Who’s The Baby Daddy: Jimmy Kimmel or Matt Damon?


SPEAKING OF, MY WIFE MOLLY AND I HAVE A BABY ON THE WAY. WE DON’T — [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] THANK YOU. WE DON’T KNOW THE BABY’S GENDER, WE LIKE THAT TO BE A SURPRISE. I TOOK MY VIDEO CAMON MY PHONE, WENT TO THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE. WE DID GET A SURPRISE. NOT A VERY GOOD SURPRISE.>>EVERYTHING IS LOOKING GREAT. THE DOCTOR WILL BE HERE SHORTLY.>>Jimmy: THANK YOU.>>THANK YOU.>>Jimmy: SO THIS IS YOUR ULTRASOUND. HOW MANY WEEKS, MOLLY?>>28.>>Jimmy: 28 WEEKS. AND THIS IS — I MEAN, WE JUST GOT TO LOOK AT YOU. NOTHING COULD RUIN THIS MOMENT. THIS IS VERY SPECIAL. REALLY IS. SO SWEET. WE CAN’T WAIT –>>SORRY I’M LATE.>>Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?>>I DON’T KNOW.>>Jimmy: WHAT IS THIS?>>YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM IF.>>Jimmy: TELL ME WHAT? TELL ME WHAT?>>I’M THE FATHER. [ LAUGHTER ]>>Jimmy: WHAT?>>THE FATHER OF –>>Jimmy: NO YOU’RE NOT. THAT WOULD MEAN YOU HAVE TO HAVE HAD –>>WELL, DUH.>>Jimmy: YOU PROMISED YOU WERE GOING TO STOP [ BLEEP ]ING MY GIRLFRIENDS!>>SHE IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.>>Jimmy: SHE’S MY WIFE! THAT’S WORSE, THAT’S ACTUALLY WORSE! MOLLY!>>THIS IS BETWEEN YOU GUYS. I REALLY DON’T WANT TO GET IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, IT’S NOT MY BUSINESS.>>Jimmy: OF COURSE IT’S YOUR BUSINESS! IT COULDN’T BE MORE OF YOUR BUSINESS! IT’S NOT HER BUSINESS.>>IT’S NOT, YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO, LET THE BABY DECIDE.>>Jimmy: DECIDE WHAT?>>HELLO, BABY. WE DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE A BOY OR A GIRL. BUT YOU HAVE A CHOICE OF DADDIES.>>Jimmy: RIGHT.>>AND ONE DADDY COULD BE A EMMY LOSER.>>Jimmy: EMMY NOMINEE.>>SAME THING. OTHER DADDY COULD BE AN OSCAR WINNER. AN OSCAR WINNER, DO YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH DADDY’S OSCAR?>>Jimmy: IT WAS A WEAK YEAR. DO YOU WANT A DADDY BABY WHO MADE OUT WITH LIBERACE?>>OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE. THAT WAS ACTING.>>YEAH, ACTING, RIGHT.>>WHAT’S GOING ON?>>Jimmy: WHO ARE YOU?>>I’M HER DOCTOR.>>Jimmy: OH, I’M SORRY, DOCTOR –>>I’M THE FATHER.>>Jimmy: HE’S SAYING HE’S THE FATHER.>>THERE’S A SIMPLE WAY TO SETTLE THIS, DO A TEST.>>Jimmy: I’LL DO A TEST.>>I’LL DO A TEST.>>TODAY ON AN ALL-NEW “MAURY.” JIMMY HAS BEEN MARRIED TO MOLLY FOR FOUR YEARS. BUT JIMMY’S MORTAL ENEMY, MATT DAMON, THINKS HE’S THE FATHER OF MOLLY’S UNBORN BABY.>>I’M THE FATHER, JIMMY. THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.>>Jimmy: BUCKLE IT!>>ANOTHER OUTRAGEOUS “MAURY” IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.>>EVERYONE, WELCOME MOLLY, MATT, AND JIMMY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] JIMMY BELIEVES HE’S THE FATHER OF MOLLY’S BABY. MATT SAYS HE’S THE BABY DADDY. DY TELL YOU YOU NEEDED A SCORECARD? SO DOES THE HOST. LET’S TAKE A LOOK.>>MAURY, THERE’S NO WAY JIMMY IS THE FATHER OF MOLLY’S BABY, HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A [ BLEEP ]!>>Jimmy: IF MATT IS THE FATHER OF MOLLY’S BABY, I WILL SUE HIM, I WILL SUE MOLLY, I WILL SUE MAURY, I’LL SUE THE BABY. I WILL SUE!>>SUCH STUPID WORDS. MATT, WHY DO YOU THINK YOU’RE THE FATHER? PLEASE USE THE LOUDEST VOICE POSSIBLE.>>OKAY, IT’S OBVIOUS, ALL RIGHT? I WANT TO SHOW YOU THIS. LOOK AT THE NOSE. I MEAN, THAT’S OBVIOUSLY MY KID.>>Jimmy: THAT’S NOT A NOSE, THAT’S THE BABY’S PENIS, HE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A PENIS IS! HOW IS HE HAVING A BABY? I DON’T THINK SO, I DON’T THINK SO!>>JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE A [ BLEEP ] DOESN’T MEAN –>>Jimmy: OH!>>LET’S GET THIS AND FIND OUT THE RESULTS OF THE PATERNITY TEST!>>Jimmy: IS THAT WHY YOU WANTED MY PEE?>>NO, THAT WAS SOMETHING ELSE. MATT, WHEN IT COMES TO MOLLY’S BABY, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!>>Jimmy: YAY! YEAH, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER! LOOK AT THAT, RIGHT THERE, THAT’S THE FATHER, YEAH! YEAH! WHOO! WHOA! THAT’S NOT THE FATHER! YEAH!>>I CAN’T BELIEVE WE HAD THAT MUCH SEX AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN GET PREGNANT BY ME.>>SORRY.>>Jimmy: YOU DIDN’T, YOU DIDN’T!>>WELL, JIMMY, I HAVE A LITTLE NEWS FOR YOU. YOU ARE ALSO NOT THE FATHER!>>Jimmy: WHAT? OH, OH!>>AH, AH, AH! OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, WHAT’S UP NOW! WAIT A MINUTE, WHO’S THE FATHER?>>WHO IS THE FATHER?>>MOLLY, WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR UNBORN BABY –>>GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>YOU ARE THE FATHER!>>Jimmy: WHAT?>>I’M THE BABY’S DADDY. COME HERE, COME HERE.>>Jimmy: IS THIS TRUE?>>HOW COULD EITHER OF YOU SATISFY ME WHEN AWE YOU WILL REALLY WANT IS EACH OTHER?>>GUYS, IT’S BEEN OBVIOUS FOR YEARS.>>EVERYONE KNOWS.>>TRACY, DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE TO TELL SINUS.>>THAT’S RIGHT, I DO. I’M PREGNANT TOO.>>WHAT?>>WITH MAURY’S BABY!>>Jimmy: WHOA.>>WHOA!>>WHOA, I HATE CHILDREN! WHEN WE COME BACK, JIMMY FACES HIS FEAR OF BALLOONS.>>Jimmy: NO, NO!>>HE’S A BITCH.>>HE’S A BITCH.>>YOU ARE.>>HE’S A BITCH.>>ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF MAURY, GUILLERMO THINKS HIS MOM DRESSES TOO SEXY.>>MOM, I THINK YOU DRESS TOO SEXY.>>I THINK THAT THEY LIKE IT.>>TOMORROW ON “MAURY.”>>Jimmy: THANKS TO TRACY MORGAN AND RYAN SHORT. MATT DAMON HAS A NEW MOVIE CALL THE “THE GREAT WALL” OPENING

100 Replies to “Who’s The Baby Daddy: Jimmy Kimmel or Matt Damon?”

  1. This had so much potential to be funny, but you can tell they didn鈥檛 have any black people the Consult on skit.

  2. The Kimmel Damon feud (comedy bit) has been going on for more than a decade…. not complaining. Just saying, you gotta love THE Kimmel humor 馃槅馃ぃ馃槆

  3. I laughed so hard I seriously pissed myself 馃槀馃槀馃槀 I knew I shouldn't have smoked a doobie before watching this .

  4. Best part is they are fighting over who's the father of a retarded waterheaded kid with a heart condition. …I hope the kid dies in Jimmy's arms then he uses a gun( something he hates so much) to blow his own fkn head off

  5. 鈥淥ne of your daddy鈥檚 could be a Emmy loser…鈥

    鈥淎 nominee鈥

    鈥淪ame thing鈥 馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀馃槀 I鈥檓 crying cause it鈥檚 so true

  6. You have to respect any a-list actor that makes fun of himself! Tots-megoats to Jimmy and Conan! (Matt and Tracy doesn't need help they are doing JUST FINE!)

  7. When Damon say 鈥測ou didn鈥檛 tell him鈥 and Jimmy turns to look at his wife and says 鈥渢ell me what鈥. I just couldn鈥檛 stop laughing my ass off

  8. Saw only the start of the video. These people have gone too far to entertain the people. Even though they made this and everbody may be doing this video with his/her own choice but come-on, Where are the ethics, and respect of woman. It's strange and sad both.

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