress will not help but to be happy and positive will help you get success. Applejack is with you and will be with you. Trust me

  19. Hi tanika dont worry my lord my guru i have prayed for yu all be ok he is the supreme power sai baba lots of love best wishes πŸ‘

  20. β€œI have all the feels.” I think that sums up what many of us have felt before. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. It takes strength to share.

  21. Hello tanika girl u are strong,u remind me of myself ,I say that cuz I know apple Jake is roasting in you can't nun tell me different and I see u going full term.im happy for u cuz God has the last word.im pregnant now but early on in to it the I was spotting and my OB at the time Said I was misscar.so I told her I've had 5 mis,1stillborn 1chemical,I'm use to this I waited for it but nun happened went back to doctor a month later and God had that last word I'm 10 weeks thank god.sorry so long but I said that to say this we serve a awesome God , God gives doctor knowledge not the last word.god mks no mistakes luv gurlπŸ€—πŸ˜˜

  22. I feel that God is giving you a miracle which is a healthy pregnancy and Apple Jack is sticking until full term congratulations

  23. Tanika, it's my opinion your jouney has been incredible with beating the odds according to statistics. AJ was late to implant and so beta numbers will reflect that. The clinic only knows so much. I say God/Universe has a plan for you because you've been a beacon to so many others on their TTC.

  24. I'm waiting for a recent update.
    Everything is in gods hands, let him guide you! Thats all you can do.

    If this doesnt work you going to do ivf again?

  25. Oh darling you are fine and you will be fine. I am going through my 18th miscarriage at 10 week and I am still believing.(tho I will use surrogacy). Please look after you

  26. Dear Tanika, the journey is very hard but i liked when you said apple jack is still with me.Keep your faith. You are a strong girl.πŸ˜‰

  27. Hi tanika,
    Hope all sticks for you and all is ok. But I just saw a orb floating around you, I would say you have an angel watching over you. Amazing. Hang in there all will be ok.

  28. I just started watching your channel week's ago and subscribed and my heart goes out to you and I'm hoping you have your blessed baby.. You got me in tears hoping so much for you.. I love your attitude despite.. You are a blessing to others.. I couldn't have children at all.. So I wish for you to have your apple jack.. πŸ™β€οΈπŸ€—

  29. That Momma Goes youtube channel video on hpt sensitivities…….SurePredict at 10 miu HCG for cheapest price per test (end of video). Sorry your baby soul still waits for you, after so much hope.

  30. Good Morning Tanika, I am praying long and hard for you , Apple Jack , your family and the doctors, nurses, staff, "the village". You are such a blessing and hope to so many of us…I know all is in divine right order as I did a treatment/prayer for you all this morning. Thank you for sharing with all of us so lovingly and humbly your journey to bring your baby to this world.

  31. Did you do progesterone shots or Crinone gel during the 2 weeks wait? I think if you did progesterone oil shots the results wld have been different. Plz don't give up.

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