44 Replies to “When You Don’t Get the Birth You Wanted: Unplanned C-Section, Postpartum Depression & More: Part 1”

  1. Thank you for sharing this story! I had a traumatic birth experience as well. I had GDM and was induced at 37 and 0 due to failing NST. I had an emergency c section due to cord prolapse and I am also in the healthcare field. I had dreamt about this very emergency throughout my pregnancy. I still have not dealt completely with it. My daughter is 3.5 and I am eight weeks pregnant again with first trimester GDM and very scared because this pregnancy already seems to be out of control. I can't wait to watch the next video about healing <3

  2. I love how real this. I’m 35 weeks & have been feeling somewhat depressed and regret being pregnant some days, and it’s something I haven’t even shared with my husband. I don’t want to feel this way, nor do I want to feel that way after giving birth. This video shows that these things can definitely happen, and that I need to seek out help & support before it all comes to that point.

  3. Hi Sarah, I just wanted to let you know that you’ve helped me so much. I’m not pregnant, and in fact very single but I love your videos. I have always been terrified of giving birth because I honestly feel like I couldn’t do it. Then I found you. I have watched just about every single one of your videos and realized that this is something that I need to be more educated about. Instead of being terrified and ruling it out for myself, which I had done for a long time, that I needed to become more educated about my fears. It wasn’t until then that I realized that as a female, we are born to be able to do it. We can give birth, through vaginal or cesarean. Our bodies are made to do this and it’s something I can’t wait to experience. It wasn’t until this video however, that I realized that being a paranantal psychologist is something that I could actually want to be! Birth fascinates me, the fact that we can do something as crazy as push a baby out of a small hole is phenomenal. While I am about done with my bachelors I am now considering becoming a birthing psychologist! I feel like there is such a need for it and if I can help a mama cope and overcome birth that’s something I would want to do!

  4. Wow—you were so vulnerable. Thank you for sharing this. I feel like there is so much pressure on women after giving birth to say immediately that they’ve never felt a love like they have for their baby/their birth was the best experience of their life, being a mom is the best thing that every happened to them, etc. I’m sure that these things were so hard to say but it’s so important that you did to get rid of the stigma. You are so brave and helped so many women. Thank you.

  5. Wow! I recognise my experience in hers. especially in the way i felt after my emergency c-section. Feeling like a failure. As I tried to process that feeling, everytime i would talk about it to someone, I felt like they would shut me down. Add to that the fact that he was transfered to a children's hospital for tests (and they kept him 2 nights for other non-transfer related tests that were not an emergency, instead of bringing him back to me). Every time I would explain how I felt that it was uncessary that he was transfered or kept 2 nights, people would just answer back "at least you know that everything is good with him and you won't have to go back later for the hearing tests"… I would not have cared to do 10 trips to the hospital in the fist weeks if it meant having my baby by my side in those 48 first hours

  6. Thank you for sharing, Haley!! This is so important and I admire your courage to say those hard things out loud!!

  7. I'd definitely watch a video regarding the differences and similarities between "baby blues" and post-partum depression.

  8. Your words mean so much, I’m still only in my first trimester and when I told my mother she seemed excited but hasn’t really talked about it since. But my Aunt made sure to tell me that my mother had a very very hard time with ppd and actually almost killed herself. I think if it wasn’t such a secret my mother would of warned me about it. It’s important for to-be mothers to know about.

  9. Your friend was my L&D nurse here in Florida 1 month ago before my delivery went downhill. Holy shit.

  10. Thank you so much for opening up and being vulnerable with us Haley! I am proud of you for seeking help, and for taking care of yourself. I’m sure it took a lot of work to be in a place where you felt empowered enough to use your trauma as an education tool for the world.

  11. I wish you was in the uk, 18 years ago I had my first baby via emergency c section at 7 months due to restricted blood flow in placenta. I am now 16+? weeks pregnant (waiting for dating scan) and so excited, I love watching your videos and re-educating myself, I Hope I get to full term this time. ❤ xx

  12. Oh my goodness , crying my eyes out . this is definitely the same almost exact experience, although I planned on having an epidural it stopped working , i was 9cm also I could feel her head and felt like I needed to push, I still had cervix so I needed a c section, I could also feel when they cut into me and had to be put asleep and this is what killed me the most I didn’t get to hear that little cry or see her all covered in all that mess , also lost lots of blood and had to get 3 units of blood . Still makes me so emotional thinking about it all . I always feel like I failed myself like my body failed me .

  13. I am a doula and I would love to know what you do when you notice ppd symptoms in a mom and how you approach the situation. Do you just suggest to them to see someone? And what if they think they are don’t need to or are embarrassed to but you can see they are struggling? Thank you for this video!! It was very helpful!

  14. Wow! Thank you so much Haley for being so vulnerable with us all and sharing your story! That took so much courage! Thank you both for not being afraid to talk about all of this! So helpful <3

  15. This was such a great video to watch. Beggining with the trigger warning (amazing for us anxious people), leading to the story and how she felt. I loved it so much that that same night after i watched it I dreamed about making an appointment w a psychologist for my anxiety surrounding birth. Amazing content, love your videos. Love from Argentina.

  16. I suffered in silence with PPD after my first child. It was a traumatic birth, I was treated very badly during my prenatal care and delivery. I didn't know there was another way. With my 2nd, I went to a birth center. The prenatal care was so caring and wonderful. I wasn't able to deliver there since I had complications and needed an induction. But my treatment at the hospital and the education I had given myself on what I could ask for, how I could be my own advocate made even my unplanned hospital delivery a dream. I also had my placenta encapsulated and made into a tincture to help with PPD. It worked wonders. No trace of even the slightest hint of ANYTHING resembling PPD the 2nd time around.

  17. Thanks for sharing this video really touched me and woke me up to the reality that we don't always get what we want. I think about how my labor and delivery plans will all pan out 6 weeks from now. God bless you and your family!

  18. Thank you, Haley. Sarah, do you have any friends in the same profession who work in either the Bay Area or Seattle who provide group/ private classes?

  19. Haley ❤️ my experience wasn’t nearly as dramatic, but having been through an expedited, unplanned c-section after a difficult labor, I feel your pain and am so impressed that you are able to share it all today. Thank you for shining a light on challenging birth experiences, and proving that no matter what, you can still get to a happy, healthy place with your child. You are such a super mom!

  20. I literally cried listening to her first birth story because it sound so much like mine. I’m currently 12 days postpartum & ended up having a c section with my little girl. I was 120% not prepared for labor at all or how to cope with the pain that I would be feeling & lord let me tell you labor pain is a whole other level of pain. I ended up getting the epidural early as well I was only dilated to a 3 because I couldn’t handle the pain, I didn’t know how to handle it, I always knew it would hurt but that was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. The epidural worked for about 5 hour & then stopped and by then I was dilated to a 7 & was in so much pain I was literally screaming & everyone was trying to help & trying to get me to calm myself & breathe it out but it was so bad I was throwing up, I felt like I was going to pass out, the doctor came in a few hours later & told my mom he was gonna have to take my little girl because I was highly stressed & she was starting to get stressed and I hadn’t progressed in the past 5 hours, so I was at a 7 for 5 hours straight and felt every bit of it. It was the worst experience of my life & then I was taken to the operating room & had to get on the table & sit still through my contractions which were every 30/45 seconds as the anesthesiologists did my spinal needless to say I don’t plan on having another baby. My little girl is enough for me. I don’t want to go through that every again.

  21. I had extreme post partum depression with my daughter it took us five years to have her and when she was born she had an undiagnosed heart condition and she never stopped crying. She slept for 45 mins at a time and even if someone tried to help I was afraid she would die if someone else had her. I have lots of trauma from my childhood I thought it was healed but that trauma plus the extreme hours of screaming and crying pushed me to a point I dont wish on my worst enemy. No one ever talked about this to me! I was also having a very hard time breastfeeding and bleeding everytime I fed and waking up with blood on my sheets and big sores. The first year of my daughters life was insane! I thought about running in front of a car and running away and never coming back I had scary dreams about my husband killing us. I wish to this day I would have called out for help! I never got help and it was horrible. I thought if I asked for help I was weak and not worthy to my a mother. Please please please if you are having a hard time reach out!!!

  22. Thank you so much for this video, I’m 3wks away from my due date and scared of getting postpartum depression since my dream birth is slowly getting thrown out the window I’m trying to accept everything “flex and flow” thank you

  23. Hey I just wanted to tell you that I found a video in my que about women who used Geritol to get pregnant. Then all kinds of videos about it were out there and I bought the pill form the same day I watched all those videos in February . I have stopped taking them since last month(March) bc I got some “flow” or something for 3-4 days and I want to keep the prenatal in my system and taking both of them makes me sick. They are almost identical on the labels. What should I do, stop using the prenatal and just use the Geritol until I get pregnant?

  24. Can you please do a video about baby blues. I just gave birth a week ago and I want to know more about this because I think it's something I'm going through.

  25. You two are beautifulll and have such light I love it. She has come so far and my heart goes out to her. She is still a strong woman and I admire that.
    Also, even if you go into Birth knowing you'll have a C-section there's still a possibility of having PPD. I had her birth planned, I said before my daughter was breech and wouldn't turn via nature, her will or ECV. I had horrible PPD for around 5 months after she was born. It was horrible and I had to really work through it, especially sinse my husband was about to deploy for 8 months.

    In the hospital, I had wonderful nurses, but they were really aggressive with breastfeeding. I already felt like a "failure" because I didn't have a vaginal birth. I would love to see a video that talks about breastfeeding and when it's just not possible for a woman. Pumping every 20 minutes for months and still no milk, and people still judge. That was another factor in my PPD.

    Sorry, I always comment so much!

  26. Thank you so much for sharing this story. In preparation for all this, I have hired a doula to make sure I can mentally keep on track in the birth. Also, I have been seeing a therapist for my first trimester depression, I will be continuing to see her untill after the birth to make sure I can stay mentally ok. I'm glad that i have already been doing things to help myself succeed. This makes me feel more confident about the birth and the postpartum. Thank you

  27. Can you include preeclampsia in an episode if you haven’t already? I have to take low dose aspirin as a preventative measure and it makes me so nervous.

  28. I know there are many women in my situation, it’s like being in a deep hole and there’s a rope hanging down and you can see it but can’t grab it

  29. Please talk more about baby blues 🙂 waiting for a video <3 thanks a lot! Your videos really got me through a lot, I gave birth this Saturday, April 6, to my beautiful baby girl 😍😍😍and i don’t really feel like myself, like I’m not depressed or anything, but I’m adjusting to this new life, I’m always afraid at night, I can’t sleep at all cuz I always have to keep an eye on her, every time I swaddle her, she always gets free and trust me many people have swaddled her , it just doesn’t work, which is strange, so I use a sleep sack, but I always worry it’s not warm enough! Anyways argh I’m always worried 🙁 so I’m losing so much sleep and going crazy, and also she had jaundice which we had to go back to the hospital for and stay overnight, so man I’m always paranoid. I have help from my mother in law, since my husband has to go to work, which I don’t mind at all 🙂 he’s so helpful the second he gets home ! Wow I made this paragraph long hahaha but yawp ! Please make that baby blues video <3 and I’m sorry for your friend what she had to go through 🙁 oh and btw… in still so sore down there and can’t sit for too long, so that’s really getting at me, and I’ve tried everything to heal down there ,

  30. Thank you for talking so openly about this I had my daughter at 19 and had ppd to the point where I couldn't bond with her at all until she was almost 7 months old I thought at the time I was broken because all I ever heard during the pregnancy was how happy and joyous having a new baby is more young women need to know about this and know that they are not monsters or terrible and to feel like reaching out for help is the right thing to do.

  31. Haley, thank you so much for being brave and sharing your story. I'm sure talking about these things are still so difficult but you're helping so many people by being open and honest about your experience.

  32. This sounds like my birth story last week – I’ve blocked out a good 8 hours of my 17 hour labour before an emergency c section and my husband seems traumatised by it all. We can’t bond with our baby and are struggling with feeding, our baby cries all the time and I wonder what have we done in having him. It’s an awful feeling. My baby is currently upstairs with my sister in law as I cannot cope with him. I remember screaming for someone to help me and going into theatre and being able to feel them cutting and having to be be put under, it was a horrible reminder of our d&c miscarriage last year. I’m scared we’ll never bond with our baby.

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